so i gotta admit, i've been in this funk for a few days now. its not anything that i did, but its from some things that were "revealed" to me the other day. a really good friend of mine told me something that he did and it really upset me....well let me take that back, it disappointed me because i would have never in a million years expect him to do something like this. i got some real low down "friends" but he wasn't like that. and what really made me mad was that not only did he lie to me about it, and hide it, it was the way he told me. he said it like...idk really how to describe it but here is his words "before her ass try to make it into some bullshit...."
so u guys see where i'm coming from right??
one thing that i know about myself is that i'm a very trusting person and i actually treat my friendships like they are suppose to. if my homeboy tells me something i keep it between us. if someone needs something and i have the funds to get it, i got u. hell, u can put me in a room with ALL my homie's girls and i wouldn't touch them. i don't cross that line. i guess its just a sign for me from God sayin that i need to watch who i call a friend. because...well honestly, i prolly can say that excluding the big homie, whom i just met btw, i can't trust 95% of my male "friends" i think thats why i don't have any real male friends anymore. my best friend is slowly lettin his life go to waste by not actually doing anything with his life and is still jobless and still smokes his life away. not sayin that there is nothing wrong with gettin high, but get a job first. my former college homies are ALL bums and liars. i had a friend whom i woulda did anything for try to fuck my ex on multiply occasions. not to mention he has 3 kids and only half way takes care of the first one(only because he's named after him)i just want positive people in my life. if it means that i don't go out or go to games with the "guys" or have to watch fights alone then so be it. but i'm not gonna worry about small things like this anymore. i've made it this far and i'm still going on. to my male friends that don't fit into this category, don't take it personal. i'm just sayin. the fake friend crap is over.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
writers block
hey everyone!!1
how's your weekend going? mine has been really relaxing and very chill. i didn't go anywhere today and i liked that. i've gone out every weekend this past month and i enjoyed my fun, but sometimes its good to just stay at home. although next week i'm suppose to be hangin out with a friend but i'm havin mixed thoughts about going. he's an old friend, one of the few people i am still in contact with since i started college, but i will keep u guys posted.
*side note:i wish i knew how to put a music player on my blog so i could play music while u guys read my posts. but just to give u guys a visual i'm listening to Carl Thomas first album, "Giving You All My Love"*
back to the blog
i think i know what was preventing me from bloggin for so long. lack of inspiration. i had plenty to write about(LOTS) but i just didn't feel like the things that were going on was something that i needed to write about. well some of it was worth it, but i just didn't want to give that situation more power than it had, but in actuality i was by not talkin about it and lettin it build. well last night i had a talk with the big homie and he pretty much told me what i needed to hear. as u all already know, i have been going through this back and forth battle with my ex for months now and i think that its finally dead. like she did something the other day and it really pissed me off and at that moment, i said enough is enough with this. she knows what she's doin when she says(well text rather) the things she says. it was really random and when i tried to ask her about it, she replied"she shouldn't have sent me that message and that it wasn't her place to say what it is that she thinks that i am doing wrong." ok thats all fine and dandy, but don't initiate the conversation and then come back like oh i don't wanna talk about it,BUT something told me to check her twitter and sure enough, i found what i was lookin for. she can talk about me on there, but she can't tell me what it is thats bothering her. now u would think after EVERYTHING that we have been through, everything that i have recently helped her out with, she would have no problem at all. i mean, she has never been shy about speakin her mind, but today, she don't wanna talk??? if u guys knew what all i have done for her recently, u all would think that i was crazy for doing it. but hey, when u care about someone when they are at their lowest, u wanna help them. but all that is over with. whatever problem she has will be just that...hers. i'm not bitter or angry about it, its just not my battle.
how's your weekend going? mine has been really relaxing and very chill. i didn't go anywhere today and i liked that. i've gone out every weekend this past month and i enjoyed my fun, but sometimes its good to just stay at home. although next week i'm suppose to be hangin out with a friend but i'm havin mixed thoughts about going. he's an old friend, one of the few people i am still in contact with since i started college, but i will keep u guys posted.
*side note:i wish i knew how to put a music player on my blog so i could play music while u guys read my posts. but just to give u guys a visual i'm listening to Carl Thomas first album, "Giving You All My Love"*
back to the blog
i think i know what was preventing me from bloggin for so long. lack of inspiration. i had plenty to write about(LOTS) but i just didn't feel like the things that were going on was something that i needed to write about. well some of it was worth it, but i just didn't want to give that situation more power than it had, but in actuality i was by not talkin about it and lettin it build. well last night i had a talk with the big homie and he pretty much told me what i needed to hear. as u all already know, i have been going through this back and forth battle with my ex for months now and i think that its finally dead. like she did something the other day and it really pissed me off and at that moment, i said enough is enough with this. she knows what she's doin when she says(well text rather) the things she says. it was really random and when i tried to ask her about it, she replied"she shouldn't have sent me that message and that it wasn't her place to say what it is that she thinks that i am doing wrong." ok thats all fine and dandy, but don't initiate the conversation and then come back like oh i don't wanna talk about it,BUT something told me to check her twitter and sure enough, i found what i was lookin for. she can talk about me on there, but she can't tell me what it is thats bothering her. now u would think after EVERYTHING that we have been through, everything that i have recently helped her out with, she would have no problem at all. i mean, she has never been shy about speakin her mind, but today, she don't wanna talk??? if u guys knew what all i have done for her recently, u all would think that i was crazy for doing it. but hey, when u care about someone when they are at their lowest, u wanna help them. but all that is over with. whatever problem she has will be just that...hers. i'm not bitter or angry about it, its just not my battle.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
i'm doing better lol
so i had this blog i had been writin since tuesday but i don't feel like writin it anymore lol
wassup everyone(i almost said tweeple lol)
so today was a really good day. i got outta class early today and went to Lemoyne Owen college to see my co-worker step. now this was the first time i ever been to a HBCU stepshow, so i was a little excited...until i got there. it was so damn hot in that gym was silly. like image being in gym class as a kid with no air on the inside and then add ALL the black people that go to that school. how was the stepshow u ask?? horrible. worst stepshow i'd ever been to. LOC has to be the most ghetto-est school in the history of college. they were playin basketball before the stepshow started!!WTDTA!!! so of course after they stepped, me and my homeboys left.
so what else.....
like today was a really good day. i did't have any major issues. it was really cool. talked to pops today. he's really tryin to make some moves for me. if it keeps up, i might be makin some major moves sooner than i thought and tht would be great.
my plans for the weekend....
notadamnthang!!!! lol i am gonna chill and have fun all weekend. i think my friends and i are gonna go out tomorrow and thats all i really have planned. oh and watch a lot of football.
*side note(blackstreet first album was a banger!!!!!!)
i wanna briefly touch on one other subject. i just wanna say that stayin calm during "random moments" really helps. today i got a text and it kinda pissed me off, like wth did this come from. but u can't make someone explain there beef with u. just take it and let roll and thats what i learned. i really am thankful for the people that have recently been put in my life cuz i been gettin all types of advise from their situations and it helps a lot. you know u think that u can stay calm but sometimes u need that extra voice that says "relax, relate, release friend"
peace and love ya'll
wassup everyone(i almost said tweeple lol)
so today was a really good day. i got outta class early today and went to Lemoyne Owen college to see my co-worker step. now this was the first time i ever been to a HBCU stepshow, so i was a little excited...until i got there. it was so damn hot in that gym was silly. like image being in gym class as a kid with no air on the inside and then add ALL the black people that go to that school. how was the stepshow u ask?? horrible. worst stepshow i'd ever been to. LOC has to be the most ghetto-est school in the history of college. they were playin basketball before the stepshow started!!WTDTA!!! so of course after they stepped, me and my homeboys left.
so what else.....
like today was a really good day. i did't have any major issues. it was really cool. talked to pops today. he's really tryin to make some moves for me. if it keeps up, i might be makin some major moves sooner than i thought and tht would be great.
my plans for the weekend....
notadamnthang!!!! lol i am gonna chill and have fun all weekend. i think my friends and i are gonna go out tomorrow and thats all i really have planned. oh and watch a lot of football.
*side note(blackstreet first album was a banger!!!!!!)
i wanna briefly touch on one other subject. i just wanna say that stayin calm during "random moments" really helps. today i got a text and it kinda pissed me off, like wth did this come from. but u can't make someone explain there beef with u. just take it and let roll and thats what i learned. i really am thankful for the people that have recently been put in my life cuz i been gettin all types of advise from their situations and it helps a lot. you know u think that u can stay calm but sometimes u need that extra voice that says "relax, relate, release friend"
peace and love ya'll
Monday, September 21, 2009
gone but not forgotten
hey everyone,
sorry i have been mia on my blogging but i just didn't have any inspiration to write. don't get me wrong, i have had plenty to write about, i felt like there weren't any words to describe how i felt. i did, however talk to the homie(whats good fam! how bout them giants) and he helped me get past my issue. i hate to keep talkin about it, but its like this is still a major part of my young life and everything that i do now, has some sort of effect on my tomorrow. i will say that i am happy with where i am now, and i am enjoying life.
lets see what else......
i went to the Erykah Badu concert a few weeks ago and i had a good time. i also met some of my twitter friends that night too. speaking of twitter, the crew, these guys are my homies. even tho they are all alcoholics, i love em. i also went to the classic last weekend too. it was fun, got drunk(shout out to busyB) AND got more drunk. lol
oh, i forgot to tell u guys, i'm going to houston next month. i'm really serious about gettin outta memphis. i'm going for my fall break and i can't wait. i'm gonna go look at some schools for grad school and i'm also gonna get to spend some time with my pops too. can't wait for that. remember a few entries ago when i said that there was something that i wanted to discuss but i wasn't really ready to discuss it? well i'm still not ready but it has something to do with my trip to houston too. when i get back from texas i will tell u guys i promise. lol
thats all i have for now. since its #musicmonday, here's a song that i'm listening to on my ipod. this is for you..
peace and love yall
sorry i have been mia on my blogging but i just didn't have any inspiration to write. don't get me wrong, i have had plenty to write about, i felt like there weren't any words to describe how i felt. i did, however talk to the homie(whats good fam! how bout them giants) and he helped me get past my issue. i hate to keep talkin about it, but its like this is still a major part of my young life and everything that i do now, has some sort of effect on my tomorrow. i will say that i am happy with where i am now, and i am enjoying life.
lets see what else......
i went to the Erykah Badu concert a few weeks ago and i had a good time. i also met some of my twitter friends that night too. speaking of twitter, the crew, these guys are my homies. even tho they are all alcoholics, i love em. i also went to the classic last weekend too. it was fun, got drunk(shout out to busyB) AND got more drunk. lol
oh, i forgot to tell u guys, i'm going to houston next month. i'm really serious about gettin outta memphis. i'm going for my fall break and i can't wait. i'm gonna go look at some schools for grad school and i'm also gonna get to spend some time with my pops too. can't wait for that. remember a few entries ago when i said that there was something that i wanted to discuss but i wasn't really ready to discuss it? well i'm still not ready but it has something to do with my trip to houston too. when i get back from texas i will tell u guys i promise. lol
thats all i have for now. since its #musicmonday, here's a song that i'm listening to on my ipod. this is for you..
peace and love yall
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
my bad!!!!!!!!!
ok so tonight was suppose to be the night that i blogged but the game came on threw me completely off plus somethin else came up that also made me fall back on from writing and instead asked my "crew" a question and they gave me really good solid answers so tomorrow after class, i'm going to write what i wanted to say tonight and i will let u all get in on the topic as well. ok i gotta get some rest before i pass out.
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