i've been in this funk for the past three days and i can't shake it. i've also been having these dreams about an ex of mine and me pledging a fraternity. i'll get to the dreams later. but this funk........
it comes and it goes. i'm not mad all day or at everyone. i'm only mad at certain people, but i'm mad at them for sayin dumb stuff on twitter or if they send me a text message and i'm like "you can't be that dumb". i think sometimes i'm judgmental, but not in a way that i think that i'm better than you are. sometimes i give people too much credit than they deserve. as bad as it sounds, i shouldn't give people so much credit. like i should let them be on that lower level that they allow themselves to be on. its like i want to reach out to them and say "wake up!! you're makin yourself sound like an uneducated moron." i just want to shake this funk and be my regular self again.
as for my dreams.......for those that don't know, i entertained pledging for 2, maybe 2 and a half years. i was in it TOUGH! everything that u could think go wrong happened. i enjoyed the experience but i wish the results would have been different. about 3 weeks ago, one of my "big brothers" approached me and said "what up frat?" i looked around like who was he talkin to?? he and i talked and he said he always viewed me as his frat and thats how he refers to me when talkin to other people. he's not the first person to say that. a few other guys say that and i mean its cool, but its not true. if it were i'd be able to wear the letters and chant and go to meetings and do the other stuff that goes along with being in a fraternity. but back to the dream. in my dreams i'm doing all these things i listed and fellowshipping with the guys, but in the dreams, i don't see any neos. only the old heads are there and we are in a huge gym sitting around. i remember a few years ago when i was involved we used to just all hang out and chill. today however, not so much. in fact i don't hear from them at all, with the exception of 2. which is fine i don't have a problem with it, but the dreams are weird and its not like i'm entertaining the idea of pledging again. not undergrad for that matter.
then there's the dreams about my ex. but my sister explained it to me last night, so i can break it down to you all lol....the dreams.... each dream is different. one dream will be about her and i talkin and laughing. the next dream will be us walking around or just enjoying each others company. then there's the dream when she's in the dream, but NOT actually in the dream. like i see her around in the dream. she has nothing to do with it, but she's in the area. crazy right??!?!?!?! well we all know i don't want to be in relationship with her anything close to that area, but my sis broke it down in way that i just felt like i needed to do a back flip because she hit the nail on the coffin. she said that the dream represents me wanting to find someone that i relate to on that level. that area in my life, i'm lacking it. i don't necessarily need her or want her, i just miss that. and i do. i miss having someone to just talk to. my ex and i, always had fun conversations. i don't want a relationship right now. i really don't want to date either. i just want to have THAT person i can talk to just hang out and have inside jokes with. which brings me back to the funk that i'm in. i think, no i know, that this is the reason for the funk. Fudge my life
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
song of the day
hey there everyone!
i don't really have much to say today. i have a lot on my mind but nothing that's bad. just life really. making sure i stay on the right path. but anywho, so here is a video. i had my itunes on shuffle and this song came on. hope u guys like it.
i don't really have much to say today. i have a lot on my mind but nothing that's bad. just life really. making sure i stay on the right path. but anywho, so here is a video. i had my itunes on shuffle and this song came on. hope u guys like it.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
the wake up call
So I originally wanted this post to be about my trip to Chicago, but I feel like I have to get this off my chest. If this blog jumps, its because there is so much on my mind/chest that needs to be expressed
*disclaimer* this isn’t about anyone in particular that is in my life. its just about things in general.....
Today I read, the big homie’s blog and there was something he said in it that hit me directly in the face. He said something about giving people the time that don’t deserve it. For the longest, I’ve been feeling like I have been wasting my time, but I didn’t want to really admit it……until today. No longer am I going to waste my time with people that shouldn’t have my attention. Yeah its cool to get some attention every now and then, but it comes a time in our lives when we say enough is enough. I’ve heard enough of the “I miss you” and “when am I gonna see you again” non sense texts. I’m not an arrogant person in the least bit, but these people aren’t on my level. I mean if you want to see me, you’ll make time for it. This is how you can tell when a person is with the shit. They always have an excuse about why they couldn’t come see you or why they had to cancel meeting up. This is ALSO a key sign that this person shouldn’t be around. It’s just accepting the truth. They don’t need to be around so let them go. Trust me. Its not as bad you u think it might be. Yeah my phone doesn’t ring and I average maybe 5 texts a day. But in the long run, it will all be worth it. My ex used to always say that I kept people that shouldn’t be around stay around too much. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong with it because I wasn’t really talkin to them, but now that I’m single, I see why I should get rid of them. It even goes for friendships. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but they always find ways to disappoint. Again this isn’t about anyone in my close circle, im just sayin in general. We all know someone like this.
Also I have to get this off my chest too. on twitter; ladies, ladies ladies. Please STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE ON TWITTER!!!!! We know you fuckin. You don’t have to blast it and then turn around 5min later talkin about how you want a good man. Really? I mean really? #cmonson what guy is going to take u seriously. I know a girl that tells a guy that she likes to have sex a lot on her first date with them. We are grown as hell!! Don’t know real man want a woman like that. Then you wonder why no one takes you seriously. Cuz you let him hit on the first night!! This ain’t no movie ma! This is real life!!! This is the one that kills me though, @____ I’m sooo horny *next tweet* @_____ I gotta get some *ick asap!! *Next tweet* damn I wish I had a boyfriend that I could lay with right now. I don’t know why I can’t find a guy #fml…… REALLY(EXCUSE MY FRENCH) SKEEO???? (I don’t want to say the b word) REALLY??? No guy wants to be with a woman like that. I mean you can casual sex if you want, but a) please be safe and use protection. B) don’t blast that ish on the internet. If you meet someone u like, make him think that he just got “lucky”. BUT, let me make this clear too, guys talk too ladies, so don’t think u get sleep with one and the other not find out. Hate to burst you alls bubbles #donthateme #ejshrug
So where do you stand now is the question you ask? I stand single and I’m satisfied with it. I’m happy. Not looking or expecting anything from anyone. Not looking for anyone or anyone’s relationship. I don’t need time to “find myself” because I’ve already done that. I know what I want and I’m not settling for the everyday pointless games anymore. So keep the scrabble and taboo board games at the house.........This kid is grown.
peace&love
*disclaimer* this isn’t about anyone in particular that is in my life. its just about things in general.....
Today I read, the big homie’s blog and there was something he said in it that hit me directly in the face. He said something about giving people the time that don’t deserve it. For the longest, I’ve been feeling like I have been wasting my time, but I didn’t want to really admit it……until today. No longer am I going to waste my time with people that shouldn’t have my attention. Yeah its cool to get some attention every now and then, but it comes a time in our lives when we say enough is enough. I’ve heard enough of the “I miss you” and “when am I gonna see you again” non sense texts. I’m not an arrogant person in the least bit, but these people aren’t on my level. I mean if you want to see me, you’ll make time for it. This is how you can tell when a person is with the shit. They always have an excuse about why they couldn’t come see you or why they had to cancel meeting up. This is ALSO a key sign that this person shouldn’t be around. It’s just accepting the truth. They don’t need to be around so let them go. Trust me. Its not as bad you u think it might be. Yeah my phone doesn’t ring and I average maybe 5 texts a day. But in the long run, it will all be worth it. My ex used to always say that I kept people that shouldn’t be around stay around too much. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong with it because I wasn’t really talkin to them, but now that I’m single, I see why I should get rid of them. It even goes for friendships. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but they always find ways to disappoint. Again this isn’t about anyone in my close circle, im just sayin in general. We all know someone like this.
Also I have to get this off my chest too. on twitter; ladies, ladies ladies. Please STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE ON TWITTER!!!!! We know you fuckin. You don’t have to blast it and then turn around 5min later talkin about how you want a good man. Really? I mean really? #cmonson what guy is going to take u seriously. I know a girl that tells a guy that she likes to have sex a lot on her first date with them. We are grown as hell!! Don’t know real man want a woman like that. Then you wonder why no one takes you seriously. Cuz you let him hit on the first night!! This ain’t no movie ma! This is real life!!! This is the one that kills me though, @____ I’m sooo horny *next tweet* @_____ I gotta get some *ick asap!! *Next tweet* damn I wish I had a boyfriend that I could lay with right now. I don’t know why I can’t find a guy #fml…… REALLY(EXCUSE MY FRENCH) SKEEO???? (I don’t want to say the b word) REALLY??? No guy wants to be with a woman like that. I mean you can casual sex if you want, but a) please be safe and use protection. B) don’t blast that ish on the internet. If you meet someone u like, make him think that he just got “lucky”. BUT, let me make this clear too, guys talk too ladies, so don’t think u get sleep with one and the other not find out. Hate to burst you alls bubbles #donthateme #ejshrug
So where do you stand now is the question you ask? I stand single and I’m satisfied with it. I’m happy. Not looking or expecting anything from anyone. Not looking for anyone or anyone’s relationship. I don’t need time to “find myself” because I’ve already done that. I know what I want and I’m not settling for the everyday pointless games anymore. So keep the scrabble and taboo board games at the house.........This kid is grown.
peace&love
Monday, March 22, 2010
Weekend update on the Plane ride to Chicago
Whats up everyone! How was your weekend? I had a great weekend!
(this post was supposed to be posted last week before I left for Chicago. The Chicago post will come later on tonight.)
So as you all already know I went to the Grizzlies game against the New York Knicks. My home team!!! Of course the Knicks lost lol but the experience at the game was unforgettable. We had great seats! Almost court side behind the players bench. I sat next to these guys from new york that really made me being at home. They were lost and obnoxious. Just the way we like to be at games. But it wasn’t like they were saying things that weren’t ok to say at a game. This guy that sat near us offered one of the guys a beer if he shut up. Lol but it’s a basketball game. Not a tennis match. Who wants to sit at a game and not say ANYTHING?!?!?!?!?!? Not me. Eventually the people around us started laughing and ended up having a great time. But this one old lady cursed them out. It was classic. Nothing like new york fans. As the game ended, my friend told me to come down to the players bench. So I went down there and he was like we bout to meet the team. And I’m yeah ok, lol and we said no seriously. I got us some passes. I got to meet Tracy McGrady, Al Harrington, David Lee, Chis Duhon, and a few other players. I got their autographs and I was able to talk to them too! They are all pretty cool guys. Especially David; if he wasn’t an NBA player I oculd see myself being friends with him. He literally sat down where we were and talked to everyone. I even got to see NBA groupies. Lol They were…….well lets just say they were there lol I met one of the Knicks girlfriends too. Nice girl Down to earth. It was cool being able to just be around them. It opened up a whole different world that most of us will never experience. And what really made me feel good was the fact that they aren’t THAT much bigger than I am. Yeah they were tall, but very slim. I don’t feel so bad about being small lol
Saturday night I went to my usual spot and hung out with my boys and our official sister . I must say that I enjoy every Saturday night with them. We are like brothers. A few months ago I couldn’t say that. But we have grown closer to the point to where we all talk at least once a day. And we all get along. Sure we all have our days, but its never to the point where we want to fight each other anything. We don’t talk about each other anything. A few people came towards the end of the night I talked to them and then I left and went home. So I had a pretty nice weekend. I’m on the plane now so I will hit you all up when I land! CHI-TOWN HERE I COME!!!!
(this post was supposed to be posted last week before I left for Chicago. The Chicago post will come later on tonight.)
So as you all already know I went to the Grizzlies game against the New York Knicks. My home team!!! Of course the Knicks lost lol but the experience at the game was unforgettable. We had great seats! Almost court side behind the players bench. I sat next to these guys from new york that really made me being at home. They were lost and obnoxious. Just the way we like to be at games. But it wasn’t like they were saying things that weren’t ok to say at a game. This guy that sat near us offered one of the guys a beer if he shut up. Lol but it’s a basketball game. Not a tennis match. Who wants to sit at a game and not say ANYTHING?!?!?!?!?!? Not me. Eventually the people around us started laughing and ended up having a great time. But this one old lady cursed them out. It was classic. Nothing like new york fans. As the game ended, my friend told me to come down to the players bench. So I went down there and he was like we bout to meet the team. And I’m yeah ok, lol and we said no seriously. I got us some passes. I got to meet Tracy McGrady, Al Harrington, David Lee, Chis Duhon, and a few other players. I got their autographs and I was able to talk to them too! They are all pretty cool guys. Especially David; if he wasn’t an NBA player I oculd see myself being friends with him. He literally sat down where we were and talked to everyone. I even got to see NBA groupies. Lol They were…….well lets just say they were there lol I met one of the Knicks girlfriends too. Nice girl Down to earth. It was cool being able to just be around them. It opened up a whole different world that most of us will never experience. And what really made me feel good was the fact that they aren’t THAT much bigger than I am. Yeah they were tall, but very slim. I don’t feel so bad about being small lol
Saturday night I went to my usual spot and hung out with my boys and our official sister . I must say that I enjoy every Saturday night with them. We are like brothers. A few months ago I couldn’t say that. But we have grown closer to the point to where we all talk at least once a day. And we all get along. Sure we all have our days, but its never to the point where we want to fight each other anything. We don’t talk about each other anything. A few people came towards the end of the night I talked to them and then I left and went home. So I had a pretty nice weekend. I’m on the plane now so I will hit you all up when I land! CHI-TOWN HERE I COME!!!!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
its almost that time!
don't really have anything to say right now, but by the end of the day i'm sure i will. i'm off today and i don't plan on going anywhere until this evening when i go by my moms house to see my sister before she leaves. Chicago is almost here! i can't wait til i leave. i think this post is just going to be the song of the day post and since i'm a Peppers mood here's a good song....oh and don't judge me for the lyrics either lol i couldn't find a video without them lol
peace&love
peace&love
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
just another day
so this break has been really relaxing. i decided to take a break from twitter. i've probably tweeted 12 times in the past 3 days. sometimes it gets overwhelming and i just don't feel like being bothered by some of my followers. some of my followers are so shady. its like i don't even know you, but i can tell you only come around when u want something. but the crazy part about that, i entertain it. so whenever i do come back to twitter full time(that sounds so funny to me)i will be making another cut.
here's a fun fact, i found out this girl i met and briefly talked to this past christmas break was dating one of my homeboys at the same time *pause* we were BOTH told the same lies; which in result caused us to realize she was crazy at the same time and stopped talkin to her. its funny how the world turns lol this further lets me know that dating is not for me right now.isn't life grand!!! lol
so i thought about ending my hiphop fast the other day. yesterday i listened to biggie ALL day and i must say i miss hiphop. true hiphop. so i turned on the radio to see if there was any new music that i was missing out on and if i needed to end the fast. i skimmed thru the stations....same shit lol i finally heard this one song that i keep hearing people talk about. i listened to probably 20sec of the song and i didn't know if i should throw myself or the radio out the window. the song is that gucci mane song about yellow stuff. in one line he says and i quote "lemon peppered wings and a freeze cup" seriously??????????? if this is what i'll be subjecting myself to if i stop the fast, then i'd be pretty dumb for ending it. although i'm working making a mix from my itunes of nothing but artists that i like. the only problem is, i don't have one of those radios that connect to my ipod in my truck so i'm gonna have to buy one of those radio kit things for my SUV. but i really do miss hearing good rap music tho. when i go to clubs, they play that fast beat techno music so i still don't hear good rap lol the story of my life.
well thats all i have for now. i need to feed my dog and get ready for work. oh btw, anyone that wants to doggy-sit for me next week while i'm in chicago, let me know. he's not a bad dog and he's fun! so let me know please! lol
peace&love
here's a fun fact, i found out this girl i met and briefly talked to this past christmas break was dating one of my homeboys at the same time *pause* we were BOTH told the same lies; which in result caused us to realize she was crazy at the same time and stopped talkin to her. its funny how the world turns lol this further lets me know that dating is not for me right now.isn't life grand!!! lol
so i thought about ending my hiphop fast the other day. yesterday i listened to biggie ALL day and i must say i miss hiphop. true hiphop. so i turned on the radio to see if there was any new music that i was missing out on and if i needed to end the fast. i skimmed thru the stations....same shit lol i finally heard this one song that i keep hearing people talk about. i listened to probably 20sec of the song and i didn't know if i should throw myself or the radio out the window. the song is that gucci mane song about yellow stuff. in one line he says and i quote "lemon peppered wings and a freeze cup" seriously??????????? if this is what i'll be subjecting myself to if i stop the fast, then i'd be pretty dumb for ending it. although i'm working making a mix from my itunes of nothing but artists that i like. the only problem is, i don't have one of those radios that connect to my ipod in my truck so i'm gonna have to buy one of those radio kit things for my SUV. but i really do miss hearing good rap music tho. when i go to clubs, they play that fast beat techno music so i still don't hear good rap lol the story of my life.
well thats all i have for now. i need to feed my dog and get ready for work. oh btw, anyone that wants to doggy-sit for me next week while i'm in chicago, let me know. he's not a bad dog and he's fun! so let me know please! lol
peace&love
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
RIP BIGGIE
today marks the 13 anniversary of Christoper Wallace's death. i remember where i was when i heard the sad news. seems like it was just yesterday. here is a video of my favorite biggie song. well, its one of many. this song is so universal. u don't have to be from the hood to relate to the lyrics. enjoy everyone.....
peace and love
peace and love
Monday, March 8, 2010
weekend wrap up, exthoughts, dating
wassup everyone! how was your weekend?
first i want to say thank you to everyone that commented and tweeted me on my 100th post. again i thank EVRYONE that has helped my growth. and shoutout to my new blog followers. feel free to comment and say whatever you want! this is an open community lol so with that said, lets get into things!......
i had a great weekend! i chilled with my friends saw a movie (that i'm gonna have to see again because i fell asleep on it lol) and i relaxed briefly as well. i also bumped into my FIRST girlfriend this weekend. we ended up talkin longer than i thought that night and i wasn't able to go bowling grrrrrr lol but it was fun catching up with her and i wish her the best...... i have a least 4 blogs that i haven't posted yet. i've been thinkin about some things in my life and i want to change them, but i don't think i need to post what i've written. sometimes its good to just do things without actually sayin it.
the other night my ex called me and we talked without arguing.....*pause*...... everyone that has had something to say about me talkin to her, well, i really don't care what u think honestly. it was a phone call. i have been having dreams about her prior to the call and i had 2 more after the conversation. they weren't bad dreams or dreams that were nasty, they were just dreams. although one of them, was about us "talking". it was kinda like a continuation from a dream i had a long time ago. but the thought of her and i gettin back together has NEVER came across my mind on a conscious level. some people say why are u even talkin to her or you're gonna let her start stuff with you again. and to you all i again say #o_O AND I'M A GROWN ASS MAN! i can do what i want. like i said a long time ago, a friendship with her wouldn't be that bad. it just would be something that progresses with time. i'm happy where i am and so is she. you can't hold grudges forever people. don't get bitter, get better...
speaking of being happy, i'm thinkin about taking a break from "dating" i don't want to be bothered with it right now. granted if the right one comes along we'll discuss things, but for now, i have YET to meet anyone thats worth more than a hello/goodbye conversation. i want to start focusing on bigger and better things for my life. after i graduate i want to travel. i want to just pack a bag or 2, hop on a plane and fly to london, greece, and the rest of europe. i'm going to 25 in less than 2 months and before i start "settling down" there are things that i want to do and see. and until that time comes, i'm thinking about not having sex again. granted i've had sex with 2 women this year, but i'm bored with it. i hate having sex with someone and not having a feeling afterward. not saying i wanna spoon all night, but i just want it to mean something. my emotions are all over the place today for some reason lol but anywho, thats where i stand on sex, relationships, and everything else.
oh and i'll prolly end my hiphop fast in the next few weeks or so. i think all this r&b is starting to get to me lol but if you all have any suggestions about music or artist that i should listen to, feel free to let me know. so thats all i have to say for now, bout to get ready and head to work in a bit. i may post something else tonight i don't have ish else to do.
peace and love ya'll
first i want to say thank you to everyone that commented and tweeted me on my 100th post. again i thank EVRYONE that has helped my growth. and shoutout to my new blog followers. feel free to comment and say whatever you want! this is an open community lol so with that said, lets get into things!......
i had a great weekend! i chilled with my friends saw a movie (that i'm gonna have to see again because i fell asleep on it lol) and i relaxed briefly as well. i also bumped into my FIRST girlfriend this weekend. we ended up talkin longer than i thought that night and i wasn't able to go bowling grrrrrr lol but it was fun catching up with her and i wish her the best...... i have a least 4 blogs that i haven't posted yet. i've been thinkin about some things in my life and i want to change them, but i don't think i need to post what i've written. sometimes its good to just do things without actually sayin it.
the other night my ex called me and we talked without arguing.....*pause*...... everyone that has had something to say about me talkin to her, well, i really don't care what u think honestly. it was a phone call. i have been having dreams about her prior to the call and i had 2 more after the conversation. they weren't bad dreams or dreams that were nasty, they were just dreams. although one of them, was about us "talking". it was kinda like a continuation from a dream i had a long time ago. but the thought of her and i gettin back together has NEVER came across my mind on a conscious level. some people say why are u even talkin to her or you're gonna let her start stuff with you again. and to you all i again say #o_O AND I'M A GROWN ASS MAN! i can do what i want. like i said a long time ago, a friendship with her wouldn't be that bad. it just would be something that progresses with time. i'm happy where i am and so is she. you can't hold grudges forever people. don't get bitter, get better...
speaking of being happy, i'm thinkin about taking a break from "dating" i don't want to be bothered with it right now. granted if the right one comes along we'll discuss things, but for now, i have YET to meet anyone thats worth more than a hello/goodbye conversation. i want to start focusing on bigger and better things for my life. after i graduate i want to travel. i want to just pack a bag or 2, hop on a plane and fly to london, greece, and the rest of europe. i'm going to 25 in less than 2 months and before i start "settling down" there are things that i want to do and see. and until that time comes, i'm thinking about not having sex again. granted i've had sex with 2 women this year, but i'm bored with it. i hate having sex with someone and not having a feeling afterward. not saying i wanna spoon all night, but i just want it to mean something. my emotions are all over the place today for some reason lol but anywho, thats where i stand on sex, relationships, and everything else.
oh and i'll prolly end my hiphop fast in the next few weeks or so. i think all this r&b is starting to get to me lol but if you all have any suggestions about music or artist that i should listen to, feel free to let me know. so thats all i have to say for now, bout to get ready and head to work in a bit. i may post something else tonight i don't have ish else to do.
peace and love ya'll
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
THANK YOU!!!! 100
100!!!!!!!!!!
So this is my 100th post. i'm going to dedicate this post to everyone that has helped this blog get to the point where it is. this is my 3rd blog. the first two had a lot of lies, drama, and heartache. although this blog had heartache, it has also shown my growth from that point. so without further ado, here it goes!!!
there was a point in my life when i was very depressed. i had a very bad break up, as u all already know. i didn't know what to do. i wanted to write, i couldn't i wanted to express myself, i didn't know how. i wanted someone to feel my anger, but i couldn't find anyone to punch. in the end i had to do it on my own. i had to find myself. it gets very lonely at the bottom, BUT thank God i know how to climb. those days are long gone. i'm happy. i don't have those thoughts anymore. i don't feel alone. and what helped me get past that the most was you all....
MY TWEEPLES....... i don't know how we even became friends and who started following who first, but whomever it was thank you. you guys took me in your wolf pack and it grew by one hahahahahaha :Ari, Brandy *its BRANDY,like the drink*(remember that? hahaha) kimmie, TK, and Big Homie. you guys have helped me grow and view life in a whole different view. you all are truly my family. when i was ranting about things on twitter each one of you pulled me to the side told me what i needed to hear, not what i wanted to hear and i thank you all sooooo much for that. Ari thanks for not going off that one night *you know what i'm talkin about* who knew then what we know now lol thank you so much for helping me get out the shell i was in for so long.TK, I still owe you them pancakes lol Big homie, i really can't express in words how much you have helped me grow. you are the big brother i never had. thank you for the advice, the music, and just for being there when others weren't. *BOW WOW WOW* thats classic.
my new friends tifani, tomorro, cre-cre, you all are my sisters. i love you all. Keishia we been cool since high school. feels good to be close again. *AND IT KILLS ME!!* my girl Melzie C, thank you for everything. your writings helped me as well. i'm gonna write a poem for you one of these days lol
my brothers from another, spida, fresh, squire, you guys have been my homies for years. we haven't always been close, but now more then ever i feel like we all have grown from where we were 3yrs ago. lets keep growing fam.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY BLOG FOLLOWERS.....
THANK YOU!!!!! thank you for your comments and your advice. i love you all!!
to everyone else thank you. if i didn't name you, its not because you don't mean anything to me, but these are the people that have been there the most for me and i feel like i owe this post to them. please don't be upset.
alright everyone, thats my time. again thank you!!!
peace and love
So this is my 100th post. i'm going to dedicate this post to everyone that has helped this blog get to the point where it is. this is my 3rd blog. the first two had a lot of lies, drama, and heartache. although this blog had heartache, it has also shown my growth from that point. so without further ado, here it goes!!!
there was a point in my life when i was very depressed. i had a very bad break up, as u all already know. i didn't know what to do. i wanted to write, i couldn't i wanted to express myself, i didn't know how. i wanted someone to feel my anger, but i couldn't find anyone to punch. in the end i had to do it on my own. i had to find myself. it gets very lonely at the bottom, BUT thank God i know how to climb. those days are long gone. i'm happy. i don't have those thoughts anymore. i don't feel alone. and what helped me get past that the most was you all....
MY TWEEPLES....... i don't know how we even became friends and who started following who first, but whomever it was thank you. you guys took me in your wolf pack and it grew by one hahahahahaha :Ari, Brandy *its BRANDY,like the drink*(remember that? hahaha) kimmie, TK, and Big Homie. you guys have helped me grow and view life in a whole different view. you all are truly my family. when i was ranting about things on twitter each one of you pulled me to the side told me what i needed to hear, not what i wanted to hear and i thank you all sooooo much for that. Ari thanks for not going off that one night *you know what i'm talkin about* who knew then what we know now lol thank you so much for helping me get out the shell i was in for so long.TK, I still owe you them pancakes lol Big homie, i really can't express in words how much you have helped me grow. you are the big brother i never had. thank you for the advice, the music, and just for being there when others weren't. *BOW WOW WOW* thats classic.
my new friends tifani, tomorro, cre-cre, you all are my sisters. i love you all. Keishia we been cool since high school. feels good to be close again. *AND IT KILLS ME!!* my girl Melzie C, thank you for everything. your writings helped me as well. i'm gonna write a poem for you one of these days lol
my brothers from another, spida, fresh, squire, you guys have been my homies for years. we haven't always been close, but now more then ever i feel like we all have grown from where we were 3yrs ago. lets keep growing fam.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, MY BLOG FOLLOWERS.....
THANK YOU!!!!! thank you for your comments and your advice. i love you all!!
to everyone else thank you. if i didn't name you, its not because you don't mean anything to me, but these are the people that have been there the most for me and i feel like i owe this post to them. please don't be upset.
alright everyone, thats my time. again thank you!!!
peace and love
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