the funk N dreams

i've been in this funk for the past three days and i can't shake it. i've also been having these dreams about an ex of mine and me pledging a fraternity. i'll get to the dreams later. but this funk........

it comes and it goes. i'm not mad all day or at everyone. i'm only mad at certain people, but i'm mad at them for sayin dumb stuff on twitter or if they send me a text message and i'm like "you can't be that dumb". i think sometimes i'm judgmental, but not in a way that i think that i'm better than you are. sometimes i give people too much credit than they deserve. as bad as it sounds, i shouldn't give people so much credit. like i should let them be on that lower level that they allow themselves to be on. its like i want to reach out to them and say "wake up!! you're makin yourself sound like an uneducated moron." i just want to shake this funk and be my regular self again.

as for my dreams.......for those that don't know, i entertained pledging for 2, maybe 2 and a half years. i was in it TOUGH! everything that u could think go wrong happened. i enjoyed the experience but i wish the results would have been different. about 3 weeks ago, one of my "big brothers" approached me and said "what up frat?" i looked around like who was he talkin to?? he and i talked and he said he always viewed me as his frat and thats how he refers to me when talkin to other people. he's not the first person to say that. a few other guys say that and i mean its cool, but its not true. if it were i'd be able to wear the letters and chant and go to meetings and do the other stuff that goes along with being in a fraternity. but back to the dream. in my dreams i'm doing all these things i listed and fellowshipping with the guys, but in the dreams, i don't see any neos. only the old heads are there and we are in a huge gym sitting around. i remember a few years ago when i was involved we used to just all hang out and chill. today however, not so much. in fact i don't hear from them at all, with the exception of 2. which is fine i don't have a problem with it, but the dreams are weird and its not like i'm entertaining the idea of pledging again. not undergrad for that matter.

then there's the dreams about my ex. but my sister explained it to me last night, so i can break it down to you all lol....the dreams.... each dream is different. one dream will be about her and i talkin and laughing. the next dream will be us walking around or just enjoying each others company. then there's the dream when she's in the dream, but NOT actually in the dream. like i see her around in the dream. she has nothing to do with it, but she's in the area. crazy right??!?!?!?! well we all know i don't want to be in relationship with her anything close to that area, but my sis broke it down in way that i just felt like i needed to do a back flip because she hit the nail on the coffin. she said that the dream represents me wanting to find someone that i relate to on that level. that area in my life, i'm lacking it. i don't necessarily need her or want her, i just miss that. and i do. i miss having someone to just talk to. my ex and i, always had fun conversations. i don't want a relationship right now. i really don't want to date either. i just want to have THAT person i can talk to just hang out and have inside jokes with. which brings me back to the funk that i'm in. i think, no i know, that this is the reason for the funk. Fudge my life