Hey everyone!
Happy belated thanksgiving!! I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days now, but I’ve been so busy with work, school work and preparing for the transition from my old job to my new job. So with that said let’s get into it....
Thanksgiving.....
Thanksgiving started off very bad for me. I was alone with nowhere to go. My whole family left for VA to go to my cousins’ wedding over the weekend. My mother was here and her sisters but you already know how things are with us so clearly I wasn’t gonna be around for that. Sooooo ….i went to my friend’s house(s). The first house I went to was cool. I went to my home girl house and ate some really good food. Her mom and sister both were there hadn’t seen them in a few months so it was good to see them as well. BUT her boyfriend was there as well. Her boyfriend and I are cool but we had a “small” issue some years back. It’s been resolved since then, but it was still a little uncomfortable being there. Like she made one comment like, “remember that one time…..” but then she inserted a “but it happened a long time ago. Long long time ago.” And I’m thinking if you have to do that then clearly there has to be issues going on with me being there. But she invited me so I’m like hey, it is what is ya know. This happened years ago let’s leave it at that....So I left that house and went to house number two. I went to my homeboy house and I had a GREAT time. 4 of my homies were there and we had a great round table discussion about girls, girls, funny moments, twitter and more girls. I really missed having those talks. We, well mainly they did, discussed girls that are known for things other than their good looks. I had NO IDEA how many of the same people we all knew. Well, I kinda did, but it was good to confirm facts. The food was great too btw Lol so after 2hrs of laughs and jokes I left and went to house number 3….my best friend house. I usually go there every year for the holidays and I enjoy myself every time. His aunt is one of the funniest and bluntly honest women alive. I fixed myself a plate because I couldn’t possibly eat another morsel of food. Lol we attempted to see a movie but it was sold out and the next showing wasn’t until 2hrs later and we didn’t feel like waiting. So in all I had a good day. It took my mind off of things and I enjoyed myself. Honestly it was hard for me spending thanksgiving alone this year without my ex. Thanksgiving was our first holiday that we spent together and it brought back memories.....
Speaking of her, I had a really weird dream about her last night. I dreamt that we were on the phone but I was the only one talking. She said 3 maybe 4 words, and that’s all she said. Like it was one of those “I’ll let you talk the whole time, just get it over with” conversations. I’m not gonna go into detail about what I think it meant, but I do feel like it was a sign of recent events on how things are/were between us. To add on to this, I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately. I sleep for 3hrs and I wake up. Then I’m up for 2hrs then I fall back to sleep for 2hrs then I wake up again. I really couldn’t tell you the last time I actually slept through the night. I’m not sure what exactly it means for sure, but I have a feeling that this has a small part in all this. There’s more I want to add on to this, but I’m waiting until I get some things in order first before I have the “final thoughts” on this topic. If you guys have opinions on it feel free to comment.
I really feel like talking about it now, but I HAVE to wait...BUT any who....
Random though...you guys ever have so much on your mind that you don’t know where to end or begin? Well that’s how I feel now. I want to say how I feel. I want to say what I want, I want to scream..BUT I don’t know how to properly express it without sounding like I’m rambling. i have some kinda feeling but i don't know what it is, So I guess I will end this post with that. *note* I’m not sad or anything so please don’t call or text or tweet me asking me if I’m sad. I’m fine; I just don’t know how to express my emotions right now.....
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
what they really want from a brotha??
so i was reading one the blogs that i follow and it got me thinking.....what is it that really want from a woman??????
i
i mean clearly i KNOW what i want, but the question is are YOU capable of giving it back? i hate the dating process. absolutely hate it. i hate the whole "holding back certain comments because she may not know that i'm joking" thing. i hate meeting friends and family that don't like me because i didn't do this or that the way they wanted me to do it. i couldn't tell you the last girl i dated and i actually LIKED her friends. lol i just want to know WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. i'm not going to pretend to like you, i'm not gonna gas your head up with lies or anything like that. just say, "this is what i want and if you can do those things and whatever else positivity you can bring is a plus". i want to meet a girl that gives me butterflies and makes me chase her a bit. i've NEVER in the years of dating had to chase a female. not a single one. i've never approached a girl. they always have came on to me first and i just went with it. if it developed into something, then great. if it didn't,thats great too. even my relationships, they always began with sex after first meeting. i don't want that in my next relationship. i want the real deal courtship. make me wait. make me chase you. hell, make me do anything besides pin your legs back within a day or two. lol
i'm not 100% ready to get back in the game, but i am up for a good game of 21. meaning i'm not trying to be with ANYONE right now but i will listen to what you have to say. i'm still nursing a few injuries but trust, i won't be out for long. i think last week sped up a LARGE portion of that, but its still a growing process that i'm workin hard to recover from. this post was a little random and i'm sure i contradicted myself a little but hey its my blog and i'm just thinking out loud. have a good day folks.....
peace&love
i
i mean clearly i KNOW what i want, but the question is are YOU capable of giving it back? i hate the dating process. absolutely hate it. i hate the whole "holding back certain comments because she may not know that i'm joking" thing. i hate meeting friends and family that don't like me because i didn't do this or that the way they wanted me to do it. i couldn't tell you the last girl i dated and i actually LIKED her friends. lol i just want to know WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. i'm not going to pretend to like you, i'm not gonna gas your head up with lies or anything like that. just say, "this is what i want and if you can do those things and whatever else positivity you can bring is a plus". i want to meet a girl that gives me butterflies and makes me chase her a bit. i've NEVER in the years of dating had to chase a female. not a single one. i've never approached a girl. they always have came on to me first and i just went with it. if it developed into something, then great. if it didn't,thats great too. even my relationships, they always began with sex after first meeting. i don't want that in my next relationship. i want the real deal courtship. make me wait. make me chase you. hell, make me do anything besides pin your legs back within a day or two. lol
i'm not 100% ready to get back in the game, but i am up for a good game of 21. meaning i'm not trying to be with ANYONE right now but i will listen to what you have to say. i'm still nursing a few injuries but trust, i won't be out for long. i think last week sped up a LARGE portion of that, but its still a growing process that i'm workin hard to recover from. this post was a little random and i'm sure i contradicted myself a little but hey its my blog and i'm just thinking out loud. have a good day folks.....
peace&love
Sunday, November 22, 2009
my weekend
hey everyone! how was your weekend?
my weekend was pretty cool. it sucked and then it got back cool and then it sucked some more and now its cool again. as u all know, i was suppose to go out friday night after work wit my friend, BUT like everything else in my social life, it didn't happen. i called her earlier that day and she said that she was gonna try and finish her paper so we could go out and she was ready to have fun that night. well, around 7ish i think, she called me back and said that she wasn't gonna be able to go because she was still workin on the paper and that she would be done by saturday so we could go saturday instead. so i was like cool no problem. i'm a firm believer in school coming first. besides, i would have fallen asleep on the movie anyways. so i went home and did absolutely nothing, well i wrote out my spending for the next two weeks and that was it oh, and watched star trek GREAT MOVIE!!!!
So, i wake up saturday morning and i'm like you know what, i'm gonna have a great Aaron day! So got up, made breakfast and looked at the times for som movies. i was gonna call my friend but i really just wanted to have a day to myself. i went to see Precious and New Moon. for those of you that haven't seen Precious, please please please go see this movie. its a powerful movie that you MUST see. at first i felt a little lame for seeing that movie alone, but who else was i gonna go see it with? Baxter??? lol it was great seeing sooo many people to see that movie. i expected it to be a few people there,but it was great seeing people support the movie. after i watched precious i walk right into new moon lol smooth transition. there were SOOOOOO many small children in there and i kept thinkin"this is a vampire movie regardless of the love story surrounding it" but white people do what they want,when they want lol not even 15 min in some 3 yr old starts cryin like crazy and they hadn't shown any bad stuff yet. lol i mean, why do that? why bring a small child into a huge dark room with surround sound with hundreds of people only to be walkin in and out every 10min because your child is crying. great way to ruin EVERYONE else movie experience and waste 10 bucks for a movie you won't get to see. New Moon was pretty good. i was surprised to see one person in the movie, but she did a good job the little bit she was in it. and i'm assuming the 3rd will be on its way soon. i was going to stay for a 3rd but i got hungry and spending 500 bucks for popcorn was out of the question so i left and got myself a pizza from Johnny Brusco's and went home and watched just chilled.
The only reason why i said that my weekend sucked was because........well, idk. it really didn't. i had a great weekend. i didn't have any beefs or drama or anything like that. i went to church this morning and it was a great message. so i actually had a great weekend. this week is going to be a great week. i can feel it. although, i will be spending thanksgiving alone because my entire family is going out of town, i'm still going to enjoy myself. maybe i will cook my own dinner this year or maybe i will go to jackson and eat with my cousin and his family. not sure yet, but
thats all i have for now, i have something else i want to discuss but i will probably wait a little while before i blog about it,but anywho....
peace&love
my weekend was pretty cool. it sucked and then it got back cool and then it sucked some more and now its cool again. as u all know, i was suppose to go out friday night after work wit my friend, BUT like everything else in my social life, it didn't happen. i called her earlier that day and she said that she was gonna try and finish her paper so we could go out and she was ready to have fun that night. well, around 7ish i think, she called me back and said that she wasn't gonna be able to go because she was still workin on the paper and that she would be done by saturday so we could go saturday instead. so i was like cool no problem. i'm a firm believer in school coming first. besides, i would have fallen asleep on the movie anyways. so i went home and did absolutely nothing, well i wrote out my spending for the next two weeks and that was it oh, and watched star trek GREAT MOVIE!!!!
So, i wake up saturday morning and i'm like you know what, i'm gonna have a great Aaron day! So got up, made breakfast and looked at the times for som movies. i was gonna call my friend but i really just wanted to have a day to myself. i went to see Precious and New Moon. for those of you that haven't seen Precious, please please please go see this movie. its a powerful movie that you MUST see. at first i felt a little lame for seeing that movie alone, but who else was i gonna go see it with? Baxter??? lol it was great seeing sooo many people to see that movie. i expected it to be a few people there,but it was great seeing people support the movie. after i watched precious i walk right into new moon lol smooth transition. there were SOOOOOO many small children in there and i kept thinkin"this is a vampire movie regardless of the love story surrounding it" but white people do what they want,when they want lol not even 15 min in some 3 yr old starts cryin like crazy and they hadn't shown any bad stuff yet. lol i mean, why do that? why bring a small child into a huge dark room with surround sound with hundreds of people only to be walkin in and out every 10min because your child is crying. great way to ruin EVERYONE else movie experience and waste 10 bucks for a movie you won't get to see. New Moon was pretty good. i was surprised to see one person in the movie, but she did a good job the little bit she was in it. and i'm assuming the 3rd will be on its way soon. i was going to stay for a 3rd but i got hungry and spending 500 bucks for popcorn was out of the question so i left and got myself a pizza from Johnny Brusco's and went home and watched just chilled.
The only reason why i said that my weekend sucked was because........well, idk. it really didn't. i had a great weekend. i didn't have any beefs or drama or anything like that. i went to church this morning and it was a great message. so i actually had a great weekend. this week is going to be a great week. i can feel it. although, i will be spending thanksgiving alone because my entire family is going out of town, i'm still going to enjoy myself. maybe i will cook my own dinner this year or maybe i will go to jackson and eat with my cousin and his family. not sure yet, but
thats all i have for now, i have something else i want to discuss but i will probably wait a little while before i blog about it,but anywho....
peace&love
Friday, November 20, 2009
THE TALK(not really)
FINALLY!!! ITS FRIDAY!!!!
tonight i was suppose to go kick it with the fellas tonight like i said earlier, but instead i stayed home and kicked it with my little sister. we went to Huey's and got something to eat and had a good time. my sister and i aren't the closest that siblings can be(7yrs apart) but when we connect, we connect. and tonight was one of those nights. this little girl is going to change the world. mark my words. she is soooo much smarter than i was at her age. more outgoing more focused and just more prepared. i think, (well i know) that i was the practice child. i'm the oldest child on both sides of my biological parents and i didn't really get that,"you need to be doing this instead of that speech" i mean i got it, but that was it, and it usually came AFTER i eff'd up. i made so many mistakes as a child because the focus wasn't there on my end or my parents. i was too far for my pops to really do anything and when i was there with him, it was more like lets make up for not being there with gifts and money, etc. and as you all know already i don't have the best relationship with my mom. we never really had a real connection. even with all the stuff that happened with my ex this week, she blames me for my ex's actions and said that i was weak for her and i always will be. i'm like WTF???? Thanks for NOT saying something that would help me feel better about this crap. its bad enough i gotta hear my ex talkin to me crazy and now you are too. thanks for not being 24 mom.
*PAUSE* back to what i was talkin about......
so i had a talk with my sister tonight about being a responsible adult. i hate to hear parents say " you don't want to end up like..." and they don't even know the situation. they are on they outside looking in and i know my mom says that to her about me. in fact i hate to hear people say that in general. so i explained to her the reasons why i did some things in my past so she could see how it really happened. i explained to her why i moved back to new york, why i came to memphis, why my ex and i were always going back and forth. i explained to her why men do and say the things we say. i told her how and why its important to express her feelings honestly and truthfully. we didn't have "birds and the bee's talk" because there is more to adulthood than talkin about sex. i wanted her to see the BIGGER picture. i'm not that kinda older brother either. i'm more of a laid back, tell you what u need to hear type. tonight we had a great time. i don't think we've ever talked that long and not fight after wards. i think with time she and i will become closer as she gets older.
tonight i was suppose to go kick it with the fellas tonight like i said earlier, but instead i stayed home and kicked it with my little sister. we went to Huey's and got something to eat and had a good time. my sister and i aren't the closest that siblings can be(7yrs apart) but when we connect, we connect. and tonight was one of those nights. this little girl is going to change the world. mark my words. she is soooo much smarter than i was at her age. more outgoing more focused and just more prepared. i think, (well i know) that i was the practice child. i'm the oldest child on both sides of my biological parents and i didn't really get that,"you need to be doing this instead of that speech" i mean i got it, but that was it, and it usually came AFTER i eff'd up. i made so many mistakes as a child because the focus wasn't there on my end or my parents. i was too far for my pops to really do anything and when i was there with him, it was more like lets make up for not being there with gifts and money, etc. and as you all know already i don't have the best relationship with my mom. we never really had a real connection. even with all the stuff that happened with my ex this week, she blames me for my ex's actions and said that i was weak for her and i always will be. i'm like WTF???? Thanks for NOT saying something that would help me feel better about this crap. its bad enough i gotta hear my ex talkin to me crazy and now you are too. thanks for not being 24 mom.
*PAUSE* back to what i was talkin about......
so i had a talk with my sister tonight about being a responsible adult. i hate to hear parents say " you don't want to end up like..." and they don't even know the situation. they are on they outside looking in and i know my mom says that to her about me. in fact i hate to hear people say that in general. so i explained to her the reasons why i did some things in my past so she could see how it really happened. i explained to her why i moved back to new york, why i came to memphis, why my ex and i were always going back and forth. i explained to her why men do and say the things we say. i told her how and why its important to express her feelings honestly and truthfully. we didn't have "birds and the bee's talk" because there is more to adulthood than talkin about sex. i wanted her to see the BIGGER picture. i'm not that kinda older brother either. i'm more of a laid back, tell you what u need to hear type. tonight we had a great time. i don't think we've ever talked that long and not fight after wards. i think with time she and i will become closer as she gets older.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
happy thursday
hey everyone!
hows your day going? today has been real chill. no calls no texts no drama. i did get word that my ex tried to say some things to a friend and tried to flip it on me(again) but i figure this, if they don't ask me or realize she lying, then they aren't people i need in my life either. she's been sayin things to people about me for a min now. clearly i was out of the loop #kanyeshrug.....
*ironically, bring me down by kanye west is playin right now as i write this post
shout out to the big homie. today is his b day. i just realized that i'm the youngest of our crew and i love it! i've never been the "little brother" of my friends. i'm always Jonny Drama(for those that watch Entourage you know who i'm talkin about) so enjoy it for the kid and be safe! like you always tellin us. lol
sooo....let me update you all on my beard and hair process. i'm cuttin my hair tomorrow. the guy that was cuttin my hair keeps pushin my line back. i kept tellin to stop doin that. if you just pick up where last week hair is growing back thats all u have to cut. don't push it back. my beard is fine but i might trim it down for my interview so my new boss isn't scared. you know how white people get sometimes lol so thats all i have for now, i'm either going to rumba room tonight or bowling wit the fellas tonight. so i'll catch you guys on the flip side
peace&love
hows your day going? today has been real chill. no calls no texts no drama. i did get word that my ex tried to say some things to a friend and tried to flip it on me(again) but i figure this, if they don't ask me or realize she lying, then they aren't people i need in my life either. she's been sayin things to people about me for a min now. clearly i was out of the loop #kanyeshrug.....
*ironically, bring me down by kanye west is playin right now as i write this post
shout out to the big homie. today is his b day. i just realized that i'm the youngest of our crew and i love it! i've never been the "little brother" of my friends. i'm always Jonny Drama(for those that watch Entourage you know who i'm talkin about) so enjoy it for the kid and be safe! like you always tellin us. lol
sooo....let me update you all on my beard and hair process. i'm cuttin my hair tomorrow. the guy that was cuttin my hair keeps pushin my line back. i kept tellin to stop doin that. if you just pick up where last week hair is growing back thats all u have to cut. don't push it back. my beard is fine but i might trim it down for my interview so my new boss isn't scared. you know how white people get sometimes lol so thats all i have for now, i'm either going to rumba room tonight or bowling wit the fellas tonight. so i'll catch you guys on the flip side
peace&love
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
does that make me crazy? um no
so i was really about to take another day and continue on with the mess my ex is putting me thru, but like my sis told me last night, i'm the enemy to her and there is no way to get her to think otherwise. when i sent that message the other night i wasn't thinking because he's gonna pick her side. i wanted him to know the truth. I DIDN'T LIE ABOUT ANYTHING,BUT what reason does he have to believe me? why would he stop believing her when he can just keep gettin pussy when he wants from her? i wouldn't listen to the ex, especially months after she's been tellin me how "crazy" i am. i didn't really expect much after contacting him, i guess i did it just to see where his head was on all this and i guess its in her mouth (pun intended)and he's gonna do whatever he wants regardless of what really happened. so i'm just gonna leave it at that. but i will say this though, i must be the first of this new kinda psychotic ex boy friend that doesn't call his ex or make threats to her or her family, doesn't follow people on fb or twitter just because she talks to them to be considered crazy lol crazy ass girl lol
in better news.......
i'm going out this friday night, but its not a date. a friend and i are going to the movies after work. we haven't hung out in a LOOOONG time. in fact this is the first time in months that i will be seeing her. shes good people so its going to be a fun night.
oh PAUSE* ALL YOU GUYS SENDING ME TWEETS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT MY SITUATION, COMMENT ON MY BLOG!!!! LOL if you want to be unknown, it gives you the option lol
ok thats all i have for now, i'll be back later on tonight after i get off.
peace&love
in better news.......
i'm going out this friday night, but its not a date. a friend and i are going to the movies after work. we haven't hung out in a LOOOONG time. in fact this is the first time in months that i will be seeing her. shes good people so its going to be a fun night.
oh PAUSE* ALL YOU GUYS SENDING ME TWEETS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT MY SITUATION, COMMENT ON MY BLOG!!!! LOL if you want to be unknown, it gives you the option lol
ok thats all i have for now, i'll be back later on tonight after i get off.
peace&love
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
delusional
SOOOO........
today was very interesting to say the least. first off let me say hello to my new follower. i didn't even know you knew i had a blog but you do now so welcome....
ok now, back to my day. it started off very wrong. i had a terrible pain in my lower back that caused me to miss my first class, but i got up and went to my 2nd only to find out it was canceled. waste of time and gas. so i go home and fix myself something to eat.......then you know who comes a crawling
last night after we argued via fb chat about about absolutely nothing mind you. i go to bed but i couldn't sleep. something was bothering me.....The guy she's been seeing this whole time.....i wanted to know the REAL truth about whats been going on. like i told you all b4, she was playin me this whole time pretending to be wanting to be with me and work things out and eventually getting married. so i did a little research(thank God for facebook) i found him. all this time, this was all i had to do. its funny, the things you think of to do AFTER everything is over with. so i sent him a message asking him if he knew what was going on. and if he did know, what all didn't he know. i also made it clear that i wasn't tryin to get her back at all and if she lied to me about her feelings then should would/could do it to him.
so she sees one of my tweets sayin that i was gonna get revenge. poor choice of words on my end but i really wasn't trying to. i just wanted to get to the bottom of this. oh, and then come to find out she sent a friend of mine a message on facebook(3pages worth) on EVERYTHING that she and i have been through. i guess she did it to make the girl stop talkin to me. but my friend and i are cool. well, we will be. i kinda doubted her a little and didn't think about things from her view, but i will handle all that tomorrow......back to the story tho. so my ex is textin me threatening to call my future employer and tell them things to get them to not hire me. so i told her what i did and i guess she thought i was playing. oh wait get this, she tried to make it seem like I was the one that was trying to get back together and trying to make this work, um no babe. that was ALLLLL you.she called me at 4am(i have phone records) begging me to work things out, and for me to forgive her for what she did wit my homie, and askin me to me marry her(exact words:" i love you so much baby. lets get married tomorrow downtown") begged me to come meet her at wafflehouse so we could talk. so i was just like eff this. i'm not the one thats lying about this so i stopped texting her. she then came back at me and said that her and ol boy already talked about things and that he knew everything. well obviously he didn't know everything because he asked me questions that she had been lying about. she was telling him i was the one that was in denial and that she had been told me that she was over me and that i was delusional about our relationship. now guys, come on now. seriously. so i told him the truth and i gave him my number and to call me whenever he wanted to discuss ANYTHING that had been going on. the harassing texts and threats continued and she even called my mother and told her that i was tryin to sabotage her life.......blank stare.......BUT I'M PSYCHOTIC????
#GETTHEFUCKOUTTAHERE!!!
so i haven't actually heard anything else about anything from him. idk if she got a hold to him and got her lies through to him or if he realized that this wasn't the type of girl he needs in his life. but honestly i don't care. like i'm sooo ready for this to be over with. its amazing how when you let something go,and your all the way ready to, how nothing phases you. i told her that i hated her, but i don't. i said lots of mean things i shouldn't have said. but i said them and i regret it. i just want this to be over. i want her to leave me alone, i will obviously do the same, and go our own ways. i don't think thats too much to ask for.
what you guys think?
today was very interesting to say the least. first off let me say hello to my new follower. i didn't even know you knew i had a blog but you do now so welcome....
ok now, back to my day. it started off very wrong. i had a terrible pain in my lower back that caused me to miss my first class, but i got up and went to my 2nd only to find out it was canceled. waste of time and gas. so i go home and fix myself something to eat.......then you know who comes a crawling
last night after we argued via fb chat about about absolutely nothing mind you. i go to bed but i couldn't sleep. something was bothering me.....The guy she's been seeing this whole time.....i wanted to know the REAL truth about whats been going on. like i told you all b4, she was playin me this whole time pretending to be wanting to be with me and work things out and eventually getting married. so i did a little research(thank God for facebook) i found him. all this time, this was all i had to do. its funny, the things you think of to do AFTER everything is over with. so i sent him a message asking him if he knew what was going on. and if he did know, what all didn't he know. i also made it clear that i wasn't tryin to get her back at all and if she lied to me about her feelings then should would/could do it to him.
so she sees one of my tweets sayin that i was gonna get revenge. poor choice of words on my end but i really wasn't trying to. i just wanted to get to the bottom of this. oh, and then come to find out she sent a friend of mine a message on facebook(3pages worth) on EVERYTHING that she and i have been through. i guess she did it to make the girl stop talkin to me. but my friend and i are cool. well, we will be. i kinda doubted her a little and didn't think about things from her view, but i will handle all that tomorrow......back to the story tho. so my ex is textin me threatening to call my future employer and tell them things to get them to not hire me. so i told her what i did and i guess she thought i was playing. oh wait get this, she tried to make it seem like I was the one that was trying to get back together and trying to make this work, um no babe. that was ALLLLL you.she called me at 4am(i have phone records) begging me to work things out, and for me to forgive her for what she did wit my homie, and askin me to me marry her(exact words:" i love you so much baby. lets get married tomorrow downtown") begged me to come meet her at wafflehouse so we could talk. so i was just like eff this. i'm not the one thats lying about this so i stopped texting her. she then came back at me and said that her and ol boy already talked about things and that he knew everything. well obviously he didn't know everything because he asked me questions that she had been lying about. she was telling him i was the one that was in denial and that she had been told me that she was over me and that i was delusional about our relationship. now guys, come on now. seriously. so i told him the truth and i gave him my number and to call me whenever he wanted to discuss ANYTHING that had been going on. the harassing texts and threats continued and she even called my mother and told her that i was tryin to sabotage her life.......blank stare.......BUT I'M PSYCHOTIC????
#GETTHEFUCKOUTTAHERE!!!
so i haven't actually heard anything else about anything from him. idk if she got a hold to him and got her lies through to him or if he realized that this wasn't the type of girl he needs in his life. but honestly i don't care. like i'm sooo ready for this to be over with. its amazing how when you let something go,and your all the way ready to, how nothing phases you. i told her that i hated her, but i don't. i said lots of mean things i shouldn't have said. but i said them and i regret it. i just want this to be over. i want her to leave me alone, i will obviously do the same, and go our own ways. i don't think thats too much to ask for.
what you guys think?
thank you, new job, and sleep
wassup everyone!
first i wanna say hello to my new follower! get to writing in that blog homie! no excuses lol,
today was a great day!!i found out that i got the job and that my new boss is coming to town to meet with me and discuss my pay and to give me more details on my job i can't wait! things are really starting to roll! thank you thank you thank you all for your support and comments on my previous post. i know that you guys were prolly getting tired of me babbling about my ex, especially after everything came out about what she's been doing. i also found out more stuff after i posted the blog last night and it just confirmed even more that shes definetely not the woman i want or deserve. just thinkin about it gets me a little upset, but it is what it is. today she texted me and i fell into an hour and a half back and forth text war, but i figured that would come sooner or later but i'm still focused y'all. no worries.
oh* how you guys feelin the music i posted on here? if u all don't like it just tell me to get rid of it and i will. although i just got a text from one of my readers sayin how they like a song on the list. shout out to my homie for the love lol (is that better??? lol )
i have more i wanna say but i'm too sleepy, baxter is runnin around the room full speed getting on my LAST nerve and i have to get up for class in the morning so i will finish up tomorrow.
peace&love
first i wanna say hello to my new follower! get to writing in that blog homie! no excuses lol,
today was a great day!!i found out that i got the job and that my new boss is coming to town to meet with me and discuss my pay and to give me more details on my job i can't wait! things are really starting to roll! thank you thank you thank you all for your support and comments on my previous post. i know that you guys were prolly getting tired of me babbling about my ex, especially after everything came out about what she's been doing. i also found out more stuff after i posted the blog last night and it just confirmed even more that shes definetely not the woman i want or deserve. just thinkin about it gets me a little upset, but it is what it is. today she texted me and i fell into an hour and a half back and forth text war, but i figured that would come sooner or later but i'm still focused y'all. no worries.
oh* how you guys feelin the music i posted on here? if u all don't like it just tell me to get rid of it and i will. although i just got a text from one of my readers sayin how they like a song on the list. shout out to my homie for the love lol (is that better??? lol )
i have more i wanna say but i'm too sleepy, baxter is runnin around the room full speed getting on my LAST nerve and i have to get up for class in the morning so i will finish up tomorrow.
peace&love
Monday, November 16, 2009
the final chapter
ok so i have to apologize
last night was something not in the norm for me. i let something get to me that i shouldn't have. last night i called my ex and it was the best thing that i could have done. the thoughts and gut feelings that i've been having for the past 2months were finally revealed to me. i made my last plea and she denied,although thinking back at it why on earth would i want that i have no idea but anywho, we got off the phone. i got a little teary eyed. prayed and asked God to take this off my back and to help me focus on the things/people that i need to be focusing on. well this morning i woke up and i felt so much better. i got up mad early and went to church and i really enjoyed myself. it was meant for me to be there today. everything that was bothering me i left it were it belongs....behind me. i went to work and had a great day!
then the drama came........
so yesterday after i figured out what had been on my mind, i contacted a friend that i hadn't talked to in a while and i said some premature things that i shouldn't have and she calle me out on it which was granted. i did miss talkin to her and she said so too, but she knew that i was going thru back and forth feelings with my ex and she wasn't tryin to get back into that situation and i agreed. i wasn't/nor am i tryin to bring anyone into a situation that isn't resovled. so we decided that the best option was to just try to be friends which was perfect for me. so today we were tweeting and then outta nowhere my ex comes and starts going off talkin about "its funny how when she(my ex) "disappears" my friend and i are right back talkin. well i had my response and i told her its funny how when i'm out the picture, the same guy that she claimed she had no feelings for, she all of a sudden wants to be kissin and wants to plan a trip with him. so i was done with it. granted i shouldn't have entertained it, but i let one slip. so my ex proceeds to tag my friend and i in this long message trying to "out" me and the things that i said to her about getting back together and about how we lacked intimacy. when the whole time my friend and i are just tryin to be friends we aren't in a relationship nor are we tryin to be in one. but anyways before i could really read what was said, she makes her page private and proceeds to entertain her friends with our dirty laundry. at first it got to me a little bit, but then i was like eff it. i have nothing to say to her. if she wants to do this she can. its not in my hands and i'm not gonna get worked up about it. then she proceeds to text me and call me out my name and say that she bleached my clothes that she had of mine(btw i could careless because its only clothes that i don't hardly wear anymore) then a few hrs later she sends this text that puts the icing on the cake: U r a fuckin fool, I BEEN fuckin ____(guys name), dumb ass... she proceeded to call me a liar about what was going on with my friend and saying that i played her about what was going on. Now when i got this text i was heated, but then i remembered, i'm not doing this again. i wasn't wrong for reaching out to my friend. yeah i liked her, but i'm not tryin to get with her. like i told her, i missed our friendship. when she and i were talkin before i used to tell her all the time how much i enjoyed the way she talked to me. the way she got her point across without the yelling and screaming and profanity. talkin to her made me appreciate good chemistry. even today, she didn't fall into the crap my ex was throwing at her and i thank her for that.
guys you have no idea how much i DO NOT care about this crap anymore! but i blame myself. when i found out 2moths ago what she did with a friend of mine, i should have told her to keep stepping. but i didn't. and because of that, i allowed her to come back and here we are now. but i learned my lesson. never again will she ever get the chance of being wit me. she can continue to "fuck" that boy. i saved her texts and her words will forever be in my mind and i will carry them with me as motivation. my grind is extra hard. i'm more focused on my goals and plans and i will not stop until i get there. i knw that sounds corny but its how i feel. its crazy how you can have all these feelings for a person one week and feel nothing the next.
now lets be realistic about this, of course i still love her and care about her, but the want and desire to be with her or be near her, no longer exists. i do feel bad about not telling my friend the entire story about my ex, but in the begining i didn't see it going ANYWHERE and of course being around my ex and seeing her so much, those feelings came back so my feelings for my friend started to fade. i was wrong and i take full responsibility of my actions. but after hearing my ex say that she's BEEN fuckin that dude, like to say say this whole time she's been seeing and talkin to him, i feel like i needed that. i needed to hear the worse to move on but it is what it is now and have only one goal.....keep moving. i said this earlier today and i seriously meant it... ignore, delete and on to the next one.......
peace&love
last night was something not in the norm for me. i let something get to me that i shouldn't have. last night i called my ex and it was the best thing that i could have done. the thoughts and gut feelings that i've been having for the past 2months were finally revealed to me. i made my last plea and she denied,although thinking back at it why on earth would i want that i have no idea but anywho, we got off the phone. i got a little teary eyed. prayed and asked God to take this off my back and to help me focus on the things/people that i need to be focusing on. well this morning i woke up and i felt so much better. i got up mad early and went to church and i really enjoyed myself. it was meant for me to be there today. everything that was bothering me i left it were it belongs....behind me. i went to work and had a great day!
then the drama came........
so yesterday after i figured out what had been on my mind, i contacted a friend that i hadn't talked to in a while and i said some premature things that i shouldn't have and she calle me out on it which was granted. i did miss talkin to her and she said so too, but she knew that i was going thru back and forth feelings with my ex and she wasn't tryin to get back into that situation and i agreed. i wasn't/nor am i tryin to bring anyone into a situation that isn't resovled. so we decided that the best option was to just try to be friends which was perfect for me. so today we were tweeting and then outta nowhere my ex comes and starts going off talkin about "its funny how when she(my ex) "disappears" my friend and i are right back talkin. well i had my response and i told her its funny how when i'm out the picture, the same guy that she claimed she had no feelings for, she all of a sudden wants to be kissin and wants to plan a trip with him. so i was done with it. granted i shouldn't have entertained it, but i let one slip. so my ex proceeds to tag my friend and i in this long message trying to "out" me and the things that i said to her about getting back together and about how we lacked intimacy. when the whole time my friend and i are just tryin to be friends we aren't in a relationship nor are we tryin to be in one. but anyways before i could really read what was said, she makes her page private and proceeds to entertain her friends with our dirty laundry. at first it got to me a little bit, but then i was like eff it. i have nothing to say to her. if she wants to do this she can. its not in my hands and i'm not gonna get worked up about it. then she proceeds to text me and call me out my name and say that she bleached my clothes that she had of mine(btw i could careless because its only clothes that i don't hardly wear anymore) then a few hrs later she sends this text that puts the icing on the cake: U r a fuckin fool, I BEEN fuckin ____(guys name), dumb ass... she proceeded to call me a liar about what was going on with my friend and saying that i played her about what was going on. Now when i got this text i was heated, but then i remembered, i'm not doing this again. i wasn't wrong for reaching out to my friend. yeah i liked her, but i'm not tryin to get with her. like i told her, i missed our friendship. when she and i were talkin before i used to tell her all the time how much i enjoyed the way she talked to me. the way she got her point across without the yelling and screaming and profanity. talkin to her made me appreciate good chemistry. even today, she didn't fall into the crap my ex was throwing at her and i thank her for that.
guys you have no idea how much i DO NOT care about this crap anymore! but i blame myself. when i found out 2moths ago what she did with a friend of mine, i should have told her to keep stepping. but i didn't. and because of that, i allowed her to come back and here we are now. but i learned my lesson. never again will she ever get the chance of being wit me. she can continue to "fuck" that boy. i saved her texts and her words will forever be in my mind and i will carry them with me as motivation. my grind is extra hard. i'm more focused on my goals and plans and i will not stop until i get there. i knw that sounds corny but its how i feel. its crazy how you can have all these feelings for a person one week and feel nothing the next.
now lets be realistic about this, of course i still love her and care about her, but the want and desire to be with her or be near her, no longer exists. i do feel bad about not telling my friend the entire story about my ex, but in the begining i didn't see it going ANYWHERE and of course being around my ex and seeing her so much, those feelings came back so my feelings for my friend started to fade. i was wrong and i take full responsibility of my actions. but after hearing my ex say that she's BEEN fuckin that dude, like to say say this whole time she's been seeing and talkin to him, i feel like i needed that. i needed to hear the worse to move on but it is what it is now and have only one goal.....keep moving. i said this earlier today and i seriously meant it... ignore, delete and on to the next one.......
peace&love
Saturday, November 14, 2009
war of the hearts
today..............
today had so much promise and positivity going until i found out something(s) that i already assumed, but was finally confirmed. you know how someone says something about how they feel about you, but you know its bs and then when you find out that it was bs all along you just get so mad that you can hardly see straight? i have to admit. i was heated. i was to the point where i wanted to cry. not boohoo cry, but eye watery mad. i think that this another installment to the ever going saga called my life........guys i'm sorry but i don't think i'm going to discuss this one. i just deleted my ENTIRE entry. i'm not depressed or anything i just don't want to talk about it right now. after a long talk this evening with the big homie, i know what i MUST do. so instead of writing this long post, i will save it for the person that its directed to and one day soon they will receive it. not better yet, they will get a phone call. i actually feel a little better now but the monkey is still on my back, but its not a gorilla.
today had so much promise and positivity going until i found out something(s) that i already assumed, but was finally confirmed. you know how someone says something about how they feel about you, but you know its bs and then when you find out that it was bs all along you just get so mad that you can hardly see straight? i have to admit. i was heated. i was to the point where i wanted to cry. not boohoo cry, but eye watery mad. i think that this another installment to the ever going saga called my life........guys i'm sorry but i don't think i'm going to discuss this one. i just deleted my ENTIRE entry. i'm not depressed or anything i just don't want to talk about it right now. after a long talk this evening with the big homie, i know what i MUST do. so instead of writing this long post, i will save it for the person that its directed to and one day soon they will receive it. not better yet, they will get a phone call. i actually feel a little better now but the monkey is still on my back, but its not a gorilla.
happy mexican
Hey guys! I’m a little bored waiting for time to go by so I can go to work, so I decided to make a quick post and let you all know how my night went.....
Last night was my cousin’s birthday party at this restaurant called happy mexican. I went there one other time with my ex, way back in July I believe, so I knew that I was gonna have a good time……WRONG. We went to the one downtown and we waited for almost 2hrs to get a seat and by the time we sat down the waiter told us that the kitchen was about to close so we were all pissed but we still ordered something to eat so it was ok. As more and more people showed up, I realized that I was in for a long night. I don’t know if I ever told you all but my cousin plays for the OTHER team so of course everyone there did as well. Don’t get me wrong I’m comfortable in my own skin but when you are clearly…...what’s the word I’m lookin for…….outnumbered….. It can be a little uncomfortable. So luckily for me I ended up sitting next to this girl that wasn’t gay and we ended up having a good time. I hadn’t seen her since her car accident and she’s recovered well from it. I’ll have to tell you all the background on her and I some other time. It’s quite pathetic as my friends would put it Lol BUT anywho, so of course I had a beer with my meal and it was good. I ordered a chicken quesadilla. After I finished my food, I had some of this drink that my cousin had and it was STRONG!! It didn’t get me drunk but I was definitely feeling it. And it was at the moment that I realized that getting drunk is something that I will not be doing anytime soon. There were these 2 grown ass men there that were sooo loud it soon became uncomfortable to be around them and I kept thinking that I hope I don’t sound and look like that when I’m drunk. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I frown at everyone that gets drunk because that’s not what I’m saying. I believe that there is a time and a place for it. If I’m around friends at their apt or at my house, yeah I may put a few back, but I’m not going out in public and getting that drunk. Granted there will be exceptions but every time I go out? No. There comes a time when you have to take responsibility for your actions and start holding yourself accountable. There’s this guy that I know, and every time I see him when we go out, he’s’ always drunk. He’s a good guy, but he just drinks waaay too much. I’m not tryin to offend any of my friends that drink a lot but we have to start protecting our bodies. We are getting older. We are all at the mid-way point (25 or older) in our young lives and we have to watch the things we do. Same as smoking (you know who u are :-)). Ok so now I feel like I’m preaching. BACK TO THE DINNER……… so after we ate we were all supposed to go to this club, I wanted to go but I didn’t feel like driving to the club, so I went home and went to bed instead. So that was my night. Pretty dang exciting right? Lol
Peace&love
Last night was my cousin’s birthday party at this restaurant called happy mexican. I went there one other time with my ex, way back in July I believe, so I knew that I was gonna have a good time……WRONG. We went to the one downtown and we waited for almost 2hrs to get a seat and by the time we sat down the waiter told us that the kitchen was about to close so we were all pissed but we still ordered something to eat so it was ok. As more and more people showed up, I realized that I was in for a long night. I don’t know if I ever told you all but my cousin plays for the OTHER team so of course everyone there did as well. Don’t get me wrong I’m comfortable in my own skin but when you are clearly…...what’s the word I’m lookin for…….outnumbered….. It can be a little uncomfortable. So luckily for me I ended up sitting next to this girl that wasn’t gay and we ended up having a good time. I hadn’t seen her since her car accident and she’s recovered well from it. I’ll have to tell you all the background on her and I some other time. It’s quite pathetic as my friends would put it Lol BUT anywho, so of course I had a beer with my meal and it was good. I ordered a chicken quesadilla. After I finished my food, I had some of this drink that my cousin had and it was STRONG!! It didn’t get me drunk but I was definitely feeling it. And it was at the moment that I realized that getting drunk is something that I will not be doing anytime soon. There were these 2 grown ass men there that were sooo loud it soon became uncomfortable to be around them and I kept thinking that I hope I don’t sound and look like that when I’m drunk. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I frown at everyone that gets drunk because that’s not what I’m saying. I believe that there is a time and a place for it. If I’m around friends at their apt or at my house, yeah I may put a few back, but I’m not going out in public and getting that drunk. Granted there will be exceptions but every time I go out? No. There comes a time when you have to take responsibility for your actions and start holding yourself accountable. There’s this guy that I know, and every time I see him when we go out, he’s’ always drunk. He’s a good guy, but he just drinks waaay too much. I’m not tryin to offend any of my friends that drink a lot but we have to start protecting our bodies. We are getting older. We are all at the mid-way point (25 or older) in our young lives and we have to watch the things we do. Same as smoking (you know who u are :-)). Ok so now I feel like I’m preaching. BACK TO THE DINNER……… so after we ate we were all supposed to go to this club, I wanted to go but I didn’t feel like driving to the club, so I went home and went to bed instead. So that was my night. Pretty dang exciting right? Lol
Peace&love
Friday, November 13, 2009
took a few days off
so i took a little break from blogging these past few days because of 2 reasons. 1) i was lazy 2)i wanted to have more to talk about. let me take number 1 back. i wasn't lazy i was hoping to have heard from my interview the other day and i was gonna post a great epic monumental post lol but thats not going to happen yet... i got a call back today and she is faxing my information today because she lost my application. NAGL!! but i'm stayin positive and praying that i get this job. they are doing my background checks and i think they will be doing my reference calls as well. so i'm thinkin i got it because i don't have a record and i put good people down for my references.
the past few weeks i've been having trouble sleeping at night and having really weird dreams. i'll wake up at 4am EVERY night on the dot. and my dreams are either about a relationship issue or something really stranger or a mixture of both. and its funny because i swear i think that i'm not dreaming it and then i wake up. everything that i possibly thought about or wanted to change it was in the dream(s) but last night i didn't have problems sleeping at all. i slept through the night and didn't any problems. idk if its just because there was so much on my mind or what.
the other night i planned on going to this fashion show, but my job had other plans for me. i was just waking up from a nap and i got the call. granted i was pissed but the mission that was given me was great experience for me. but in the process i hurt my friend by not making it to the fashion show. every one that went said that it was great show and i really missed out. i hate that i missed it but duty calls sometimes.
as for my hair and facial hair goes....its still going. by thanksgiving you all will see it. i was going to post some pics up but i'd rather wait until its finished before i post any and i will let you all decide what looks better, the low cut or the curly fro and beard. tonight i'm going to my cousins bday party and i'm excited because its been a loong time since i actually went anywhere. so good times tonight and then its back to business as usual for the kid. well thats all i have for now i'll be back later, but if i don't, have a great weekend and be safe out there!
peace&love
the past few weeks i've been having trouble sleeping at night and having really weird dreams. i'll wake up at 4am EVERY night on the dot. and my dreams are either about a relationship issue or something really stranger or a mixture of both. and its funny because i swear i think that i'm not dreaming it and then i wake up. everything that i possibly thought about or wanted to change it was in the dream(s) but last night i didn't have problems sleeping at all. i slept through the night and didn't any problems. idk if its just because there was so much on my mind or what.
the other night i planned on going to this fashion show, but my job had other plans for me. i was just waking up from a nap and i got the call. granted i was pissed but the mission that was given me was great experience for me. but in the process i hurt my friend by not making it to the fashion show. every one that went said that it was great show and i really missed out. i hate that i missed it but duty calls sometimes.
as for my hair and facial hair goes....its still going. by thanksgiving you all will see it. i was going to post some pics up but i'd rather wait until its finished before i post any and i will let you all decide what looks better, the low cut or the curly fro and beard. tonight i'm going to my cousins bday party and i'm excited because its been a loong time since i actually went anywhere. so good times tonight and then its back to business as usual for the kid. well thats all i have for now i'll be back later, but if i don't, have a great weekend and be safe out there!
peace&love
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
hey guys.....
i'm wide awake tonight because i'm really nervous about my interview tomorrow. i really want this job. i want it because it could potentially be the boost i need to get myself going and progressing to the next level. the way i feel about things is that i can only go up from here and thats what i intend to do....
tonight i made a phone and i think that it was the best thing that i could have done for my current relationship woes. it was brought to my attention that by forcing something would be tryint to do things the aaron way and not the right way. and i......feel.....i feel like the right decision was made. i really do have to do things differently. its really starting to sink in for me. the words have to stop being said and they have to start doing. (by they i mean me) so i'm feeling ok. its day 2 and am making the right moves.
thats all i have for now, hopefully the next time you all here from me, i will have a new job!
peace&love
i'm wide awake tonight because i'm really nervous about my interview tomorrow. i really want this job. i want it because it could potentially be the boost i need to get myself going and progressing to the next level. the way i feel about things is that i can only go up from here and thats what i intend to do....
tonight i made a phone and i think that it was the best thing that i could have done for my current relationship woes. it was brought to my attention that by forcing something would be tryint to do things the aaron way and not the right way. and i......feel.....i feel like the right decision was made. i really do have to do things differently. its really starting to sink in for me. the words have to stop being said and they have to start doing. (by they i mean me) so i'm feeling ok. its day 2 and am making the right moves.
thats all i have for now, hopefully the next time you all here from me, i will have a new job!
peace&love
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
reaching out, riri and cb, my beard and song of the day
hey guys!
how are you all doing this morning? class is cancelled so i got some breakfast and decided to write...well lets get into it!
so last night, i decided to reach out to an old friend that i hadn't talked to in a while. i had been dreaming about this person for a while now(not like that lol) and it was just eating at me that we hadn't talked. i no longer have this persons number so there is no way for me to even contact them and we aren't friends on facebook or twitter so i just looked their name up and and i found them. we ended things on a bad note and i just wanted to know how they were doing. so i sent the message. didn't expect a reply but to my surprise i got one within minutes of sending it. my friend is doing very well. living in a different country and is enjoying every moment of it. just thinkin about my friend makes me smile because they deserve all happiness and success. i'm truly proud. it inspires me too, because if they can do it so can i.
lets see...what else........
everyone has been talkin about rihanna and chris brown with the recent interviews that they did. i honestly have mixed emotions about this because i've been in situations(not anywhere remotely close to that) that i wish that i could take back. i feel for her and her family. no one should ever have to experience that and chris had no right putting his hands on her. period. no man should that. i think that the reason that chris isn't speaking about it in detail like riri has because he doesn't have a reason to say why he beat her. like if i beat a girl up and she was coming out saying this and that about what happened, and i had a side to speak on, i would speak so loud they'd be tellin the kid to shut up. but chris doesn't have a side because he was wrong and there is no excuse and there is nothing for him to say. i think that he could flip this and actually change his image if he took this more seriously, was more open about it and actually spoke out about domestic violence. become a spokesperson for it and actually take responsibility for what transpired and not act like it wasn't a big deal( thats the feeling i get whenever i hear him speak) everyone is sayin its great timing for rihanna since her album is coming out and that its gonna boost her sales but i don't really care about that stuff. say what you want baby girl about it and move on with your life. i give her MAJOR PROPS for saying eff love. i know that was tough, as many times as i've said it, its harder than it looks/sounds.
so i've been tryin to grow a beard for about 2-3 weeks now and its not lookin the way i want it to. lol my hair is sooooooooo difficult. i don't have normal "good" black hair. i have hair that changes texture if it gets thick so doing the normal things that most men do i can't do because i'll look like an arab with a dark tan lol
todays song of the day is my new favorite singer Michael Buble. this song reminds me of James Bond opening credits lol enjoy!
how are you all doing this morning? class is cancelled so i got some breakfast and decided to write...well lets get into it!
so last night, i decided to reach out to an old friend that i hadn't talked to in a while. i had been dreaming about this person for a while now(not like that lol) and it was just eating at me that we hadn't talked. i no longer have this persons number so there is no way for me to even contact them and we aren't friends on facebook or twitter so i just looked their name up and and i found them. we ended things on a bad note and i just wanted to know how they were doing. so i sent the message. didn't expect a reply but to my surprise i got one within minutes of sending it. my friend is doing very well. living in a different country and is enjoying every moment of it. just thinkin about my friend makes me smile because they deserve all happiness and success. i'm truly proud. it inspires me too, because if they can do it so can i.
lets see...what else........
everyone has been talkin about rihanna and chris brown with the recent interviews that they did. i honestly have mixed emotions about this because i've been in situations(not anywhere remotely close to that) that i wish that i could take back. i feel for her and her family. no one should ever have to experience that and chris had no right putting his hands on her. period. no man should that. i think that the reason that chris isn't speaking about it in detail like riri has because he doesn't have a reason to say why he beat her. like if i beat a girl up and she was coming out saying this and that about what happened, and i had a side to speak on, i would speak so loud they'd be tellin the kid to shut up. but chris doesn't have a side because he was wrong and there is no excuse and there is nothing for him to say. i think that he could flip this and actually change his image if he took this more seriously, was more open about it and actually spoke out about domestic violence. become a spokesperson for it and actually take responsibility for what transpired and not act like it wasn't a big deal( thats the feeling i get whenever i hear him speak) everyone is sayin its great timing for rihanna since her album is coming out and that its gonna boost her sales but i don't really care about that stuff. say what you want baby girl about it and move on with your life. i give her MAJOR PROPS for saying eff love. i know that was tough, as many times as i've said it, its harder than it looks/sounds.
so i've been tryin to grow a beard for about 2-3 weeks now and its not lookin the way i want it to. lol my hair is sooooooooo difficult. i don't have normal "good" black hair. i have hair that changes texture if it gets thick so doing the normal things that most men do i can't do because i'll look like an arab with a dark tan lol
todays song of the day is my new favorite singer Michael Buble. this song reminds me of James Bond opening credits lol enjoy!
Monday, November 9, 2009
new followers, my day, and peace
wassup folks!!!
how was your day?
first i'd like to say hello to my new followers! feel free to comment (some have already done so lol) and say whatever u want as long as its not offensive or anything....well i take that back say what you want. we are all grown here. lol and that brings me to my next point. a few of my tweeple have started blogs of their own because of me and my blog. they thought that they couldn't get into it and they bloggin more times a day than me lol keep up the good work
*side note* if you like jazz and real chll music get MICHEAL BUBLE ALBUM. CRAZY!
today i had a good day. it was drama free for the most part and i got a lot done today. i got up and applied to some places before class and in between class today. i decided that i would blog more during this process so that i can actually see the change happening. i also want to apologize if i came off a little strong this morning. its just i'm tired of the way things are going in my life and i HAVE to change them.
i wanted to rant a little but its not even worth it anymore. if you keep your peace, they can't do anything but respect it and if they don't, so what! who cares. DO YOU MY FOLLOWERS. DO YOU!!!
and with that said, you all have a good night. i'm bout to finish listening to this Michael Buble and get something to eat and finish working on some financial plans.
peace&love
how was your day?
first i'd like to say hello to my new followers! feel free to comment (some have already done so lol) and say whatever u want as long as its not offensive or anything....well i take that back say what you want. we are all grown here. lol and that brings me to my next point. a few of my tweeple have started blogs of their own because of me and my blog. they thought that they couldn't get into it and they bloggin more times a day than me lol keep up the good work
*side note* if you like jazz and real chll music get MICHEAL BUBLE ALBUM. CRAZY!
today i had a good day. it was drama free for the most part and i got a lot done today. i got up and applied to some places before class and in between class today. i decided that i would blog more during this process so that i can actually see the change happening. i also want to apologize if i came off a little strong this morning. its just i'm tired of the way things are going in my life and i HAVE to change them.
i wanted to rant a little but its not even worth it anymore. if you keep your peace, they can't do anything but respect it and if they don't, so what! who cares. DO YOU MY FOLLOWERS. DO YOU!!!
and with that said, you all have a good night. i'm bout to finish listening to this Michael Buble and get something to eat and finish working on some financial plans.
peace&love
empire state of mind.
so late last night i had a talk with someone and it really hit close to home. everything was said, i already knew i had to do. there were points that were very painful but true. this isn't a post about me saying what i'm going to do, its just me doing me. taking care of aaron is my focus. one thing that i wasn't able to say last night was that, i've always put other people ahead of aaron's responsibilities. i'm a giving person its just how i've always been. i make sure that you are ok before myself and i can no longer do that. i hate to say this but i'm gonna have to be "aaron the asshole" for a while until i get back on my feet. and by that i mean i'm ignoring every person that isn't here to help or bring something positive to my life. and honestly i don't want your help either. it just is what it is. i deleted mad numbers last night. if you call and i ask who is this, its not because i don't like you or i'm removing you out of my life, well i slick am, but i just can't worry about other people right now. i just have to do the best thing for me and my future. i'm almost 25 and i have nothing to show for it. this isn't a feel sorry for aaron day or anything it just is what it is. i want to be successful just like everyone else. i've never done things the "normal way or the right way" i've always done it the aaron way and i can't do that anymore. growing up everything was so easy for me. i never had to work hard for anything and up until now, thats how its been. life is hard because of things that you neglect to do. if you don't take care of business it will come back to haunt you. trust the kid on this one, i know what i'm talkin about. today marks a new day in my life and i hope that this is the right way for me to go. again, i'm not gonna be some stuck up guy or anything, just don't step to me with mess. i don't have time for it.
thats all i got folks. i need to get ready for class......
peace&love
thats all i got folks. i need to get ready for class......
peace&love
Sunday, November 8, 2009
my escape
so i'm supposed to be doing this paper but i got side tracked by reading blogs and watchin this game. although i don't really care for either team, i just want dallas to lose. i eff'n hate the cowboys. sorry big homie but i just don't like them. #kanyeshrug
but anywho back to my point.....oh yeah the blogs. i love reading good blogs. they entertain me. they're sexual and put us( the readers) in a fantasy world that we can only dream of living.they say things that i want to say but i'm too scared to say, so i read them and i say "me too!! or yeah i want that to happen" to everything that they write. however, i'm at the point where i feel like i'm reading too many female written blogs. don't get me wrong ladies, u all keep me laughin and give me nice hints for my future relationship(God please send me that girl asap!! lol) i want to read more male blogs that say the things that these women are saying/doing but from our point of view. other than myself, and my homie, i don't know of any good male bloggers. i'm not talkin bout the ones that discuss fashion. those are cool but i can only take so much of that. i need some real macho type shit. like stuff i can relate to. if any of my readers know of any, hit the kid up and send me the link.
but anywho back to my point.....oh yeah the blogs. i love reading good blogs. they entertain me. they're sexual and put us( the readers) in a fantasy world that we can only dream of living.they say things that i want to say but i'm too scared to say, so i read them and i say "me too!! or yeah i want that to happen" to everything that they write. however, i'm at the point where i feel like i'm reading too many female written blogs. don't get me wrong ladies, u all keep me laughin and give me nice hints for my future relationship(God please send me that girl asap!! lol) i want to read more male blogs that say the things that these women are saying/doing but from our point of view. other than myself, and my homie, i don't know of any good male bloggers. i'm not talkin bout the ones that discuss fashion. those are cool but i can only take so much of that. i need some real macho type shit. like stuff i can relate to. if any of my readers know of any, hit the kid up and send me the link.
no sex, interview, and rambling
HEY!!!!
So, like I said this morning on twitter, I was gonna blog today. I woke up this morning feeling the urge to write. so here I am, finally after being with my cousins after church for 5 hours , I finally made it home.
*side note* if u haven’t heard Ryan Leslie new album check it out. Its really good
So guys I don’t know if I told you all, but I haven’t had sex since july and its really starting to get to me. I mean I’m not addicted or anything like that, but the kid REALLY is starting to feel the pressure. There’s a blog that I follow that I can only read during certain times because this writer has the kid feelin like jodeci lol. I told myself that I want to wait until I get into a relationship before I “end the streak” and it would be at least a month into the relationship that would want to think about doing it. Normally sex isn’t a big thing to me, because it always came with easy for me. I’d meet a girl and within days we’d be in the sheets. Even the young lady that I was dating this summer, whom I didn’t see myself being sexually active with until at least a month or longer within us dating, took all of 4 days I think before I had sex with her. But I think that the “pressure” is catching up like karma lol how that makes sense, idk but you all know what I mean.
Ohhhhhh yeah!!!!!
I got a call back for a job interview this Wednesday afternoon. I don’t want to say where yet because I don’t want to jinx it, but I will say this, its at a store that you would LEAST expect me to work at. I’m excited because I was really starting to get a little down about things and it was starting to show in my attitude……….. Last week in general was a bad week for me period. I lost my “friendship” and it hurt. I can’t cry about it now, just learn, own up to my mistakes and keep going. Speaking of which, I made my page on twitter private again. I have to stop letting randoms get so close to me. They have no place in my life.
This weekend I was supposed to go out and try to get my mind off things but I didn’t do anything this weekend. People cancelled and plans fell through, so I did nothing but think........ And think........and think........hopefully when I get the chance to do things, this time I won’t have to think, I will just do. I’m starting to ramble so I’m gonna stop now, plus the Giants are struggling lol gotta pay more attention to the game. I’ll be back later.
Peace and Love
So, like I said this morning on twitter, I was gonna blog today. I woke up this morning feeling the urge to write. so here I am, finally after being with my cousins after church for 5 hours , I finally made it home.
*side note* if u haven’t heard Ryan Leslie new album check it out. Its really good
So guys I don’t know if I told you all, but I haven’t had sex since july and its really starting to get to me. I mean I’m not addicted or anything like that, but the kid REALLY is starting to feel the pressure. There’s a blog that I follow that I can only read during certain times because this writer has the kid feelin like jodeci lol. I told myself that I want to wait until I get into a relationship before I “end the streak” and it would be at least a month into the relationship that would want to think about doing it. Normally sex isn’t a big thing to me, because it always came with easy for me. I’d meet a girl and within days we’d be in the sheets. Even the young lady that I was dating this summer, whom I didn’t see myself being sexually active with until at least a month or longer within us dating, took all of 4 days I think before I had sex with her. But I think that the “pressure” is catching up like karma lol how that makes sense, idk but you all know what I mean.
Ohhhhhh yeah!!!!!
I got a call back for a job interview this Wednesday afternoon. I don’t want to say where yet because I don’t want to jinx it, but I will say this, its at a store that you would LEAST expect me to work at. I’m excited because I was really starting to get a little down about things and it was starting to show in my attitude……….. Last week in general was a bad week for me period. I lost my “friendship” and it hurt. I can’t cry about it now, just learn, own up to my mistakes and keep going. Speaking of which, I made my page on twitter private again. I have to stop letting randoms get so close to me. They have no place in my life.
This weekend I was supposed to go out and try to get my mind off things but I didn’t do anything this weekend. People cancelled and plans fell through, so I did nothing but think........ And think........and think........hopefully when I get the chance to do things, this time I won’t have to think, I will just do. I’m starting to ramble so I’m gonna stop now, plus the Giants are struggling lol gotta pay more attention to the game. I’ll be back later.
Peace and Love
Friday, November 6, 2009
wake up to poop!
What’s good everyone! It’s the weekend!!!
So I’m up mad early today because of my dumb ass and my dog‘s poopy ass! So I wake up at like 6 something this morning to see my dogs head at the edge of my bed. I look to a little further and I see 2 piles of grown man type poop on the floor. So I jump up and go clean it up.*mind you, I’m half sleep* I go to the bathroom and I grab some paper towels (you guys can see where this is going right) and start picking up the poop and cleaning my carpet. Well like a dumb ass, I drop the poop and the paper towels in the toilet and proceed to flush………………WATER GOES EVERYWHERE!! So now I’m like WTF am I gonna do??? THEN I HEAR WATER HITTING THE FLOOR……..DOWNSTAIRS!!!!!!!!!!
So I turn the toilet off and run downstairs to see the damage. it was coming out of the light fixture in the kitchen. I get a bucket to catch the water (*side note* my dog is running full speed around the house like a freakin idiot!!!) The water stops and I look at the damage. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was gonna be. There’s a small water spot on the ceiling and the rug in the kitchen is wet. I put the rug outside to dry off and I got all the water off the floor in the bathroom upstairs. Luckily the pipes didn’t back up and burst or anything. So I lucked out on that. And ALL this happened before 8am!!!! So I’ve had a great morning and now my dog is sitting here sleeping like nothing happened. Don’t you just love your pets?????(Chris rock annoying voice sound)
So I finally have an off weekend and I hope to get a few things done. I wanted to go to Nashville for TSU homecoming but I don’t have the funds and the person that I usually stay with is now married and I don’t think her husband would allow that #kanyeshrug. So I’m gonna stay here do what I need to do. First I have a paper that I need to do so I will knock that out tomorrow. 2nd, I want to go see that new movie precious too. I have to get back in single guy, not dating anyone in the foreseeable future mode so I will go check that out either Saturday or Sunday afternoon so I can get in for under $100. Damn movies are expensive SMH. I might even cook this weekend too! We’ll see. Oh and my homeboy is having a party tonight so I will check that out after I get off tonight. Hey, if it’s free, it’s for me! Lol
I told myself that I was gonna spare my readers of the constant writing about things happening with my ex. I have a feeling that it’s gonna be a long time before anything new develops with that, whether it be positive or negative so I’m just gonna lay off it. Whatever happens happens. That’s all I can say about that. However, having a female companion in the right situation always makes things THAT much better.
Oh and I think I will be getting another job soon. Hopefully as early as next week. I’m gonna see if an old manager will give the kid a job and I’m gonna apply to watch old people at night and I hear they make good money. I just found out that I got looked over Yet again with my current employer and its really starting to get on my nerves. I’ve been here the longest and I feel like it’s my time. Not displaying bitchassness of anything but it is, what it is……..
Well that’s all the kid has for now, I will be back Sunday or Monday for the weekend update or if anything happens, I’ll be back sooner. Hope you all have a safe and great weekend!
Peace&Love
So I’m up mad early today because of my dumb ass and my dog‘s poopy ass! So I wake up at like 6 something this morning to see my dogs head at the edge of my bed. I look to a little further and I see 2 piles of grown man type poop on the floor. So I jump up and go clean it up.*mind you, I’m half sleep* I go to the bathroom and I grab some paper towels (you guys can see where this is going right) and start picking up the poop and cleaning my carpet. Well like a dumb ass, I drop the poop and the paper towels in the toilet and proceed to flush………………WATER GOES EVERYWHERE!! So now I’m like WTF am I gonna do??? THEN I HEAR WATER HITTING THE FLOOR……..DOWNSTAIRS!!!!!!!!!!
So I turn the toilet off and run downstairs to see the damage. it was coming out of the light fixture in the kitchen. I get a bucket to catch the water (*side note* my dog is running full speed around the house like a freakin idiot!!!) The water stops and I look at the damage. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was gonna be. There’s a small water spot on the ceiling and the rug in the kitchen is wet. I put the rug outside to dry off and I got all the water off the floor in the bathroom upstairs. Luckily the pipes didn’t back up and burst or anything. So I lucked out on that. And ALL this happened before 8am!!!! So I’ve had a great morning and now my dog is sitting here sleeping like nothing happened. Don’t you just love your pets?????(Chris rock annoying voice sound)
So I finally have an off weekend and I hope to get a few things done. I wanted to go to Nashville for TSU homecoming but I don’t have the funds and the person that I usually stay with is now married and I don’t think her husband would allow that #kanyeshrug. So I’m gonna stay here do what I need to do. First I have a paper that I need to do so I will knock that out tomorrow. 2nd, I want to go see that new movie precious too. I have to get back in single guy, not dating anyone in the foreseeable future mode so I will go check that out either Saturday or Sunday afternoon so I can get in for under $100. Damn movies are expensive SMH. I might even cook this weekend too! We’ll see. Oh and my homeboy is having a party tonight so I will check that out after I get off tonight. Hey, if it’s free, it’s for me! Lol
I told myself that I was gonna spare my readers of the constant writing about things happening with my ex. I have a feeling that it’s gonna be a long time before anything new develops with that, whether it be positive or negative so I’m just gonna lay off it. Whatever happens happens. That’s all I can say about that. However, having a female companion in the right situation always makes things THAT much better.
Oh and I think I will be getting another job soon. Hopefully as early as next week. I’m gonna see if an old manager will give the kid a job and I’m gonna apply to watch old people at night and I hear they make good money. I just found out that I got looked over Yet again with my current employer and its really starting to get on my nerves. I’ve been here the longest and I feel like it’s my time. Not displaying bitchassness of anything but it is, what it is……..
Well that’s all the kid has for now, I will be back Sunday or Monday for the weekend update or if anything happens, I’ll be back sooner. Hope you all have a safe and great weekend!
Peace&Love
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
last night and song of the day
sup! (jay-z voice)
so last night after i posted that blog, got on twitter and SPAZZED!!! i shouldn't have taken it there, but i just had to get it off my chest. maybe i should have blogged about it instead, but sometimes u have to spaz every now and then. when i woke up this mmorning, i didn't feel bad about it because its over with, but it won't happen again.
sooooo in other news.......
i don't think i told u guys but the kid is going to be moving soon. where i'm going i don't know yet but i have less than 2 months to find out where. my mom told me that she was moving and wasn't gettin a place big enough for me. for those that don't know my background, i just recently moved back home 2 months ago and i have dreaded it. about two weeks ago almost she and i had a big fall out and things are still rocky in the house. i've been talkin to the homie and he's given me good advise on things to do and where to look. sometimes it's good to have someone from the outside lookin in help you out. u can over look things. i have complete confidence that i will land on my feet, i just hope i don't break anything.
i haven't done a song of the day in a minute so i guess i can have one today. i've been listening to stevie wonder today so here is one of my faves. hope u all enjoy
peace&love
so last night after i posted that blog, got on twitter and SPAZZED!!! i shouldn't have taken it there, but i just had to get it off my chest. maybe i should have blogged about it instead, but sometimes u have to spaz every now and then. when i woke up this mmorning, i didn't feel bad about it because its over with, but it won't happen again.
sooooo in other news.......
i don't think i told u guys but the kid is going to be moving soon. where i'm going i don't know yet but i have less than 2 months to find out where. my mom told me that she was moving and wasn't gettin a place big enough for me. for those that don't know my background, i just recently moved back home 2 months ago and i have dreaded it. about two weeks ago almost she and i had a big fall out and things are still rocky in the house. i've been talkin to the homie and he's given me good advise on things to do and where to look. sometimes it's good to have someone from the outside lookin in help you out. u can over look things. i have complete confidence that i will land on my feet, i just hope i don't break anything.
i haven't done a song of the day in a minute so i guess i can have one today. i've been listening to stevie wonder today so here is one of my faves. hope u all enjoy
peace&love
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wassup everyone!!
How was your week/weekend? I had a great post that I wanted to publish but I didn’t and I’m kinda glad I didn’t because it would have contradicted what I am gonna say tonight. So I guess here it goes….
Today after a back and forth battle for the past few days, my ex and I called it quits today and I’m feeling “different” about it. Honestly I had been thinking about doing this for a few days now but I wanted to make sure what I was feeling was right. I talked to a few people about it, a close friend of mine who is married and they basically said that I should have done it a long time ago when she came back into the picture. When my ex came back it thru me for a loop because of how much she said she was over me and didn’t want to be with me. I tried very hard to get her back but each time I brought it up, she ALWAYS turned me down so for it to happen I was kinda confused yet happy at the same time. Everything was cool at first but like before, it got bad. She hit a rough situation and I was there for her more than I thought that I was going to be. I enjoyed it. I liked her needing my help and I enjoyed helping her. She was my heart and I wanted only to be there for her. But I confused reality with fantasy.
I’ve tried hard to date other girls. But I just didn’t feel comfortable. Feeling like if I got too serious then she would come back, well this past time I learned that I can only look out for Aaron. There were a lot of things that I want to say but I have to keep certain things personal, but I will say this….affection goes a long way, so Show it. Men and women like it both equally. And with that said……… here I am……….alone……..again. I’m not lonely or sad. I just feel blank. That’s my time folks……..
Peace and Love.
How was your week/weekend? I had a great post that I wanted to publish but I didn’t and I’m kinda glad I didn’t because it would have contradicted what I am gonna say tonight. So I guess here it goes….
Today after a back and forth battle for the past few days, my ex and I called it quits today and I’m feeling “different” about it. Honestly I had been thinking about doing this for a few days now but I wanted to make sure what I was feeling was right. I talked to a few people about it, a close friend of mine who is married and they basically said that I should have done it a long time ago when she came back into the picture. When my ex came back it thru me for a loop because of how much she said she was over me and didn’t want to be with me. I tried very hard to get her back but each time I brought it up, she ALWAYS turned me down so for it to happen I was kinda confused yet happy at the same time. Everything was cool at first but like before, it got bad. She hit a rough situation and I was there for her more than I thought that I was going to be. I enjoyed it. I liked her needing my help and I enjoyed helping her. She was my heart and I wanted only to be there for her. But I confused reality with fantasy.
I’ve tried hard to date other girls. But I just didn’t feel comfortable. Feeling like if I got too serious then she would come back, well this past time I learned that I can only look out for Aaron. There were a lot of things that I want to say but I have to keep certain things personal, but I will say this….affection goes a long way, so Show it. Men and women like it both equally. And with that said……… here I am……….alone……..again. I’m not lonely or sad. I just feel blank. That’s my time folks……..
Peace and Love.
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