THE TALK(not really)

FINALLY!!! ITS FRIDAY!!!!

tonight i was suppose to go kick it with the fellas tonight like i said earlier, but instead i stayed home and kicked it with my little sister. we went to Huey's and got something to eat and had a good time. my sister and i aren't the closest that siblings can be(7yrs apart) but when we connect, we connect. and tonight was one of those nights. this little girl is going to change the world. mark my words. she is soooo much smarter than i was at her age. more outgoing more focused and just more prepared. i think, (well i know) that i was the practice child. i'm the oldest child on both sides of my biological parents and i didn't really get that,"you need to be doing this instead of that speech" i mean i got it, but that was it, and it usually came AFTER i eff'd up. i made so many mistakes as a child because the focus wasn't there on my end or my parents. i was too far for my pops to really do anything and when i was there with him, it was more like lets make up for not being there with gifts and money, etc. and as you all know already i don't have the best relationship with my mom. we never really had a real connection. even with all the stuff that happened with my ex this week, she blames me for my ex's actions and said that i was weak for her and i always will be. i'm like WTF???? Thanks for NOT saying something that would help me feel better about this crap. its bad enough i gotta hear my ex talkin to me crazy and now you are too. thanks for not being 24 mom.

*PAUSE* back to what i was talkin about......

so i had a talk with my sister tonight about being a responsible adult. i hate to hear parents say " you don't want to end up like..." and they don't even know the situation. they are on they outside looking in and i know my mom says that to her about me. in fact i hate to hear people say that in general. so i explained to her the reasons why i did some things in my past so she could see how it really happened. i explained to her why i moved back to new york, why i came to memphis, why my ex and i were always going back and forth. i explained to her why men do and say the things we say. i told her how and why its important to express her feelings honestly and truthfully. we didn't have "birds and the bee's talk" because there is more to adulthood than talkin about sex. i wanted her to see the BIGGER picture. i'm not that kinda older brother either. i'm more of a laid back, tell you what u need to hear type. tonight we had a great time. i don't think we've ever talked that long and not fight after wards. i think with time she and i will become closer as she gets older.