ex-citing

so today was an interesting day. a little random mixed with wtf and a side of i guess. my ex called me today. i know what your thinking here we go again but no. lol it wasn't like that. she was in the mall and wanted to see me. now my first mind was "if i'm so crazy and determined to ruin YOUR life, and i was making up the story that YOU told me" why do u want to see me? like if he's THAT much better than me. why do u want to want to see me? BUT instead, i played nice and i'm actually glad that i did because deep down....i wanted to see her too. we caught up on what each other were up to and whatnot. she said that she was happy for me with all the success that i've come across. we laughed a bit and then we hugged and she went on about her way. honestly i just want to know.....why? why today. after 7 weeks. is there a reason for her contacting me? has she not let go completely? does she want to be friends? or was it just a "i was thinking about you and i wanted to see how you were doing" thing. like i'm really confused. i just wish that i had more time to actually ask more questions. questions that are relevant to my feelings.... after todays talk, i could see us being friends......eventually. but not today or tomorrow or the day after that.....what do you guys think about it?.............

there was some other things that happened today but i'm not legally able to go into details about it, but just know that justice was served to 2 women today. i love my job and i do it well lol

well thats my time, i gotta long day tomorrow and i'm cooking for some friends when i get off so with that said, off to bed i go!

peace&love

weekend wrap up

wassup everyone!!!!

man i gotta do better about my posts. it's like i want to blog, but i'm so sleepy when i get off i don't feel like doing anything besides gettin in my bed and going to sleep. but FINALLY, i'm here and energized enough to blog. so whats been going on you all ask?......



work has been goin fine. its just difficult having a boss that doesn't actually live in the same state and having to communicate thru email and delayed phone calls. so i have to make certain decisions on my own that i don't have a problem making, but i would feel more comfortable having her around. honestly i think i'm just used to having to ask before i make a move when i do my "job" whereas now, i'm my own boss. its weird. i think i'm just rambling now...next subject

my weekend....


let me start off by sayin this, if you know me, you all know that i like to have fun and i'm always crackin jokes. i'm rarely in bad moods, and have attitude issues. so with that said let me continue...

i stopped by the 335 this weekend to hang out with some friends. i met another one of my followers which was cool. she's a bit loud lol but what black woman isn't lol jk jk she was drinkin so i'll give her a pass, ANYWHO, we are all playing this game and at first the game was going in favor to my friends on the other team. mainly because myself and my teammates have never played this game. i'm a competitive guy so, losing i don't take likely but its a board game so it really wasn't that big of deal, well one of my teammates started to get sensitive about the game and just went off on my like for NO REASON. like she was sayin " don't talk to me. and you takin this game too far." sayin how i was being too serious about losing and that i was jokin on her too much *yes, she's a grown woman btw * my response to her was as followed " i have yet to get mad at any point in this game. i was frustrated earlier because i didn't know how the game was played but at no point was i EVER mad" like how on earth could she even say that i was jokin on her too much, but she was crackin jokes on me the whole night. like don't come at me sayin i'm doing too much but you doin the exact same thing. the young lady that i had JUST met that evening, we were jokin like we've known each other for years. like no one said anything about each other crackin jokes on the other too much. we were having a great time laughin and playin the rigged game lol so i just left before i actaully allowed her to get me upset. from now on i just won't play with her like i do everyone else. it really bothers me when people do that. if u can't take a joke, don't joke with me. period. we are too grown to be having these issues.

i've been thinkin about changing my blog up. how i want to change it, don't ask. lol but i know i want to do something different. is it just me or does this holiday season feel like a regular month. it doesn't feel like christmas time at all. i mean i see the trees, lights, santa etc.. but it just doesn't feel right. idk if its because i'm single or if i'm not going to houston to meet my family or what. but it just doesn't feel like "christmas". maybe its because i'm older and my days of gifts galore are behind me. speakin of the holidays, i have NO idea what i want to do for new years eve. i wanna go to this event downtown but i hate going to holiday parties alone and being that i don't see myself taking anyone, i probably won't go. the other option is stayin at home in my house, listen to some music and sip some good wine and enjoy the fact that i have a nice home. i actually went by the house tonight after work and it looks really nice. all they have left to install is the stove and refrigerator and i can move in. i got a little teary eyed from the thought of how far i've come. there were times when i felt like giving up and take the easy road and move to houston and live with my pops, but with the help of "KI100 talks" wit the big homie, it helped me keep going. its people that i've known for years that didn't care or don't even know my situation. i've know big homie for a few months and he helped me more than ANY of them and i thank him for it. i feel like i really have an older brother, mature person to look up to finally.

i think thats all i have for now. i have another post to make but i'm gonna wait until after christmas before i post it. so with that said, merry christmas to you all and happy holidays! i'm sure i will blog on christmas eve or christmas so be on the look out for that..

peace&love

song of the day again and nothing to brag about

hey folks!


how was your day? today was cool day. i met my regional manager today. real cool guy. he told me that he was really impressed with my work so far and that the company has already made a great improvement since i've been there! POW!!!


my social life is...... awkward. everyday someone different is either doin something to get themselves removed or something good to get themselves "in". i'm not really sure how to take it honestly. its not like i'm tryin to date them or anything, its just funny how you meet people. #randomthought

i really don't have anything else to talk about. well i do, but its not really worth bloggin about.oh! wait! pause* the crush is crushed. no longer feelin it. isn't it funny how you get to know your crushes and you become completely turned off? its like all i want you to do is look cute. don't talk tho lol......

i haven't done a song of the day in a long time and since my lil big sister been beggin me to go back to that, instead of having music played automatically, here's the song of the day. its 50cent new song "just a little bit". i heard him perform it last night on some show and i really like it....well the hook and the instrumentals lol 50 rappin skills aren't what they used to be. but all that aside, i get the point he was tryin to make with this song. its a question that at some point in a past relationship we wish we could ask the person....do you think about me? i feel ya 50, i've been there lol so with that said, enjoy the song

peace and love

new job, cute youngin, rain, 335, fox&hound and everything else

yo yo yo!!!!
how are u guys?????? did u miss me???

i am soooooo sorry i have been MIA lately on my blog but i've been so busy i just haven't been able to do anything but work, work, work. but tonight i said i wasn't going to sleep until i updated my readers on my life. thank you for the harassing tweets, texts, and comments asking me when i was gonna blog again.lol so here it goes


first things first.....the new job

so, i really love/hate my new job. i love it because of the environment and the location. i have met some really interesting people in short 2weeks that i have been here. i'm the only guy that works there and i love it. i'm like the big brother to younger girls and the older women i'm like a son to them. they constantly come and check up on me when i'm talkin to girls at work tellin me "she not the one
or "u better not call that girl" and my reply EVERYTIME is "i'd never do a thing like that. i'm only about the sales." this past weekend, the store manager was in awe of the many women that were tryin to talk to me. oh and i work with mainly white women. like white white women lol they are so funny. they try to dance and rap and they sound so terrible and they have such open discussions abo ut EVERYTHING and i'm like "do u guys realize that i'm standing RIGHT HERE!!" lol there's a few black women that work there too. but they don't act white, these some real black women. lol but the reason why i said that i hate it is that i really have my work cut out for me at this place. they are expecting me to do my job and to do it well from day one. it was a little frustrating at first because it was soooo out of order when i got there, but i think i have it under control now. all i need to do know is to get some support from the DM to get me some extra freedom to really do my job. i have a lot ideas but i don't want to just jump in and change things without getting the OK before i do it. i'll get my chance to talk to her this week, so cross your fingers that i'm gonna be able to do what i need to do without gettin a NO answer.


so a few of you already know about the little "crush" i had on a young lady i met about 2 weeks ago. i had been wanting to say something to her for a min now and i actually had the chance to say something back when i first met her, but i didn't want to come off like i just met you but can i get your number. you guys know thats not my style lol. so i waited until i was ready. well this past friday, she and i got a chance to talk and get to know each other better. we didn't really get to talk about the things i wanted to because we ran out of time......lets just say she wasn't what i wanted her to be. not that shes a bad person but she has a LOT of growing up to do but all of that will come with age and i don't think that i'm willing to stick around for that. but i will say this, the girl makes me laugh like no other and i like that. so for now its just that, fun. we'll see where it goes....

my house!!!!!

i've been blessed to move into another house, but this time its mine! my cousin is going to live with me to pay half the rent. the owner of the house is charging me a great price that i couldn't say no to. i'm gettin new everything put into the house. its hard wood floors throughout the house, new stove, refrigerator, new washer and dryer. its a nice house and the best part is that i can afford to pay for the house, my car note and still live comfortably and be able to save money at the same time. i feel really good about my decision. the only bad thing about it is that i will be so far from my job and starting in February, my job should be paying me to drive to and from work so i will be saving more money with that too! i was going to move into this apt downtown that was going to charge me a little more than what i am going to be paying for the house, but why get a room, when u can get a whole house? we will be able to move in by the 25th and i can't wait!! so be on the look out for the invite to the house warming party. U MUST BRING A GIFT THAT CAN BE USED FOR THE HOUSE! NO GIFT #NODICE lol

social life......


last night i went out and got drunk lol for the first time in months. i went out with a few co-worker to this place by my current house called Rain. my ex and i tried to go there one night, but they already closed the kitchen down so we didn't get to actually go, but this time i did and i enjoyed it. i had a few beers and sake. a lot of sake. after we left there i finally made it to 335 lol and i had fun. i got to see my old high school buddy and i got meet 2(now 3) of my followers on twitter and i had a good time. i hate that my first time meeting them i was a little drunk but they were cool wit it. i also noticed something else while i was there, but i probably won't speak on it now. i will wait. most likely i won't even talk about it again besides now, but anywho, i had fun. after i left there, i met up with my co workers again and we hung out at this bar called fox and hound. this is where it got interesting. one of my co-workers share with me something that i was NOT prepared to see. it was rather interesting, but i know now*and i also already knew this*but last night confirmed that somethings are meant to just be left alone. i don't think that i will partaking in that lol but overall, i had a fun night out. i needed it. its been a while since i've actually hung out with anyone other than my dog so it was nice to actually hold a conversation. lol

so i think that just about sums it all up. i've caught you all up on pretty much everything...new job, new house, new friends. life is good. i can pretty much thank the good man upstairs for everything. i definitely didn't see things turning out the way they did, but i thank Him for it. well thats all i have. u guys can do what u do best...comment lol

peace&love

been busy folks

wassup folks,

i haven't forgotten about u all. i've been hella busy with school and my new job and other stuff. but i promise i'm gonna blog this afternoon or this evening after work. i have a lot to catch u a guys up on. so with that said, stay tuned......

peace

dreaming/thinking of you

i had a dream today about my ex. it was a pt2 to the dream i had the other night that i told u guys about. this time was different. she called me. we talked for about an hour i'm guessing; in the dream it was a long time.lol we talked about everything. EVERYTHING, from the day we met, to the day we talked for the last time. we laughed. didn't argue a single time. she said that she was surprised that i even picked up the phone. she thanked me for talkin to her and we hung up. then i woke up scratching my head like WTF???? kinda weird huh. funny thing about all this, i don't hate her. well kinda but not really......well, i don't hate her. i strongly dislike her for not being honest with me about her feelings for ol' boy and still "doing" their thing while she and i were "working things out". i can't lie and pretend that i don't miss her though. i miss her like crazy. her smile, her touch, her kiss. hell, i even miss her crazy ass dog......... but what i'm feeling isn't a missing her as in "wanting to be with her" missing her b/c i could never go back. my heart wouldn't allow it.

i planned on writing this long letter(sometime in the near future. a month or 2 or 3) to her saying how much i had changed and how wrong about me she was and that leaving me for him was the biggest mistake of her life, but now, honestly, its not worth it. i know how far i've come and how far i'm going. i've done more than i thought that i could do in this short period of time and i'm so proud of myself. i have a great full-time job. i'll be living in my own place as soon as the first of the year and i did it all within a 6weeks span. i don't need that closure from her. i just need to keep doing what i'm doing......moving on. yeah it hurts me that she's out having a blast wit that dude and i'm sittin here lookin at the 4 walls(while i lay awake at night not being able to sleep) in my room wondering when am i gonna find someone thats going to want to be with me for who i am. sometimes i wonder what shes doing. if she thinks about me as much as i think about her. but then i remember," clearly not as much as u do because you would have gotten something(text, call, tweet, fb message)from her to show that she does." but then i think to myself, "why does it matter?" i'm not going down that path again so let her do her. i haven't had the urge to call her. not one time. but i have had the urge to send "F YOU" texts when i think about things that i know she wasn't honest with me about and telling people false things about me and my actions as of late. i think to myself, "hey, she doesn't care, so don't look back homie. keep it moving." even if she were to call me, i don't think i would want to talk to her. not right now at least. i wouldn't know what to say..... maybe after i get a fine ass girlfriend and move into my place, tell her i'm filthy rich and i'm getting married.....yeah,then maybe so i can brag on myself like i'm 12 lol but i wouldn't want to do that either. i just want to happy and i'm headed down that path.......


if you are listening to the music being played, these songs are a few songs that i have been listening to during this time of "moving on". they help me on the extra sad days and the extra happy days. i have yet to reach the "happy medium" but with each day that goes by, i feel i'm getting closer and closer to that point and eventually i will be at a place were i don't think about her at all. these are songs that were recommended to me to help me get past this and it helps and i feel like its my turn to help my readers in need to know of these songs as well. i really didn't plan on going this far about this stuff in this post but i'm here now. thanks for reading.....

peace&love

Cheaters

whats good everyone!


i've had writers block the past couple of days but today i feel like writing for some reason. nothing specific on my mind, just feel like bloggin. well, i take that back. i read something the other day that really upset me and i wanted to just sit down and blog and just rant, but its not even worth it. i also came up with an idea to actually express my feelings and emotions lately i think you all will enjoy it. i just have to figure out how to put it on here lol


i wanted to talk about the tiger woods situation and cheating but i really don't feel like puttin that much energy into it. i tweeted on it and i think i made my point. although i do feel like sayin a little something about now so here's my thoughts on cheating....don't do it. its not worth it. been down that road 1 time and 1 time only. although certain people think that i did it multiple times, it only happened with one person and i regret it. i should have walked away from the relationship before i even entertained the "fling".

i've always been the good guy, honest and reliable; and in my last relationship, i turned into the bad guy. i wasn't honest with myself or my ex at times and it had a snowball affect on the relationship. now this last go round of our attempt to work things out, i will not put on myself because the same things that she complained to me about, she did. she wasn't honest with me from the jump, so thats something that she is gonna have to live with. but thats another blog for another day. CHEATING. people, how on earth can we say that we are ready for the " next chapter" in our lives if we are still doing the same crap that we've been doing since we have been in high school? u can't move forward and you won't move forward. if you aren't ready for the responsibilities that come with the relationship, don't get in one. keep doing your solo dolo thing and keep pushin. thats all i have to say, this is startin to irritate me.....PEACE&LOVE

thanksgiving weekend

Hey everyone!

Happy belated thanksgiving!! I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days now, but I’ve been so busy with work, school work and preparing for the transition from my old job to my new job. So with that said let’s get into it....

Thanksgiving.....


Thanksgiving started off very bad for me. I was alone with nowhere to go. My whole family left for VA to go to my cousins’ wedding over the weekend. My mother was here and her sisters but you already know how things are with us so clearly I wasn’t gonna be around for that. Sooooo ….i went to my friend’s house(s). The first house I went to was cool. I went to my home girl house and ate some really good food. Her mom and sister both were there hadn’t seen them in a few months so it was good to see them as well. BUT her boyfriend was there as well. Her boyfriend and I are cool but we had a “small” issue some years back. It’s been resolved since then, but it was still a little uncomfortable being there. Like she made one comment like, “remember that one time…..” but then she inserted a “but it happened a long time ago. Long long time ago.” And I’m thinking if you have to do that then clearly there has to be issues going on with me being there. But she invited me so I’m like hey, it is what is ya know. This happened years ago let’s leave it at that....So I left that house and went to house number two. I went to my homeboy house and I had a GREAT time. 4 of my homies were there and we had a great round table discussion about girls, girls, funny moments, twitter and more girls. I really missed having those talks. We, well mainly they did, discussed girls that are known for things other than their good looks. I had NO IDEA how many of the same people we all knew. Well, I kinda did, but it was good to confirm facts. The food was great too btw Lol so after 2hrs of laughs and jokes I left and went to house number 3….my best friend house. I usually go there every year for the holidays and I enjoy myself every time. His aunt is one of the funniest and bluntly honest women alive. I fixed myself a plate because I couldn’t possibly eat another morsel of food. Lol we attempted to see a movie but it was sold out and the next showing wasn’t until 2hrs later and we didn’t feel like waiting. So in all I had a good day. It took my mind off of things and I enjoyed myself. Honestly it was hard for me spending thanksgiving alone this year without my ex. Thanksgiving was our first holiday that we spent together and it brought back memories.....


Speaking of her, I had a really weird dream about her last night. I dreamt that we were on the phone but I was the only one talking. She said 3 maybe 4 words, and that’s all she said. Like it was one of those “I’ll let you talk the whole time, just get it over with” conversations. I’m not gonna go into detail about what I think it meant, but I do feel like it was a sign of recent events on how things are/were between us. To add on to this, I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately. I sleep for 3hrs and I wake up. Then I’m up for 2hrs then I fall back to sleep for 2hrs then I wake up again. I really couldn’t tell you the last time I actually slept through the night. I’m not sure what exactly it means for sure, but I have a feeling that this has a small part in all this. There’s more I want to add on to this, but I’m waiting until I get some things in order first before I have the “final thoughts” on this topic. If you guys have opinions on it feel free to comment.


I really feel like talking about it now, but I HAVE to wait...BUT any who....


Random though...you guys ever have so much on your mind that you don’t know where to end or begin? Well that’s how I feel now. I want to say how I feel. I want to say what I want, I want to scream..BUT I don’t know how to properly express it without sounding like I’m rambling. i have some kinda feeling but i don't know what it is, So I guess I will end this post with that. *note* I’m not sad or anything so please don’t call or text or tweet me asking me if I’m sad. I’m fine; I just don’t know how to express my emotions right now.....

what they really want from a brotha??

so i was reading one the blogs that i follow and it got me thinking.....what is it that really want from a woman??????
i
i mean clearly i KNOW what i want, but the question is are YOU capable of giving it back? i hate the dating process. absolutely hate it. i hate the whole "holding back certain comments because she may not know that i'm joking" thing. i hate meeting friends and family that don't like me because i didn't do this or that the way they wanted me to do it. i couldn't tell you the last girl i dated and i actually LIKED her friends. lol i just want to know WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. i'm not going to pretend to like you, i'm not gonna gas your head up with lies or anything like that. just say, "this is what i want and if you can do those things and whatever else positivity you can bring is a plus". i want to meet a girl that gives me butterflies and makes me chase her a bit. i've NEVER in the years of dating had to chase a female. not a single one. i've never approached a girl. they always have came on to me first and i just went with it. if it developed into something, then great. if it didn't,thats great too. even my relationships, they always began with sex after first meeting. i don't want that in my next relationship. i want the real deal courtship. make me wait. make me chase you. hell, make me do anything besides pin your legs back within a day or two. lol

i'm not 100% ready to get back in the game, but i am up for a good game of 21. meaning i'm not trying to be with ANYONE right now but i will listen to what you have to say. i'm still nursing a few injuries but trust, i won't be out for long. i think last week sped up a LARGE portion of that, but its still a growing process that i'm workin hard to recover from. this post was a little random and i'm sure i contradicted myself a little but hey its my blog and i'm just thinking out loud. have a good day folks.....

peace&love

my weekend

hey everyone! how was your weekend?

my weekend was pretty cool. it sucked and then it got back cool and then it sucked some more and now its cool again. as u all know, i was suppose to go out friday night after work wit my friend, BUT like everything else in my social life, it didn't happen. i called her earlier that day and she said that she was gonna try and finish her paper so we could go out and she was ready to have fun that night. well, around 7ish i think, she called me back and said that she wasn't gonna be able to go because she was still workin on the paper and that she would be done by saturday so we could go saturday instead. so i was like cool no problem. i'm a firm believer in school coming first. besides, i would have fallen asleep on the movie anyways. so i went home and did absolutely nothing, well i wrote out my spending for the next two weeks and that was it oh, and watched star trek GREAT MOVIE!!!!

So, i wake up saturday morning and i'm like you know what, i'm gonna have a great Aaron day! So got up, made breakfast and looked at the times for som movies. i was gonna call my friend but i really just wanted to have a day to myself. i went to see Precious and New Moon. for those of you that haven't seen Precious, please please please go see this movie. its a powerful movie that you MUST see. at first i felt a little lame for seeing that movie alone, but who else was i gonna go see it with? Baxter??? lol it was great seeing sooo many people to see that movie. i expected it to be a few people there,but it was great seeing people support the movie. after i watched precious i walk right into new moon lol smooth transition. there were SOOOOOO many small children in there and i kept thinkin"this is a vampire movie regardless of the love story surrounding it" but white people do what they want,when they want lol not even 15 min in some 3 yr old starts cryin like crazy and they hadn't shown any bad stuff yet. lol i mean, why do that? why bring a small child into a huge dark room with surround sound with hundreds of people only to be walkin in and out every 10min because your child is crying. great way to ruin EVERYONE else movie experience and waste 10 bucks for a movie you won't get to see. New Moon was pretty good. i was surprised to see one person in the movie, but she did a good job the little bit she was in it. and i'm assuming the 3rd will be on its way soon. i was going to stay for a 3rd but i got hungry and spending 500 bucks for popcorn was out of the question so i left and got myself a pizza from Johnny Brusco's and went home and watched just chilled.

The only reason why i said that my weekend sucked was because........well, idk. it really didn't. i had a great weekend. i didn't have any beefs or drama or anything like that. i went to church this morning and it was a great message. so i actually had a great weekend. this week is going to be a great week. i can feel it. although, i will be spending thanksgiving alone because my entire family is going out of town, i'm still going to enjoy myself. maybe i will cook my own dinner this year or maybe i will go to jackson and eat with my cousin and his family. not sure yet, but

thats all i have for now, i have something else i want to discuss but i will probably wait a little while before i blog about it,but anywho....

peace&love

THE TALK(not really)

FINALLY!!! ITS FRIDAY!!!!

tonight i was suppose to go kick it with the fellas tonight like i said earlier, but instead i stayed home and kicked it with my little sister. we went to Huey's and got something to eat and had a good time. my sister and i aren't the closest that siblings can be(7yrs apart) but when we connect, we connect. and tonight was one of those nights. this little girl is going to change the world. mark my words. she is soooo much smarter than i was at her age. more outgoing more focused and just more prepared. i think, (well i know) that i was the practice child. i'm the oldest child on both sides of my biological parents and i didn't really get that,"you need to be doing this instead of that speech" i mean i got it, but that was it, and it usually came AFTER i eff'd up. i made so many mistakes as a child because the focus wasn't there on my end or my parents. i was too far for my pops to really do anything and when i was there with him, it was more like lets make up for not being there with gifts and money, etc. and as you all know already i don't have the best relationship with my mom. we never really had a real connection. even with all the stuff that happened with my ex this week, she blames me for my ex's actions and said that i was weak for her and i always will be. i'm like WTF???? Thanks for NOT saying something that would help me feel better about this crap. its bad enough i gotta hear my ex talkin to me crazy and now you are too. thanks for not being 24 mom.

*PAUSE* back to what i was talkin about......

so i had a talk with my sister tonight about being a responsible adult. i hate to hear parents say " you don't want to end up like..." and they don't even know the situation. they are on they outside looking in and i know my mom says that to her about me. in fact i hate to hear people say that in general. so i explained to her the reasons why i did some things in my past so she could see how it really happened. i explained to her why i moved back to new york, why i came to memphis, why my ex and i were always going back and forth. i explained to her why men do and say the things we say. i told her how and why its important to express her feelings honestly and truthfully. we didn't have "birds and the bee's talk" because there is more to adulthood than talkin about sex. i wanted her to see the BIGGER picture. i'm not that kinda older brother either. i'm more of a laid back, tell you what u need to hear type. tonight we had a great time. i don't think we've ever talked that long and not fight after wards. i think with time she and i will become closer as she gets older.

happy thursday

hey everyone!



hows your day going? today has been real chill. no calls no texts no drama. i did get word that my ex tried to say some things to a friend and tried to flip it on me(again) but i figure this, if they don't ask me or realize she lying, then they aren't people i need in my life either. she's been sayin things to people about me for a min now. clearly i was out of the loop #kanyeshrug.....


*ironically, bring me down by kanye west is playin right now as i write this post

shout out to the big homie. today is his b day. i just realized that i'm the youngest of our crew and i love it! i've never been the "little brother" of my friends. i'm always Jonny Drama(for those that watch Entourage you know who i'm talkin about) so enjoy it for the kid and be safe! like you always tellin us. lol

sooo....let me update you all on my beard and hair process. i'm cuttin my hair tomorrow. the guy that was cuttin my hair keeps pushin my line back. i kept tellin to stop doin that. if you just pick up where last week hair is growing back thats all u have to cut. don't push it back. my beard is fine but i might trim it down for my interview so my new boss isn't scared. you know how white people get sometimes lol so thats all i have for now, i'm either going to rumba room tonight or bowling wit the fellas tonight. so i'll catch you guys on the flip side
peace&love

does that make me crazy? um no

so i was really about to take another day and continue on with the mess my ex is putting me thru, but like my sis told me last night, i'm the enemy to her and there is no way to get her to think otherwise. when i sent that message the other night i wasn't thinking because he's gonna pick her side. i wanted him to know the truth. I DIDN'T LIE ABOUT ANYTHING,BUT what reason does he have to believe me? why would he stop believing her when he can just keep gettin pussy when he wants from her? i wouldn't listen to the ex, especially months after she's been tellin me how "crazy" i am. i didn't really expect much after contacting him, i guess i did it just to see where his head was on all this and i guess its in her mouth (pun intended)and he's gonna do whatever he wants regardless of what really happened. so i'm just gonna leave it at that. but i will say this though, i must be the first of this new kinda psychotic ex boy friend that doesn't call his ex or make threats to her or her family, doesn't follow people on fb or twitter just because she talks to them to be considered crazy lol crazy ass girl lol

in better news.......

i'm going out this friday night, but its not a date. a friend and i are going to the movies after work. we haven't hung out in a LOOOONG time. in fact this is the first time in months that i will be seeing her. shes good people so its going to be a fun night.

oh PAUSE* ALL YOU GUYS SENDING ME TWEETS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT MY SITUATION, COMMENT ON MY BLOG!!!! LOL if you want to be unknown, it gives you the option lol

ok thats all i have for now, i'll be back later on tonight after i get off.
peace&love

delusional

SOOOO........


today was very interesting to say the least. first off let me say hello to my new follower. i didn't even know you knew i had a blog but you do now so welcome....
ok now, back to my day. it started off very wrong. i had a terrible pain in my lower back that caused me to miss my first class, but i got up and went to my 2nd only to find out it was canceled. waste of time and gas. so i go home and fix myself something to eat.......then you know who comes a crawling


last night after we argued via fb chat about about absolutely nothing mind you. i go to bed but i couldn't sleep. something was bothering me.....The guy she's been seeing this whole time.....i wanted to know the REAL truth about whats been going on. like i told you all b4, she was playin me this whole time pretending to be wanting to be with me and work things out and eventually getting married. so i did a little research(thank God for facebook) i found him. all this time, this was all i had to do. its funny, the things you think of to do AFTER everything is over with. so i sent him a message asking him if he knew what was going on. and if he did know, what all didn't he know. i also made it clear that i wasn't tryin to get her back at all and if she lied to me about her feelings then should would/could do it to him.

so she sees one of my tweets sayin that i was gonna get revenge. poor choice of words on my end but i really wasn't trying to. i just wanted to get to the bottom of this. oh, and then come to find out she sent a friend of mine a message on facebook(3pages worth) on EVERYTHING that she and i have been through. i guess she did it to make the girl stop talkin to me. but my friend and i are cool. well, we will be. i kinda doubted her a little and didn't think about things from her view, but i will handle all that tomorrow......back to the story tho. so my ex is textin me threatening to call my future employer and tell them things to get them to not hire me. so i told her what i did and i guess she thought i was playing. oh wait get this, she tried to make it seem like I was the one that was trying to get back together and trying to make this work, um no babe. that was ALLLLL you.she called me at 4am(i have phone records) begging me to work things out, and for me to forgive her for what she did wit my homie, and askin me to me marry her(exact words:" i love you so much baby. lets get married tomorrow downtown") begged me to come meet her at wafflehouse so we could talk. so i was just like eff this. i'm not the one thats lying about this so i stopped texting her. she then came back at me and said that her and ol boy already talked about things and that he knew everything. well obviously he didn't know everything because he asked me questions that she had been lying about. she was telling him i was the one that was in denial and that she had been told me that she was over me and that i was delusional about our relationship. now guys, come on now. seriously. so i told him the truth and i gave him my number and to call me whenever he wanted to discuss ANYTHING that had been going on. the harassing texts and threats continued and she even called my mother and told her that i was tryin to sabotage her life.......blank stare.......BUT I'M PSYCHOTIC????

#GETTHEFUCKOUTTAHERE!!!

so i haven't actually heard anything else about anything from him. idk if she got a hold to him and got her lies through to him or if he realized that this wasn't the type of girl he needs in his life. but honestly i don't care. like i'm sooo ready for this to be over with. its amazing how when you let something go,and your all the way ready to, how nothing phases you. i told her that i hated her, but i don't. i said lots of mean things i shouldn't have said. but i said them and i regret it. i just want this to be over. i want her to leave me alone, i will obviously do the same, and go our own ways. i don't think thats too much to ask for.

what you guys think?

thank you, new job, and sleep

wassup everyone!

first i wanna say hello to my new follower! get to writing in that blog homie! no excuses lol,

today was a great day!!i found out that i got the job and that my new boss is coming to town to meet with me and discuss my pay and to give me more details on my job i can't wait! things are really starting to roll! thank you thank you thank you all for your support and comments on my previous post. i know that you guys were prolly getting tired of me babbling about my ex, especially after everything came out about what she's been doing. i also found out more stuff after i posted the blog last night and it just confirmed even more that shes definetely not the woman i want or deserve. just thinkin about it gets me a little upset, but it is what it is. today she texted me and i fell into an hour and a half back and forth text war, but i figured that would come sooner or later but i'm still focused y'all. no worries.

oh* how you guys feelin the music i posted on here? if u all don't like it just tell me to get rid of it and i will. although i just got a text from one of my readers sayin how they like a song on the list. shout out to my homie for the love lol (is that better??? lol )

i have more i wanna say but i'm too sleepy, baxter is runnin around the room full speed getting on my LAST nerve and i have to get up for class in the morning so i will finish up tomorrow.

peace&love

the final chapter

ok so i have to apologize


last night was something not in the norm for me. i let something get to me that i shouldn't have. last night i called my ex and it was the best thing that i could have done. the thoughts and gut feelings that i've been having for the past 2months were finally revealed to me. i made my last plea and she denied,although thinking back at it why on earth would i want that i have no idea but anywho, we got off the phone. i got a little teary eyed. prayed and asked God to take this off my back and to help me focus on the things/people that i need to be focusing on. well this morning i woke up and i felt so much better. i got up mad early and went to church and i really enjoyed myself. it was meant for me to be there today. everything that was bothering me i left it were it belongs....behind me. i went to work and had a great day!

then the drama came........


so yesterday after i figured out what had been on my mind, i contacted a friend that i hadn't talked to in a while and i said some premature things that i shouldn't have and she calle me out on it which was granted. i did miss talkin to her and she said so too, but she knew that i was going thru back and forth feelings with my ex and she wasn't tryin to get back into that situation and i agreed. i wasn't/nor am i tryin to bring anyone into a situation that isn't resovled. so we decided that the best option was to just try to be friends which was perfect for me. so today we were tweeting and then outta nowhere my ex comes and starts going off talkin about "its funny how when she(my ex) "disappears" my friend and i are right back talkin. well i had my response and i told her its funny how when i'm out the picture, the same guy that she claimed she had no feelings for, she all of a sudden wants to be kissin and wants to plan a trip with him. so i was done with it. granted i shouldn't have entertained it, but i let one slip. so my ex proceeds to tag my friend and i in this long message trying to "out" me and the things that i said to her about getting back together and about how we lacked intimacy. when the whole time my friend and i are just tryin to be friends we aren't in a relationship nor are we tryin to be in one. but anyways before i could really read what was said, she makes her page private and proceeds to entertain her friends with our dirty laundry. at first it got to me a little bit, but then i was like eff it. i have nothing to say to her. if she wants to do this she can. its not in my hands and i'm not gonna get worked up about it. then she proceeds to text me and call me out my name and say that she bleached my clothes that she had of mine(btw i could careless because its only clothes that i don't hardly wear anymore) then a few hrs later she sends this text that puts the icing on the cake: U r a fuckin fool, I BEEN fuckin ____(guys name), dumb ass... she proceeded to call me a liar about what was going on with my friend and saying that i played her about what was going on. Now when i got this text i was heated, but then i remembered, i'm not doing this again. i wasn't wrong for reaching out to my friend. yeah i liked her, but i'm not tryin to get with her. like i told her, i missed our friendship. when she and i were talkin before i used to tell her all the time how much i enjoyed the way she talked to me. the way she got her point across without the yelling and screaming and profanity. talkin to her made me appreciate good chemistry. even today, she didn't fall into the crap my ex was throwing at her and i thank her for that.

guys you have no idea how much i DO NOT care about this crap anymore! but i blame myself. when i found out 2moths ago what she did with a friend of mine, i should have told her to keep stepping. but i didn't. and because of that, i allowed her to come back and here we are now. but i learned my lesson. never again will she ever get the chance of being wit me. she can continue to "fuck" that boy. i saved her texts and her words will forever be in my mind and i will carry them with me as motivation. my grind is extra hard. i'm more focused on my goals and plans and i will not stop until i get there. i knw that sounds corny but its how i feel. its crazy how you can have all these feelings for a person one week and feel nothing the next.

now lets be realistic about this, of course i still love her and care about her, but the want and desire to be with her or be near her, no longer exists. i do feel bad about not telling my friend the entire story about my ex, but in the begining i didn't see it going ANYWHERE and of course being around my ex and seeing her so much, those feelings came back so my feelings for my friend started to fade. i was wrong and i take full responsibility of my actions. but after hearing my ex say that she's BEEN fuckin that dude, like to say say this whole time she's been seeing and talkin to him, i feel like i needed that. i needed to hear the worse to move on but it is what it is now and have only one goal.....keep moving. i said this earlier today and i seriously meant it... ignore, delete and on to the next one.......

peace&love

war of the hearts

today..............



today had so much promise and positivity going until i found out something(s) that i already assumed, but was finally confirmed. you know how someone says something about how they feel about you, but you know its bs and then when you find out that it was bs all along you just get so mad that you can hardly see straight? i have to admit. i was heated. i was to the point where i wanted to cry. not boohoo cry, but eye watery mad. i think that this another installment to the ever going saga called my life........guys i'm sorry but i don't think i'm going to discuss this one. i just deleted my ENTIRE entry. i'm not depressed or anything i just don't want to talk about it right now. after a long talk this evening with the big homie, i know what i MUST do. so instead of writing this long post, i will save it for the person that its directed to and one day soon they will receive it. not better yet, they will get a phone call. i actually feel a little better now but the monkey is still on my back, but its not a gorilla.

happy mexican

Hey guys! I’m a little bored waiting for time to go by so I can go to work, so I decided to make a quick post and let you all know how my night went.....


Last night was my cousin’s birthday party at this restaurant called happy mexican. I went there one other time with my ex, way back in July I believe, so I knew that I was gonna have a good time……WRONG. We went to the one downtown and we waited for almost 2hrs to get a seat and by the time we sat down the waiter told us that the kitchen was about to close so we were all pissed but we still ordered something to eat so it was ok. As more and more people showed up, I realized that I was in for a long night. I don’t know if I ever told you all but my cousin plays for the OTHER team so of course everyone there did as well. Don’t get me wrong I’m comfortable in my own skin but when you are clearly…...what’s the word I’m lookin for…….outnumbered….. It can be a little uncomfortable. So luckily for me I ended up sitting next to this girl that wasn’t gay and we ended up having a good time. I hadn’t seen her since her car accident and she’s recovered well from it. I’ll have to tell you all the background on her and I some other time. It’s quite pathetic as my friends would put it Lol BUT anywho, so of course I had a beer with my meal and it was good. I ordered a chicken quesadilla. After I finished my food, I had some of this drink that my cousin had and it was STRONG!! It didn’t get me drunk but I was definitely feeling it. And it was at the moment that I realized that getting drunk is something that I will not be doing anytime soon. There were these 2 grown ass men there that were sooo loud it soon became uncomfortable to be around them and I kept thinking that I hope I don’t sound and look like that when I’m drunk. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I frown at everyone that gets drunk because that’s not what I’m saying. I believe that there is a time and a place for it. If I’m around friends at their apt or at my house, yeah I may put a few back, but I’m not going out in public and getting that drunk. Granted there will be exceptions but every time I go out? No. There comes a time when you have to take responsibility for your actions and start holding yourself accountable. There’s this guy that I know, and every time I see him when we go out, he’s’ always drunk. He’s a good guy, but he just drinks waaay too much. I’m not tryin to offend any of my friends that drink a lot but we have to start protecting our bodies. We are getting older. We are all at the mid-way point (25 or older) in our young lives and we have to watch the things we do. Same as smoking (you know who u are :-)). Ok so now I feel like I’m preaching. BACK TO THE DINNER……… so after we ate we were all supposed to go to this club, I wanted to go but I didn’t feel like driving to the club, so I went home and went to bed instead. So that was my night. Pretty dang exciting right? Lol


Peace&love

took a few days off

so i took a little break from blogging these past few days because of 2 reasons. 1) i was lazy 2)i wanted to have more to talk about. let me take number 1 back. i wasn't lazy i was hoping to have heard from my interview the other day and i was gonna post a great epic monumental post lol but thats not going to happen yet... i got a call back today and she is faxing my information today because she lost my application. NAGL!! but i'm stayin positive and praying that i get this job. they are doing my background checks and i think they will be doing my reference calls as well. so i'm thinkin i got it because i don't have a record and i put good people down for my references.

the past few weeks i've been having trouble sleeping at night and having really weird dreams. i'll wake up at 4am EVERY night on the dot. and my dreams are either about a relationship issue or something really stranger or a mixture of both. and its funny because i swear i think that i'm not dreaming it and then i wake up. everything that i possibly thought about or wanted to change it was in the dream(s) but last night i didn't have problems sleeping at all. i slept through the night and didn't any problems. idk if its just because there was so much on my mind or what.

the other night i planned on going to this fashion show, but my job had other plans for me. i was just waking up from a nap and i got the call. granted i was pissed but the mission that was given me was great experience for me. but in the process i hurt my friend by not making it to the fashion show. every one that went said that it was great show and i really missed out. i hate that i missed it but duty calls sometimes.



as for my hair and facial hair goes....its still going. by thanksgiving you all will see it. i was going to post some pics up but i'd rather wait until its finished before i post any and i will let you all decide what looks better, the low cut or the curly fro and beard. tonight i'm going to my cousins bday party and i'm excited because its been a loong time since i actually went anywhere. so good times tonight and then its back to business as usual for the kid. well thats all i have for now i'll be back later, but if i don't, have a great weekend and be safe out there!

peace&love

hey guys.....



i'm wide awake tonight because i'm really nervous about my interview tomorrow. i really want this job. i want it because it could potentially be the boost i need to get myself going and progressing to the next level. the way i feel about things is that i can only go up from here and thats what i intend to do....

tonight i made a phone and i think that it was the best thing that i could have done for my current relationship woes. it was brought to my attention that by forcing something would be tryint to do things the aaron way and not the right way. and i......feel.....i feel like the right decision was made. i really do have to do things differently. its really starting to sink in for me. the words have to stop being said and they have to start doing. (by they i mean me) so i'm feeling ok. its day 2 and am making the right moves.

thats all i have for now, hopefully the next time you all here from me, i will have a new job!

peace&love

reaching out, riri and cb, my beard and song of the day

hey guys!

how are you all doing this morning? class is cancelled so i got some breakfast and decided to write...well lets get into it!

so last night, i decided to reach out to an old friend that i hadn't talked to in a while. i had been dreaming about this person for a while now(not like that lol) and it was just eating at me that we hadn't talked. i no longer have this persons number so there is no way for me to even contact them and we aren't friends on facebook or twitter so i just looked their name up and and i found them. we ended things on a bad note and i just wanted to know how they were doing. so i sent the message. didn't expect a reply but to my surprise i got one within minutes of sending it. my friend is doing very well. living in a different country and is enjoying every moment of it. just thinkin about my friend makes me smile because they deserve all happiness and success. i'm truly proud. it inspires me too, because if they can do it so can i.

lets see...what else........

everyone has been talkin about rihanna and chris brown with the recent interviews that they did. i honestly have mixed emotions about this because i've been in situations(not anywhere remotely close to that) that i wish that i could take back. i feel for her and her family. no one should ever have to experience that and chris had no right putting his hands on her. period. no man should that. i think that the reason that chris isn't speaking about it in detail like riri has because he doesn't have a reason to say why he beat her. like if i beat a girl up and she was coming out saying this and that about what happened, and i had a side to speak on, i would speak so loud they'd be tellin the kid to shut up. but chris doesn't have a side because he was wrong and there is no excuse and there is nothing for him to say. i think that he could flip this and actually change his image if he took this more seriously, was more open about it and actually spoke out about domestic violence. become a spokesperson for it and actually take responsibility for what transpired and not act like it wasn't a big deal( thats the feeling i get whenever i hear him speak) everyone is sayin its great timing for rihanna since her album is coming out and that its gonna boost her sales but i don't really care about that stuff. say what you want baby girl about it and move on with your life. i give her MAJOR PROPS for saying eff love. i know that was tough, as many times as i've said it, its harder than it looks/sounds.

so i've been tryin to grow a beard for about 2-3 weeks now and its not lookin the way i want it to. lol my hair is sooooooooo difficult. i don't have normal "good" black hair. i have hair that changes texture if it gets thick so doing the normal things that most men do i can't do because i'll look like an arab with a dark tan lol

todays song of the day is my new favorite singer Michael Buble. this song reminds me of James Bond opening credits lol enjoy!

new followers, my day, and peace

wassup folks!!!

how was your day?

first i'd like to say hello to my new followers! feel free to comment (some have already done so lol) and say whatever u want as long as its not offensive or anything....well i take that back say what you want. we are all grown here. lol and that brings me to my next point. a few of my tweeple have started blogs of their own because of me and my blog. they thought that they couldn't get into it and they bloggin more times a day than me lol keep up the good work

*side note* if you like jazz and real chll music get MICHEAL BUBLE ALBUM. CRAZY!

today i had a good day. it was drama free for the most part and i got a lot done today. i got up and applied to some places before class and in between class today. i decided that i would blog more during this process so that i can actually see the change happening. i also want to apologize if i came off a little strong this morning. its just i'm tired of the way things are going in my life and i HAVE to change them.

i wanted to rant a little but its not even worth it anymore. if you keep your peace, they can't do anything but respect it and if they don't, so what! who cares. DO YOU MY FOLLOWERS. DO YOU!!!

and with that said, you all have a good night. i'm bout to finish listening to this Michael Buble and get something to eat and finish working on some financial plans.

peace&love

empire state of mind.

so late last night i had a talk with someone and it really hit close to home. everything was said, i already knew i had to do. there were points that were very painful but true. this isn't a post about me saying what i'm going to do, its just me doing me. taking care of aaron is my focus. one thing that i wasn't able to say last night was that, i've always put other people ahead of aaron's responsibilities. i'm a giving person its just how i've always been. i make sure that you are ok before myself and i can no longer do that. i hate to say this but i'm gonna have to be "aaron the asshole" for a while until i get back on my feet. and by that i mean i'm ignoring every person that isn't here to help or bring something positive to my life. and honestly i don't want your help either. it just is what it is. i deleted mad numbers last night. if you call and i ask who is this, its not because i don't like you or i'm removing you out of my life, well i slick am, but i just can't worry about other people right now. i just have to do the best thing for me and my future. i'm almost 25 and i have nothing to show for it. this isn't a feel sorry for aaron day or anything it just is what it is. i want to be successful just like everyone else. i've never done things the "normal way or the right way" i've always done it the aaron way and i can't do that anymore. growing up everything was so easy for me. i never had to work hard for anything and up until now, thats how its been. life is hard because of things that you neglect to do. if you don't take care of business it will come back to haunt you. trust the kid on this one, i know what i'm talkin about. today marks a new day in my life and i hope that this is the right way for me to go. again, i'm not gonna be some stuck up guy or anything, just don't step to me with mess. i don't have time for it.

thats all i got folks. i need to get ready for class......
peace&love

my escape

so i'm supposed to be doing this paper but i got side tracked by reading blogs and watchin this game. although i don't really care for either team, i just want dallas to lose. i eff'n hate the cowboys. sorry big homie but i just don't like them. #kanyeshrug
but anywho back to my point.....oh yeah the blogs. i love reading good blogs. they entertain me. they're sexual and put us( the readers) in a fantasy world that we can only dream of living.they say things that i want to say but i'm too scared to say, so i read them and i say "me too!! or yeah i want that to happen" to everything that they write. however, i'm at the point where i feel like i'm reading too many female written blogs. don't get me wrong ladies, u all keep me laughin and give me nice hints for my future relationship(God please send me that girl asap!! lol) i want to read more male blogs that say the things that these women are saying/doing but from our point of view. other than myself, and my homie, i don't know of any good male bloggers. i'm not talkin bout the ones that discuss fashion. those are cool but i can only take so much of that. i need some real macho type shit. like stuff i can relate to. if any of my readers know of any, hit the kid up and send me the link.

no sex, interview, and rambling

HEY!!!!


So, like I said this morning on twitter, I was gonna blog today. I woke up this morning feeling the urge to write. so here I am, finally after being with my cousins after church for 5 hours , I finally made it home.


*side note* if u haven’t heard Ryan Leslie new album check it out. Its really good

So guys I don’t know if I told you all, but I haven’t had sex since july and its really starting to get to me. I mean I’m not addicted or anything like that, but the kid REALLY is starting to feel the pressure. There’s a blog that I follow that I can only read during certain times because this writer has the kid feelin like jodeci lol. I told myself that I want to wait until I get into a relationship before I “end the streak” and it would be at least a month into the relationship that would want to think about doing it. Normally sex isn’t a big thing to me, because it always came with easy for me. I’d meet a girl and within days we’d be in the sheets. Even the young lady that I was dating this summer, whom I didn’t see myself being sexually active with until at least a month or longer within us dating, took all of 4 days I think before I had sex with her. But I think that the “pressure” is catching up like karma lol how that makes sense, idk but you all know what I mean.

Ohhhhhh yeah!!!!!

I got a call back for a job interview this Wednesday afternoon. I don’t want to say where yet because I don’t want to jinx it, but I will say this, its at a store that you would LEAST expect me to work at. I’m excited because I was really starting to get a little down about things and it was starting to show in my attitude……….. Last week in general was a bad week for me period. I lost my “friendship” and it hurt. I can’t cry about it now, just learn, own up to my mistakes and keep going. Speaking of which, I made my page on twitter private again. I have to stop letting randoms get so close to me. They have no place in my life.


This weekend I was supposed to go out and try to get my mind off things but I didn’t do anything this weekend. People cancelled and plans fell through, so I did nothing but think........ And think........and think........hopefully when I get the chance to do things, this time I won’t have to think, I will just do. I’m starting to ramble so I’m gonna stop now, plus the Giants are struggling lol gotta pay more attention to the game. I’ll be back later.

Peace and Love

wake up to poop!

What’s good everyone! It’s the weekend!!!

So I’m up mad early today because of my dumb ass and my dog‘s poopy ass! So I wake up at like 6 something this morning to see my dogs head at the edge of my bed. I look to a little further and I see 2 piles of grown man type poop on the floor. So I jump up and go clean it up.*mind you, I’m half sleep* I go to the bathroom and I grab some paper towels (you guys can see where this is going right) and start picking up the poop and cleaning my carpet. Well like a dumb ass, I drop the poop and the paper towels in the toilet and proceed to flush………………WATER GOES EVERYWHERE!! So now I’m like WTF am I gonna do??? THEN I HEAR WATER HITTING THE FLOOR……..DOWNSTAIRS!!!!!!!!!!


So I turn the toilet off and run downstairs to see the damage. it was coming out of the light fixture in the kitchen. I get a bucket to catch the water (*side note* my dog is running full speed around the house like a freakin idiot!!!) The water stops and I look at the damage. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was gonna be. There’s a small water spot on the ceiling and the rug in the kitchen is wet. I put the rug outside to dry off and I got all the water off the floor in the bathroom upstairs. Luckily the pipes didn’t back up and burst or anything. So I lucked out on that. And ALL this happened before 8am!!!! So I’ve had a great morning and now my dog is sitting here sleeping like nothing happened. Don’t you just love your pets?????(Chris rock annoying voice sound)


So I finally have an off weekend and I hope to get a few things done. I wanted to go to Nashville for TSU homecoming but I don’t have the funds and the person that I usually stay with is now married and I don’t think her husband would allow that #kanyeshrug. So I’m gonna stay here do what I need to do. First I have a paper that I need to do so I will knock that out tomorrow. 2nd, I want to go see that new movie precious too. I have to get back in single guy, not dating anyone in the foreseeable future mode so I will go check that out either Saturday or Sunday afternoon so I can get in for under $100. Damn movies are expensive SMH. I might even cook this weekend too! We’ll see. Oh and my homeboy is having a party tonight so I will check that out after I get off tonight. Hey, if it’s free, it’s for me! Lol


I told myself that I was gonna spare my readers of the constant writing about things happening with my ex. I have a feeling that it’s gonna be a long time before anything new develops with that, whether it be positive or negative so I’m just gonna lay off it. Whatever happens happens. That’s all I can say about that. However, having a female companion in the right situation always makes things THAT much better.


Oh and I think I will be getting another job soon. Hopefully as early as next week. I’m gonna see if an old manager will give the kid a job and I’m gonna apply to watch old people at night and I hear they make good money. I just found out that I got looked over Yet again with my current employer and its really starting to get on my nerves. I’ve been here the longest and I feel like it’s my time. Not displaying bitchassness of anything but it is, what it is……..

Well that’s all the kid has for now, I will be back Sunday or Monday for the weekend update or if anything happens, I’ll be back sooner. Hope you all have a safe and great weekend!

Peace&Love

last night and song of the day

sup! (jay-z voice)


so last night after i posted that blog, got on twitter and SPAZZED!!! i shouldn't have taken it there, but i just had to get it off my chest. maybe i should have blogged about it instead, but sometimes u have to spaz every now and then. when i woke up this mmorning, i didn't feel bad about it because its over with, but it won't happen again.


sooooo in other news.......

i don't think i told u guys but the kid is going to be moving soon. where i'm going i don't know yet but i have less than 2 months to find out where. my mom told me that she was moving and wasn't gettin a place big enough for me. for those that don't know my background, i just recently moved back home 2 months ago and i have dreaded it. about two weeks ago almost she and i had a big fall out and things are still rocky in the house. i've been talkin to the homie and he's given me good advise on things to do and where to look. sometimes it's good to have someone from the outside lookin in help you out. u can over look things. i have complete confidence that i will land on my feet, i just hope i don't break anything.

i haven't done a song of the day in a minute so i guess i can have one today. i've been listening to stevie wonder today so here is one of my faves. hope u all enjoy

peace&love

Wassup everyone!!

How was your week/weekend? I had a great post that I wanted to publish but I didn’t and I’m kinda glad I didn’t because it would have contradicted what I am gonna say tonight. So I guess here it goes….

Today after a back and forth battle for the past few days, my ex and I called it quits today and I’m feeling “different” about it. Honestly I had been thinking about doing this for a few days now but I wanted to make sure what I was feeling was right. I talked to a few people about it, a close friend of mine who is married and they basically said that I should have done it a long time ago when she came back into the picture. When my ex came back it thru me for a loop because of how much she said she was over me and didn’t want to be with me. I tried very hard to get her back but each time I brought it up, she ALWAYS turned me down so for it to happen I was kinda confused yet happy at the same time. Everything was cool at first but like before, it got bad. She hit a rough situation and I was there for her more than I thought that I was going to be. I enjoyed it. I liked her needing my help and I enjoyed helping her. She was my heart and I wanted only to be there for her. But I confused reality with fantasy.

I’ve tried hard to date other girls. But I just didn’t feel comfortable. Feeling like if I got too serious then she would come back, well this past time I learned that I can only look out for Aaron. There were a lot of things that I want to say but I have to keep certain things personal, but I will say this….affection goes a long way, so Show it. Men and women like it both equally. And with that said……… here I am……….alone……..again. I’m not lonely or sad. I just feel blank. That’s my time folks……..

Peace and Love.

houston trip, intervention, and gambling

wassup everyone!


So, i'm back from houston and i hate it already. lol memphis is so boring and dead. i had a great time visiting my family. i had a long talk with my pops. he's getting ready to open his own business in January. he took me by his office and i can't wait for him to get it running. he deserves this and i am so proud of him. he's on this "i'm gettin older and i want to leave something to u guys when its my time" thing. i mean i get where he is coming from but i don't want to think about it. pops is 53. he's got a lot years left.

but anywho....


Pops really wants me to move out there. we went and looked a few schools in the Houston area. i liked them all, but after thinking and discussing it with michelle
(stepmom) we came to the conclusion that a move out there isn't whats best. really i said it, but she cosigned. so i decided that the best option now for me is to focus on graduating and going to a grad school that is in the area(s) that my major is needed most. mainly schools on the east coast and also one school in the south. right now i'm lookin at John Jay in NYC. I originally said that i wanted to move back to the east coast after i graduated but then i started thinking about if i'm in a relationship and if the move would be best for us. WELL, since i'm currently single and i don't know when my next relationship is going to come, i'm going to concentrate on whats best for aaron. and if i happen to be with someone when its time for my move, if she's the one, then she will also be apart of the move as well. i mean who wouldn't want to move to the big apple? but thats a long time from now. lets get a girlfriend first lol



today i had a talk with my mom about how she and i interact and it got real emotional for me. she will NEVER admit something even if she knows that she is wrong on and her excuse is its my house and thats how its going to be as long as u are in my house. now don't get me wrong, i do things that i shouldn't but i'm not purposely doing things to disrespect her. if i make a mistake i am willing to say "its my fault. i apologize." with her its "i don't remember saying/doing that" and thats not right at all. one thing that i do know, i will NOT raise my future child(ren) under that same philosophy. she is quick to say things about my dad about how he wasn't around for me as a child but i favor him or that i want to see him and stuff like that, but u don't say things like that to a young child. she also said other things but i'm going to go into it. but i will say this, if any of my readers have any kids, do NOT bash their mother/father in their face. especially if the child has a connection with them. regardless if you have a terrible relationship with them or not. its not fair. BUT BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING........Own up to your actions. i just recently learned to do that. i'm still learnin actually but i don't mind admitting when wrong.



lets see...what else....oh yeah!!!!


last night i went to the casino for the first time ever in life!!! i know i know i'm late but #dontjudgeme( lol for my tweeples) but it was really fun. i'm not big on gambling i only spent 3 bucks lol of course i lost it, but still i fun. i didn't get the games though. and what really baffled me was that the workers couldn't explain to u how to play the games. like what the heck is that about??? they couldn't touch anything. u couldn't even touch your cards and u have to motion with your hands on the table at that, if u wanted a hit or whatever the lingo is. lol my had a hot streak and won like 25 bucks but she got greedy and lost it lol it was fun. i wouldn't mind going back, but maybe with more money next time. lol good times



well thats all i have for tonight, holla at u guys later. until next time knuckle heads

peace and love

mess and other stuff

wassup!


so i've been having different feelings and emotions about my life and the people in it. u ever feel like hitting the reset button and start over? well thats how i feel. i feel like i have made certain mistakes in the past that seem to keep poppin up. not saying that i can't handle them coming back into play, its that i'm just tired of them coming back ya kno? and its because i seem to have the "hard to let go bug" i talked to my home girl tonight and she made me realize a lot of things that we can't control, but we can control the mess that we allow to come back.


i don't necessarily mean people when i say mess. i mean situations. i allow situations to reoccur. its like i see them forming but i sometimes entertain it because its what i'm used to and then i sit back and look at it like "dang, here i go again". i'm so glad i was able to come visit my brothers in houston. i was able to sit them down and discuss A LOT of my mistakes that i made with them. especially my youngest brother. he's slackin a bit when it comes to the real world and he's gonna be out there in a short few months and i really want him to do well. as for my other brother, he's gonna be ok. i don't have the same worries for him that i have with jon. david is gonna be fine.

but back to my point*

MESS!!!!!!


I'm going to start making a more conscious effort to do better. whether it be financially, socially or whatever the case may be. I feel like God is tryin to show me things that will take me to the next level, but i have to let this mess go. i mean, to be a black man in america is hard enough, but the added drama is not needed. i'm not depressed or anything about it. its just is what it is.


i was seriously going crazy back in memphis. having to move home and deal with mothers mouth about dumb, simple things WILL make you go crazy. come the first of the year(2010) if i don't get my promotion, i'm gonna have to start lookin for other employment. i cannot and will not continue being in the same situation i'm in now. part of being a man is standing up and doing what u need to do. regardless of how much u may not want to, u have to do it. cuz i'll be damned if my wife(pray i get married lol) goes and asks her folks for anything.

so my dad wants me to move out here like today. lol he and michelle(stepmom) feel like there are things that i need to learn by living here and that i would benefit from it. granted i do miss living with them, but i feel like i would be living a fairy tale if i stayed here before i finished school. i have bills and obligations that i need to take care of first. i have school to finish up and then i can move. i did find out that i have family members in positions that i could greatly benefit from them helping me out. i think that 6 months after me graduating i will be ready to move on to the next level of my adulthood. whether it be here in houston or anywhere else. which brings me back to my original statement earlier saying that i prolly wouldn't have made the same mistakes i made had i been living here with them, but who's to say wouldn't have made others......


thats my time folks
peace and love

song of the day

can't help but think of you when i hear this song

funk

i find myself really irritated with very small things lately, idk what it is but its really causing me to have arguments with people that i shouldn't have. i think that i am going thru a transition in my life where i don't want excuses. just do it. if u say your gonna do something, do it. i don't wanna hear i forgot or well, i didn't think u would____. i really don't have anything else to say. i'm just in a funk that i NEED to get out of.......

i had something more important to discus but i will talk about it when i'm in a better mood...hopefully tomorrow.


peace&love

"friends"

so i gotta admit, i've been in this funk for a few days now. its not anything that i did, but its from some things that were "revealed" to me the other day. a really good friend of mine told me something that he did and it really upset me....well let me take that back, it disappointed me because i would have never in a million years expect him to do something like this. i got some real low down "friends" but he wasn't like that. and what really made me mad was that not only did he lie to me about it, and hide it, it was the way he told me. he said it like...idk really how to describe it but here is his words "before her ass try to make it into some bullshit...."

so u guys see where i'm coming from right??


one thing that i know about myself is that i'm a very trusting person and i actually treat my friendships like they are suppose to. if my homeboy tells me something i keep it between us. if someone needs something and i have the funds to get it, i got u. hell, u can put me in a room with ALL my homie's girls and i wouldn't touch them. i don't cross that line. i guess its just a sign for me from God sayin that i need to watch who i call a friend. because...well honestly, i prolly can say that excluding the big homie, whom i just met btw, i can't trust 95% of my male "friends" i think thats why i don't have any real male friends anymore. my best friend is slowly lettin his life go to waste by not actually doing anything with his life and is still jobless and still smokes his life away. not sayin that there is nothing wrong with gettin high, but get a job first. my former college homies are ALL bums and liars. i had a friend whom i woulda did anything for try to fuck my ex on multiply occasions. not to mention he has 3 kids and only half way takes care of the first one(only because he's named after him)i just want positive people in my life. if it means that i don't go out or go to games with the "guys" or have to watch fights alone then so be it. but i'm not gonna worry about small things like this anymore. i've made it this far and i'm still going on. to my male friends that don't fit into this category, don't take it personal. i'm just sayin. the fake friend crap is over.

writers block

hey everyone!!1



how's your weekend going? mine has been really relaxing and very chill. i didn't go anywhere today and i liked that. i've gone out every weekend this past month and i enjoyed my fun, but sometimes its good to just stay at home. although next week i'm suppose to be hangin out with a friend but i'm havin mixed thoughts about going. he's an old friend, one of the few people i am still in contact with since i started college, but i will keep u guys posted.


*side note:i wish i knew how to put a music player on my blog so i could play music while u guys read my posts. but just to give u guys a visual i'm listening to Carl Thomas first album, "Giving You All My Love"*


back to the blog


i think i know what was preventing me from bloggin for so long. lack of inspiration. i had plenty to write about(LOTS) but i just didn't feel like the things that were going on was something that i needed to write about. well some of it was worth it, but i just didn't want to give that situation more power than it had, but in actuality i was by not talkin about it and lettin it build. well last night i had a talk with the big homie and he pretty much told me what i needed to hear. as u all already know, i have been going through this back and forth battle with my ex for months now and i think that its finally dead. like she did something the other day and it really pissed me off and at that moment, i said enough is enough with this. she knows what she's doin when she says(well text rather) the things she says. it was really random and when i tried to ask her about it, she replied"she shouldn't have sent me that message and that it wasn't her place to say what it is that she thinks that i am doing wrong." ok thats all fine and dandy, but don't initiate the conversation and then come back like oh i don't wanna talk about it,BUT something told me to check her twitter and sure enough, i found what i was lookin for. she can talk about me on there, but she can't tell me what it is thats bothering her. now u would think after EVERYTHING that we have been through, everything that i have recently helped her out with, she would have no problem at all. i mean, she has never been shy about speakin her mind, but today, she don't wanna talk??? if u guys knew what all i have done for her recently, u all would think that i was crazy for doing it. but hey, when u care about someone when they are at their lowest, u wanna help them. but all that is over with. whatever problem she has will be just that...hers. i'm not bitter or angry about it, its just not my battle.

i'm doing better lol

so i had this blog i had been writin since tuesday but i don't feel like writin it anymore lol



wassup everyone(i almost said tweeple lol)


so today was a really good day. i got outta class early today and went to Lemoyne Owen college to see my co-worker step. now this was the first time i ever been to a HBCU stepshow, so i was a little excited...until i got there. it was so damn hot in that gym was silly. like image being in gym class as a kid with no air on the inside and then add ALL the black people that go to that school. how was the stepshow u ask?? horrible. worst stepshow i'd ever been to. LOC has to be the most ghetto-est school in the history of college. they were playin basketball before the stepshow started!!WTDTA!!! so of course after they stepped, me and my homeboys left.


so what else.....


like today was a really good day. i did't have any major issues. it was really cool. talked to pops today. he's really tryin to make some moves for me. if it keeps up, i might be makin some major moves sooner than i thought and tht would be great.


my plans for the weekend....

notadamnthang!!!! lol i am gonna chill and have fun all weekend. i think my friends and i are gonna go out tomorrow and thats all i really have planned. oh and watch a lot of football.

*side note(blackstreet first album was a banger!!!!!!)

i wanna briefly touch on one other subject. i just wanna say that stayin calm during "random moments" really helps. today i got a text and it kinda pissed me off, like wth did this come from. but u can't make someone explain there beef with u. just take it and let roll and thats what i learned. i really am thankful for the people that have recently been put in my life cuz i been gettin all types of advise from their situations and it helps a lot. you know u think that u can stay calm but sometimes u need that extra voice that says "relax, relate, release friend"

peace and love ya'll

gone but not forgotten

hey everyone,


sorry i have been mia on my blogging but i just didn't have any inspiration to write. don't get me wrong, i have had plenty to write about, i felt like there weren't any words to describe how i felt. i did, however talk to the homie(whats good fam! how bout them giants) and he helped me get past my issue. i hate to keep talkin about it, but its like this is still a major part of my young life and everything that i do now, has some sort of effect on my tomorrow. i will say that i am happy with where i am now, and i am enjoying life.


lets see what else......


i went to the Erykah Badu concert a few weeks ago and i had a good time. i also met some of my twitter friends that night too. speaking of twitter, the crew, these guys are my homies. even tho they are all alcoholics, i love em. i also went to the classic last weekend too. it was fun, got drunk(shout out to busyB) AND got more drunk. lol

oh, i forgot to tell u guys, i'm going to houston next month. i'm really serious about gettin outta memphis. i'm going for my fall break and i can't wait. i'm gonna go look at some schools for grad school and i'm also gonna get to spend some time with my pops too. can't wait for that. remember a few entries ago when i said that there was something that i wanted to discuss but i wasn't really ready to discuss it? well i'm still not ready but it has something to do with my trip to houston too. when i get back from texas i will tell u guys i promise. lol

thats all i have for now. since its #musicmonday, here's a song that i'm listening to on my ipod. this is for you..

peace and love yall

my bad!!!!!!!!!

ok so tonight was suppose to be the night that i blogged but the game came on threw me completely off plus somethin else came up that also made me fall back on from writing and instead asked my "crew" a question and they gave me really good solid answers so tomorrow after class, i'm going to write what i wanted to say tonight and i will let u all get in on the topic as well. ok i gotta get some rest before i pass out.
1

my weekend

hey everyone!

hope u all had a great weekend. my weekend was cool.i went out with my home boys for my friend spida birthday. we tried to see final destination 3D. So glad it was sold out!! I so didnt want to pay to see a movie that i could definitely could wait til it came out on video and then wait longer until it got sold at dollar general for a dollar. so we went to this bar and had some burgers and beer and did what guys do best....talk about women, sports and more women. i like going to bars a lot more than going to clubs and parties because it becomes actual memories that u appreciate later in life. Whereas going to the club becomes a night of drunkness that can't be given back. so anywho, we had fun and kicked it back at the house and played madden on the new tv. I LOVE MY NEW TV!!! HD is the bitnaazz!!! lol i watched things that i never even thought about watching in HD(a funeral, CNN, tvONE, ETC) and of course ESPN! I feel like regular tv is beneath me lol


Today, however went a little different than the past two days. it started off good. i woke up and went to church and i enjoyed it for the most part(i got there late so i had to sit in the back with the loud kids and the people that come to church 5 min before the sermon is over acting like they didn't know service started at 9:30???) Then i got a call from my landlord sayin that i have to move out my house because she got into it with my roommate's father( her now ex husband) She said that he called the police on her and now she can't have any contact with his family so we have to move out!! so i'm like wTh?? She said that she would give us time to find a new place to live but she didn't say how long she would give us.(yeah i know. eff'd up right?) So i called my roommate but he has a cricket phone and he is out of town so i couldn't do anything but leave a message for him to call me back asap. So, i did the next best thing and that was to call his mom. his mom rents homes as well so i told her about our situation and it just so happened that she just bought a house on friday and asked if i wanted to go look at it. well the house is nice, but its not as big as the house we have now. plus its in a different neighborhood. and by different i mean its one street over from hood cats. now don't get me wrong, the house is on a nice street, but i don't like the possibility of the wrong people walkin down the street lookin into my house seeing what i got.

But the real issues I have are with my roommates. I feel like I am outgrowing them. Rashid(my bestfriend) has no job and car and is not in anyone's college. He stopped going to CBU about 2yrs ago and hasn't been in school since. And did i mention he JUST got his liscense!!! well, his permit but he will get his DL in 2 weeks when i takes the test. Its not that he isn't smart, he made good grades in school. its just that he his lazy. extremely lazy and thats not a good look for a guy his age. did i mention he gets high and expects to get a job??? but he takes these pills that people "say" will help u pass a drug test. but i'm sure u need to stop smokin before u take the pills and the drug test for a job. Then there is Milan. Milan is cool, but he needs to be in school. He's really into music like his father and brother is, but the talent that comes to the house isn't going to get him exposure. Now his beats....THE BOY IS OFF THE CHAIN!!!! I'm not just sayin that cuz he's my boy, but he is a real monster on the beats. He just needs to get heard. but u can't get heard letting wack memphis rappers rap on your beats. instead of getting high on the weekends and before he goes to work, he needs to be in ATL or somewhere tryin to get his music out there. Even if he takes his music to local clubs and radio stations thats a step above then where he is now. And now i found out that some of the people that come to the house to record, aren't even payin. they just there to waste time. and i'm like this is not gonna work at the new house. this is why i say that i really want some friends that were on my thinking level. its just difficult.

So Ms. Roby was like thats not gonna fly at her house if we move in. so she said that she might just wait and let us rent out the house later once they get their lives together. I told her that i would give them a month and if things don't change then i will just move back home to my moms house and i really don't want to do that. i mean i know that i'm in school and it doesn't seem so bad but i'm a grown man and i like to have my own space. i do NOT want to be stayin in my moms house. I can't have company over if i wanted, not to say that i have females coming in and out the house now, but if i wanted to have a movie night with a friend and i can't cuz i need to ask if its ok first! i'm not down with that at all. So we will see what happens at the end of sept. lets hope they get it togther.

so that was my weekend. tomorrow(well today rather) is the first day of school and i'm excited! i even took my clothes out for the firs day( i know i know i'm lame)i'm just glad to be in class and to be happy about my major. i really think that this is going to be a great semester! hit u guys tomorrow!

peace and love y'all
1

quick update

Hey everyone!

How have you all been? Sorry I’ve been a missing in action the past few days. But I have had a few things going on in my life and I have just been a little busy. But I I’m here and back to stay! Lol

So what’s new u ask??


Well first off let me tell u guys about the dream that I had the other night, I had a dream about a friend of mine that I have never had sexual thoughts of and it really scared me because I don’t look at my female friends that way, but it happens so I guess it’s normal. But still, it was gross!! Lol Then I had a dream that someone close to me was very upset about something and I was trying my hardest to get them to feel better but nothing that I said really helped. They just cried and cried and cried. Then I wake up. Crazy dream right??? *Well it gets better* On Wednesday afternoon I get a call from a friend and she is crying and screaming and I couldn’t help but feel déjà vu. But what I was really upset about was the fact that I saw this coming with her, but just not this soon. She’s a great girl and deserves to be happy. I hate to see her sad. Any of my friends really. It’s just how I am. I try to be the happy person that they can go to when they are down. I had someone ask me for advice the other night and I really helped her out! She and her boyfriend are doing better.



I got my check from school on Thursday and I love my laptop!! Its freekin awesome!! It has a built in webcam so that means I will be able to upload video blogs as well (oh yeah! Skype me! Wofca1 lol) it’s a 16in monitor Hp laptop. It’s really cool. I got my TV too! 32in flat screen. And the best part is that I get HD channels with basic cable. Bootleg cable at that!!! Lol so u all already know ya boy is on a cloud number #9, So right now I’m feeling like Plies, “I got plenty money!!” lmao!!! I went and got some food for the house too! My roommates are terrible with spending. I know I got it bad, but dang they got me beat. I got some clothes too and tomorrow I will get some shoes. Speakin of shoes, today I bout my ex a few things. She’s been stressed out a lot about a lot of things. She’s really doing big things here in Memphis and I know it gets a little overwhelming to her, so I just wanted to cheer her up a bit.


I have a blog on relationships that I want to write about but I want to wait until I get a few things straightened out first then I will write about it. Possibly as soon as today. I’m off and I don’t have anything to do!! I want to go out to tomorrow but, u guys know how I am about randoms lol I meant what I was saying lol
Well that’s all I have for now. Sorry it wasn’t as exciting as my other entries but I will have more to write once things in my life get on track! Thanks for stopping by
Peace and love,
1

my joy

i am truly happy

for the first time in months. i am 100% happy. I've said that i was happy before, but i truly am now. I'm not stressed about anything. i don't know where my happiness came from, but I'm not complaining about it. i have had a lot of things happen to me this year and i have been stressed for a long portion of it. some of the stress came from me and my doings, my moms divorce, my break up, school, work. u name it, i was stressed about it. at the beginning of the year i said that i want to get closer to God and really have a relationship with Him. This whole year i have come up short every time that even attempted to work on it. One thing I have noticed about God is that he is not going to allow ANYTHING come between you and Him if you truly have it in your heart to be with Him. EVERYTHING that was bothering me is no longer around. I've been talkin to my friend about her relationship and i just give her pointers on things and how a man thinks and we both have been sayin that we wanted to get closer spiritual with God, and we both started reading the book of Job and didn't know we both started reading it. ironic right??? lol but to my readers if u haven't i suggest that you do. if you have ever felt like you were alone or feel like God is not hearing you, read his story and i guarantee you will have a new outlook on things. well that was my sermon for the day, i hope you all are having a good one. i will post another entry later on tonight.