ex-citing

so today was an interesting day. a little random mixed with wtf and a side of i guess. my ex called me today. i know what your thinking here we go again but no. lol it wasn't like that. she was in the mall and wanted to see me. now my first mind was "if i'm so crazy and determined to ruin YOUR life, and i was making up the story that YOU told me" why do u want to see me? like if he's THAT much better than me. why do u want to want to see me? BUT instead, i played nice and i'm actually glad that i did because deep down....i wanted to see her too. we caught up on what each other were up to and whatnot. she said that she was happy for me with all the success that i've come across. we laughed a bit and then we hugged and she went on about her way. honestly i just want to know.....why? why today. after 7 weeks. is there a reason for her contacting me? has she not let go completely? does she want to be friends? or was it just a "i was thinking about you and i wanted to see how you were doing" thing. like i'm really confused. i just wish that i had more time to actually ask more questions. questions that are relevant to my feelings.... after todays talk, i could see us being friends......eventually. but not today or tomorrow or the day after that.....what do you guys think about it?.............

there was some other things that happened today but i'm not legally able to go into details about it, but just know that justice was served to 2 women today. i love my job and i do it well lol

well thats my time, i gotta long day tomorrow and i'm cooking for some friends when i get off so with that said, off to bed i go!

peace&love

weekend wrap up

wassup everyone!!!!

man i gotta do better about my posts. it's like i want to blog, but i'm so sleepy when i get off i don't feel like doing anything besides gettin in my bed and going to sleep. but FINALLY, i'm here and energized enough to blog. so whats been going on you all ask?......



work has been goin fine. its just difficult having a boss that doesn't actually live in the same state and having to communicate thru email and delayed phone calls. so i have to make certain decisions on my own that i don't have a problem making, but i would feel more comfortable having her around. honestly i think i'm just used to having to ask before i make a move when i do my "job" whereas now, i'm my own boss. its weird. i think i'm just rambling now...next subject

my weekend....


let me start off by sayin this, if you know me, you all know that i like to have fun and i'm always crackin jokes. i'm rarely in bad moods, and have attitude issues. so with that said let me continue...

i stopped by the 335 this weekend to hang out with some friends. i met another one of my followers which was cool. she's a bit loud lol but what black woman isn't lol jk jk she was drinkin so i'll give her a pass, ANYWHO, we are all playing this game and at first the game was going in favor to my friends on the other team. mainly because myself and my teammates have never played this game. i'm a competitive guy so, losing i don't take likely but its a board game so it really wasn't that big of deal, well one of my teammates started to get sensitive about the game and just went off on my like for NO REASON. like she was sayin " don't talk to me. and you takin this game too far." sayin how i was being too serious about losing and that i was jokin on her too much *yes, she's a grown woman btw * my response to her was as followed " i have yet to get mad at any point in this game. i was frustrated earlier because i didn't know how the game was played but at no point was i EVER mad" like how on earth could she even say that i was jokin on her too much, but she was crackin jokes on me the whole night. like don't come at me sayin i'm doing too much but you doin the exact same thing. the young lady that i had JUST met that evening, we were jokin like we've known each other for years. like no one said anything about each other crackin jokes on the other too much. we were having a great time laughin and playin the rigged game lol so i just left before i actaully allowed her to get me upset. from now on i just won't play with her like i do everyone else. it really bothers me when people do that. if u can't take a joke, don't joke with me. period. we are too grown to be having these issues.

i've been thinkin about changing my blog up. how i want to change it, don't ask. lol but i know i want to do something different. is it just me or does this holiday season feel like a regular month. it doesn't feel like christmas time at all. i mean i see the trees, lights, santa etc.. but it just doesn't feel right. idk if its because i'm single or if i'm not going to houston to meet my family or what. but it just doesn't feel like "christmas". maybe its because i'm older and my days of gifts galore are behind me. speakin of the holidays, i have NO idea what i want to do for new years eve. i wanna go to this event downtown but i hate going to holiday parties alone and being that i don't see myself taking anyone, i probably won't go. the other option is stayin at home in my house, listen to some music and sip some good wine and enjoy the fact that i have a nice home. i actually went by the house tonight after work and it looks really nice. all they have left to install is the stove and refrigerator and i can move in. i got a little teary eyed from the thought of how far i've come. there were times when i felt like giving up and take the easy road and move to houston and live with my pops, but with the help of "KI100 talks" wit the big homie, it helped me keep going. its people that i've known for years that didn't care or don't even know my situation. i've know big homie for a few months and he helped me more than ANY of them and i thank him for it. i feel like i really have an older brother, mature person to look up to finally.

i think thats all i have for now. i have another post to make but i'm gonna wait until after christmas before i post it. so with that said, merry christmas to you all and happy holidays! i'm sure i will blog on christmas eve or christmas so be on the look out for that..

peace&love

song of the day again and nothing to brag about

hey folks!


how was your day? today was cool day. i met my regional manager today. real cool guy. he told me that he was really impressed with my work so far and that the company has already made a great improvement since i've been there! POW!!!


my social life is...... awkward. everyday someone different is either doin something to get themselves removed or something good to get themselves "in". i'm not really sure how to take it honestly. its not like i'm tryin to date them or anything, its just funny how you meet people. #randomthought

i really don't have anything else to talk about. well i do, but its not really worth bloggin about.oh! wait! pause* the crush is crushed. no longer feelin it. isn't it funny how you get to know your crushes and you become completely turned off? its like all i want you to do is look cute. don't talk tho lol......

i haven't done a song of the day in a long time and since my lil big sister been beggin me to go back to that, instead of having music played automatically, here's the song of the day. its 50cent new song "just a little bit". i heard him perform it last night on some show and i really like it....well the hook and the instrumentals lol 50 rappin skills aren't what they used to be. but all that aside, i get the point he was tryin to make with this song. its a question that at some point in a past relationship we wish we could ask the person....do you think about me? i feel ya 50, i've been there lol so with that said, enjoy the song

peace and love

new job, cute youngin, rain, 335, fox&hound and everything else

yo yo yo!!!!
how are u guys?????? did u miss me???

i am soooooo sorry i have been MIA lately on my blog but i've been so busy i just haven't been able to do anything but work, work, work. but tonight i said i wasn't going to sleep until i updated my readers on my life. thank you for the harassing tweets, texts, and comments asking me when i was gonna blog again.lol so here it goes


first things first.....the new job

so, i really love/hate my new job. i love it because of the environment and the location. i have met some really interesting people in short 2weeks that i have been here. i'm the only guy that works there and i love it. i'm like the big brother to younger girls and the older women i'm like a son to them. they constantly come and check up on me when i'm talkin to girls at work tellin me "she not the one
or "u better not call that girl" and my reply EVERYTIME is "i'd never do a thing like that. i'm only about the sales." this past weekend, the store manager was in awe of the many women that were tryin to talk to me. oh and i work with mainly white women. like white white women lol they are so funny. they try to dance and rap and they sound so terrible and they have such open discussions abo ut EVERYTHING and i'm like "do u guys realize that i'm standing RIGHT HERE!!" lol there's a few black women that work there too. but they don't act white, these some real black women. lol but the reason why i said that i hate it is that i really have my work cut out for me at this place. they are expecting me to do my job and to do it well from day one. it was a little frustrating at first because it was soooo out of order when i got there, but i think i have it under control now. all i need to do know is to get some support from the DM to get me some extra freedom to really do my job. i have a lot ideas but i don't want to just jump in and change things without getting the OK before i do it. i'll get my chance to talk to her this week, so cross your fingers that i'm gonna be able to do what i need to do without gettin a NO answer.


so a few of you already know about the little "crush" i had on a young lady i met about 2 weeks ago. i had been wanting to say something to her for a min now and i actually had the chance to say something back when i first met her, but i didn't want to come off like i just met you but can i get your number. you guys know thats not my style lol. so i waited until i was ready. well this past friday, she and i got a chance to talk and get to know each other better. we didn't really get to talk about the things i wanted to because we ran out of time......lets just say she wasn't what i wanted her to be. not that shes a bad person but she has a LOT of growing up to do but all of that will come with age and i don't think that i'm willing to stick around for that. but i will say this, the girl makes me laugh like no other and i like that. so for now its just that, fun. we'll see where it goes....

my house!!!!!

i've been blessed to move into another house, but this time its mine! my cousin is going to live with me to pay half the rent. the owner of the house is charging me a great price that i couldn't say no to. i'm gettin new everything put into the house. its hard wood floors throughout the house, new stove, refrigerator, new washer and dryer. its a nice house and the best part is that i can afford to pay for the house, my car note and still live comfortably and be able to save money at the same time. i feel really good about my decision. the only bad thing about it is that i will be so far from my job and starting in February, my job should be paying me to drive to and from work so i will be saving more money with that too! i was going to move into this apt downtown that was going to charge me a little more than what i am going to be paying for the house, but why get a room, when u can get a whole house? we will be able to move in by the 25th and i can't wait!! so be on the look out for the invite to the house warming party. U MUST BRING A GIFT THAT CAN BE USED FOR THE HOUSE! NO GIFT #NODICE lol

social life......


last night i went out and got drunk lol for the first time in months. i went out with a few co-worker to this place by my current house called Rain. my ex and i tried to go there one night, but they already closed the kitchen down so we didn't get to actually go, but this time i did and i enjoyed it. i had a few beers and sake. a lot of sake. after we left there i finally made it to 335 lol and i had fun. i got to see my old high school buddy and i got meet 2(now 3) of my followers on twitter and i had a good time. i hate that my first time meeting them i was a little drunk but they were cool wit it. i also noticed something else while i was there, but i probably won't speak on it now. i will wait. most likely i won't even talk about it again besides now, but anywho, i had fun. after i left there, i met up with my co workers again and we hung out at this bar called fox and hound. this is where it got interesting. one of my co-workers share with me something that i was NOT prepared to see. it was rather interesting, but i know now*and i also already knew this*but last night confirmed that somethings are meant to just be left alone. i don't think that i will partaking in that lol but overall, i had a fun night out. i needed it. its been a while since i've actually hung out with anyone other than my dog so it was nice to actually hold a conversation. lol

so i think that just about sums it all up. i've caught you all up on pretty much everything...new job, new house, new friends. life is good. i can pretty much thank the good man upstairs for everything. i definitely didn't see things turning out the way they did, but i thank Him for it. well thats all i have. u guys can do what u do best...comment lol

peace&love

been busy folks

wassup folks,

i haven't forgotten about u all. i've been hella busy with school and my new job and other stuff. but i promise i'm gonna blog this afternoon or this evening after work. i have a lot to catch u a guys up on. so with that said, stay tuned......

peace

dreaming/thinking of you

i had a dream today about my ex. it was a pt2 to the dream i had the other night that i told u guys about. this time was different. she called me. we talked for about an hour i'm guessing; in the dream it was a long time.lol we talked about everything. EVERYTHING, from the day we met, to the day we talked for the last time. we laughed. didn't argue a single time. she said that she was surprised that i even picked up the phone. she thanked me for talkin to her and we hung up. then i woke up scratching my head like WTF???? kinda weird huh. funny thing about all this, i don't hate her. well kinda but not really......well, i don't hate her. i strongly dislike her for not being honest with me about her feelings for ol' boy and still "doing" their thing while she and i were "working things out". i can't lie and pretend that i don't miss her though. i miss her like crazy. her smile, her touch, her kiss. hell, i even miss her crazy ass dog......... but what i'm feeling isn't a missing her as in "wanting to be with her" missing her b/c i could never go back. my heart wouldn't allow it.

i planned on writing this long letter(sometime in the near future. a month or 2 or 3) to her saying how much i had changed and how wrong about me she was and that leaving me for him was the biggest mistake of her life, but now, honestly, its not worth it. i know how far i've come and how far i'm going. i've done more than i thought that i could do in this short period of time and i'm so proud of myself. i have a great full-time job. i'll be living in my own place as soon as the first of the year and i did it all within a 6weeks span. i don't need that closure from her. i just need to keep doing what i'm doing......moving on. yeah it hurts me that she's out having a blast wit that dude and i'm sittin here lookin at the 4 walls(while i lay awake at night not being able to sleep) in my room wondering when am i gonna find someone thats going to want to be with me for who i am. sometimes i wonder what shes doing. if she thinks about me as much as i think about her. but then i remember," clearly not as much as u do because you would have gotten something(text, call, tweet, fb message)from her to show that she does." but then i think to myself, "why does it matter?" i'm not going down that path again so let her do her. i haven't had the urge to call her. not one time. but i have had the urge to send "F YOU" texts when i think about things that i know she wasn't honest with me about and telling people false things about me and my actions as of late. i think to myself, "hey, she doesn't care, so don't look back homie. keep it moving." even if she were to call me, i don't think i would want to talk to her. not right now at least. i wouldn't know what to say..... maybe after i get a fine ass girlfriend and move into my place, tell her i'm filthy rich and i'm getting married.....yeah,then maybe so i can brag on myself like i'm 12 lol but i wouldn't want to do that either. i just want to happy and i'm headed down that path.......


if you are listening to the music being played, these songs are a few songs that i have been listening to during this time of "moving on". they help me on the extra sad days and the extra happy days. i have yet to reach the "happy medium" but with each day that goes by, i feel i'm getting closer and closer to that point and eventually i will be at a place were i don't think about her at all. these are songs that were recommended to me to help me get past this and it helps and i feel like its my turn to help my readers in need to know of these songs as well. i really didn't plan on going this far about this stuff in this post but i'm here now. thanks for reading.....

peace&love

Cheaters

whats good everyone!


i've had writers block the past couple of days but today i feel like writing for some reason. nothing specific on my mind, just feel like bloggin. well, i take that back. i read something the other day that really upset me and i wanted to just sit down and blog and just rant, but its not even worth it. i also came up with an idea to actually express my feelings and emotions lately i think you all will enjoy it. i just have to figure out how to put it on here lol


i wanted to talk about the tiger woods situation and cheating but i really don't feel like puttin that much energy into it. i tweeted on it and i think i made my point. although i do feel like sayin a little something about now so here's my thoughts on cheating....don't do it. its not worth it. been down that road 1 time and 1 time only. although certain people think that i did it multiple times, it only happened with one person and i regret it. i should have walked away from the relationship before i even entertained the "fling".

i've always been the good guy, honest and reliable; and in my last relationship, i turned into the bad guy. i wasn't honest with myself or my ex at times and it had a snowball affect on the relationship. now this last go round of our attempt to work things out, i will not put on myself because the same things that she complained to me about, she did. she wasn't honest with me from the jump, so thats something that she is gonna have to live with. but thats another blog for another day. CHEATING. people, how on earth can we say that we are ready for the " next chapter" in our lives if we are still doing the same crap that we've been doing since we have been in high school? u can't move forward and you won't move forward. if you aren't ready for the responsibilities that come with the relationship, don't get in one. keep doing your solo dolo thing and keep pushin. thats all i have to say, this is startin to irritate me.....PEACE&LOVE