thanksgiving weekend

Hey everyone!

Happy belated thanksgiving!! I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days now, but I’ve been so busy with work, school work and preparing for the transition from my old job to my new job. So with that said let’s get into it....

Thanksgiving.....


Thanksgiving started off very bad for me. I was alone with nowhere to go. My whole family left for VA to go to my cousins’ wedding over the weekend. My mother was here and her sisters but you already know how things are with us so clearly I wasn’t gonna be around for that. Sooooo ….i went to my friend’s house(s). The first house I went to was cool. I went to my home girl house and ate some really good food. Her mom and sister both were there hadn’t seen them in a few months so it was good to see them as well. BUT her boyfriend was there as well. Her boyfriend and I are cool but we had a “small” issue some years back. It’s been resolved since then, but it was still a little uncomfortable being there. Like she made one comment like, “remember that one time…..” but then she inserted a “but it happened a long time ago. Long long time ago.” And I’m thinking if you have to do that then clearly there has to be issues going on with me being there. But she invited me so I’m like hey, it is what is ya know. This happened years ago let’s leave it at that....So I left that house and went to house number two. I went to my homeboy house and I had a GREAT time. 4 of my homies were there and we had a great round table discussion about girls, girls, funny moments, twitter and more girls. I really missed having those talks. We, well mainly they did, discussed girls that are known for things other than their good looks. I had NO IDEA how many of the same people we all knew. Well, I kinda did, but it was good to confirm facts. The food was great too btw Lol so after 2hrs of laughs and jokes I left and went to house number 3….my best friend house. I usually go there every year for the holidays and I enjoy myself every time. His aunt is one of the funniest and bluntly honest women alive. I fixed myself a plate because I couldn’t possibly eat another morsel of food. Lol we attempted to see a movie but it was sold out and the next showing wasn’t until 2hrs later and we didn’t feel like waiting. So in all I had a good day. It took my mind off of things and I enjoyed myself. Honestly it was hard for me spending thanksgiving alone this year without my ex. Thanksgiving was our first holiday that we spent together and it brought back memories.....


Speaking of her, I had a really weird dream about her last night. I dreamt that we were on the phone but I was the only one talking. She said 3 maybe 4 words, and that’s all she said. Like it was one of those “I’ll let you talk the whole time, just get it over with” conversations. I’m not gonna go into detail about what I think it meant, but I do feel like it was a sign of recent events on how things are/were between us. To add on to this, I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately. I sleep for 3hrs and I wake up. Then I’m up for 2hrs then I fall back to sleep for 2hrs then I wake up again. I really couldn’t tell you the last time I actually slept through the night. I’m not sure what exactly it means for sure, but I have a feeling that this has a small part in all this. There’s more I want to add on to this, but I’m waiting until I get some things in order first before I have the “final thoughts” on this topic. If you guys have opinions on it feel free to comment.


I really feel like talking about it now, but I HAVE to wait...BUT any who....


Random though...you guys ever have so much on your mind that you don’t know where to end or begin? Well that’s how I feel now. I want to say how I feel. I want to say what I want, I want to scream..BUT I don’t know how to properly express it without sounding like I’m rambling. i have some kinda feeling but i don't know what it is, So I guess I will end this post with that. *note* I’m not sad or anything so please don’t call or text or tweet me asking me if I’m sad. I’m fine; I just don’t know how to express my emotions right now.....