low

i have these feelings.....

these deep down feelings that i have never really addressed. built up anger that makes me so mad to the point where i feel like i have to cry. but i don't cry. i don't shed a tear. thats too easy. instead i let it dig deep into my inner feelings and i let it build....slowly....slowly....until it gets to the point to where years later, it comes back and shows itself and then i get these "highs and lows" mood swings. being depressed is something that i've seen other people go through, but not have i ever dealt with the feelings on a personal level. i thought that i was depressed when my ex and i broke up, but i think it was just heart break, because now i feel nothing. no emotion for certain things. i don't care. i feel anger and that's it. where is this coming from u ask? i have NO IDEA. all i can do is try to get better. i've cut myself off from twitter and fb and anything else that can prevent me from getting better. i don't want to hear from people that are trying to "make me feel better". those people can do NOTHING for me but make me more upset by their phoniness. anyways, that's all i have to say about this. i might write during this process, i might not. not sure. maybe i just need a long break from everything.