so i've really been tryin to get myself back on track. and i must say that its hard. i mean yeah i'm going to work and talkin to friends with a smile on my face and i have my moments of where i feel fine and then i have moments like today when i feel bad. idk i'm just tired of feeling sad. but i did go out this weekend to take my mind off things and this is what i did.....
friday night i went to my big sister Ari birthday party/gathering. it was really nice. we went to this place called molly's and had some drinks and they played some good music too. my sister has some really cool friends. i really enjoyed myself. in fact i had too much fun and ended up having a hangover the next morning. which brings me to my next topic...i've given up drinking alcohol. like sometimes i feel like i can't have "fun" unless i'm drunk and thats not the case. i shouldn't feel that way. so i'm done. i also feel like i use it to "get away" from my issues sometimes. when i woke up it was like they all just came and hit me and i thought to myself whats the point in drinking like that. i'm destroying my body for what? a good laugh? no more. i'm done.
so saturday night i went to my friends house for a pool party and it was cool. we bbq'd and had some music playin and a few girls came by. we had fun. they had some drinks but i declined and i still enjoyed myself. i was even more impressed at the fact that i got IN the water. i don't swim at all. i couldn't tell u guys the last time i got in a pool period. it had to have been at least 5 years maybe longer.lol but it was cool tho. i had fun. today i went to church and went out to eat with my family afterward. i called my father for father's day too. sometimes i get upset at the fact that i didn't always have that good father/son relationship with my dad. there were years that went by when i wouldn't hear from him or see him when i was younger and i would get so mad and upset. i just didn't count on him for anything. and then there were times when i would get excited and i would get disappointed. it wasn't until a few years ago that i forgave him for that. but it still upsets me tho. i think that might be part of the reason for anger that i have brewing.idk...
overall i had a decent weekend. nothing too major but it was still good to get out of the house and take my mind off of things. this is a big week for me as well too. i might be getting some good news finally regarding my job so keep your fingers crossed for me.
peace&love
HOOOOORAYYYY to no more drinking! a lot of people turn to alcohol to guzzle their problems away. but it's only a temporary solution. kudos for growing the balls to face your fears/issues like a man :)
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