hey everyone!
this morning i got a call from my ex and we talked for about 2hours. it was a good talk. we talked about what happened this weekend and the AB incident. she helped me realize that a lot of the things that i do wrong is that i put up with a lot crap that i dont have to. its like the things that she was sayin i already was thinkn about myself. i'm a good guy, but i entertain crap. these girls that i have around i dont need to have around. i already deleted a lot of numbers out my phone, so i'm about to finish it off today. i am no longer gonna have people in my life that i don't need to have around.
i mean im a grown man, and having females around just to be havin them around is a childish thing to do. my main focus is on finishing school and gettin my life together. i don't have time to playin anymore. its plenty of girls that think i'm cute and funny but i want a woman that has her stuff together. its plenty of good women in memphis and i'm gonna have one of them when the time is right. i dont want a girl that still doesn't know what she wants in life. if i have a plan, then she should too. its times that i get lonely and i allow foolishness to block my right mind, thus insert the hoes. but i'm really focusing on aaron. we can be cool when i see u in the streets, but other than that, its a wrap.
i was going to discuss a certain situation with an old friend, but there really isn't a point. i'm not going to waste time with that. so with that said hope u all have a great monday.
peace and love
1
Monday, August 17, 2009
Weekend update
Hey everyone!
How was your weekend? I hope u all had fun. My weekend was ......interesting. It started off very boring as usual. My friend AB came by Friday night for a bit and left. Saturday I cleaned my room up and vacuumed and washed my clothes only to have Baxter mess it right back up again. Crazy mutt lol After that I went to the movies and watched District 9. It was hands down the best movie I have seen this summer and I've seen some good ones. It's def going in the collect when it comes out on DVD. I went to get some ice cream from my cousin job and just enjoyed a day to myself. Then I got a phone call......The ex
I started not to answer because of the bogus phone calls that have been made earlier in the week( being nosy yet not at the same time calls lol) but I did and she asked me what I was doing yada yada yada, and we ended up deciding on this Mexican place that she likes to go to. So the car ride there I'm like ok Aaron stay cool it's just a meal. Have one drink and try not to do anything stupid. Well we order these huge drinks. I had a bid light in one of those huge mugs and she had a margarita full of tequila. I took a sip and tasted all alcohol lol. Well we ate and talked for a bit and drank and by the time it was time to go she was out of her mind drunk. I hadn't seen her that drunk in a long time. Prolly since we went to B.R Louisiana last December. But I was not having her drive home. So she spent the night. I'll have to admit it felt good to have her in my arms again. I didn't want the night to end even tho she threw up several times. Hell it felt good takin care of her. I knew I missed her but it's the small things that I miss the most. And it hurt just as much as I enjoyed it because I knew that when she woke up the next morning she isn't going to stay with me she is going back to the guy she is seeing now. And I'm ok with it, because I got at least that one last night with her. I'm not going to try to break them up cuz I'm not that kind of guy. She's moved on and I will do the same. But I enjoyed last night.
Then this morning..
Come to find out AB was there gettin ready to record in the studio while my ex and I were leaving. I wasn't concerned about it because AB and I aren't together and we aren't on the path to be. Even tho I felt like I didn't need to, I told AB that I was with my ex the night before and she was like she knew who I was with when I came out the door and that it wasn't a big deal. So I'm thinkin it's cool. Wrong. Well when I get home from being out all day (10:30pm) she still here! I'm like ok whatever I know she is stickin around to talk so I'm just waitin on it. Even tho I feel like there is nothing to really talk about. I already told her what was up so it should have been left at that. WRONG AGAIN. so she comes into the computer room, on the phone mind u, talkin bout Im acting funny cuz my girlfriend was here this morning. Mind u guys, I heard her talkn on the phone earlier sayin, "yeah girl, I came over this morning and saw him walkin out the room wit his ex.." so I'm already slick pissed that she gossiping about something that she don't have any business talkin about. We not together so chill wit that. So back to what I was sayin, she comes at me with all that while she's on the phone wit god knows who, and I told her that I wasn't discussing anything with her while she is on the phone. So she tries to say a few things but I wasn't trying to get into all that so I just stopped talkin. Well 30min she comes in my room to talk and she's acting like she's all mad and I tell her that there is nothing to be mad about. If I saw her out anywhere wit another dude I wouldn't be mad at all. Why? Because we don't have that type of relationship. It's no secret that she has a lot of guy friends so why trip over something that's not worth gettin upset about? Then she tried to say she was upset that I was letting her come back every two weeks tellin her I miss her and taking her out and she doesn't want to see me get hurt. She made another slick comment but I'm too sleepy to think of what she said. Come to think of it she said something to my roommates about my ex to, but I really don't care because I could very easily say some things but I'm not going there. It's no point. But my response to her about me going out with my ex was I was bored and we went out and had fun. That's it. She wants to blow this into something it's not. i understand that she can be upset about it. it is a pretty messed up thing to walk into, but we both have our own things going on. She wanted me to get upset and beg her not to be upset. But I'm not doing that. Never have and never will. She said she "dumped" me as her friend and that's all on her. I'm not trippin about it either. To be honest I'm perfectly fine with it cuz I don't really want or need and extra drama in my life.
A new friend put me onto a blog that I really enjoy reading. I can relate to this guy a lot. Seems like we both have the same problems going on. It's good to see someone going thru some of the same things that u are going thru to help u move forward because it's like if he can do it, so can I. I also talked to my ex best friend today too but I will save that for when I wake up tomorrow.
Peace and love.
1
How was your weekend? I hope u all had fun. My weekend was ......interesting. It started off very boring as usual. My friend AB came by Friday night for a bit and left. Saturday I cleaned my room up and vacuumed and washed my clothes only to have Baxter mess it right back up again. Crazy mutt lol After that I went to the movies and watched District 9. It was hands down the best movie I have seen this summer and I've seen some good ones. It's def going in the collect when it comes out on DVD. I went to get some ice cream from my cousin job and just enjoyed a day to myself. Then I got a phone call......The ex
I started not to answer because of the bogus phone calls that have been made earlier in the week( being nosy yet not at the same time calls lol) but I did and she asked me what I was doing yada yada yada, and we ended up deciding on this Mexican place that she likes to go to. So the car ride there I'm like ok Aaron stay cool it's just a meal. Have one drink and try not to do anything stupid. Well we order these huge drinks. I had a bid light in one of those huge mugs and she had a margarita full of tequila. I took a sip and tasted all alcohol lol. Well we ate and talked for a bit and drank and by the time it was time to go she was out of her mind drunk. I hadn't seen her that drunk in a long time. Prolly since we went to B.R Louisiana last December. But I was not having her drive home. So she spent the night. I'll have to admit it felt good to have her in my arms again. I didn't want the night to end even tho she threw up several times. Hell it felt good takin care of her. I knew I missed her but it's the small things that I miss the most. And it hurt just as much as I enjoyed it because I knew that when she woke up the next morning she isn't going to stay with me she is going back to the guy she is seeing now. And I'm ok with it, because I got at least that one last night with her. I'm not going to try to break them up cuz I'm not that kind of guy. She's moved on and I will do the same. But I enjoyed last night.
Then this morning..
Come to find out AB was there gettin ready to record in the studio while my ex and I were leaving. I wasn't concerned about it because AB and I aren't together and we aren't on the path to be. Even tho I felt like I didn't need to, I told AB that I was with my ex the night before and she was like she knew who I was with when I came out the door and that it wasn't a big deal. So I'm thinkin it's cool. Wrong. Well when I get home from being out all day (10:30pm) she still here! I'm like ok whatever I know she is stickin around to talk so I'm just waitin on it. Even tho I feel like there is nothing to really talk about. I already told her what was up so it should have been left at that. WRONG AGAIN. so she comes into the computer room, on the phone mind u, talkin bout Im acting funny cuz my girlfriend was here this morning. Mind u guys, I heard her talkn on the phone earlier sayin, "yeah girl, I came over this morning and saw him walkin out the room wit his ex.." so I'm already slick pissed that she gossiping about something that she don't have any business talkin about. We not together so chill wit that. So back to what I was sayin, she comes at me with all that while she's on the phone wit god knows who, and I told her that I wasn't discussing anything with her while she is on the phone. So she tries to say a few things but I wasn't trying to get into all that so I just stopped talkin. Well 30min she comes in my room to talk and she's acting like she's all mad and I tell her that there is nothing to be mad about. If I saw her out anywhere wit another dude I wouldn't be mad at all. Why? Because we don't have that type of relationship. It's no secret that she has a lot of guy friends so why trip over something that's not worth gettin upset about? Then she tried to say she was upset that I was letting her come back every two weeks tellin her I miss her and taking her out and she doesn't want to see me get hurt. She made another slick comment but I'm too sleepy to think of what she said. Come to think of it she said something to my roommates about my ex to, but I really don't care because I could very easily say some things but I'm not going there. It's no point. But my response to her about me going out with my ex was I was bored and we went out and had fun. That's it. She wants to blow this into something it's not. i understand that she can be upset about it. it is a pretty messed up thing to walk into, but we both have our own things going on. She wanted me to get upset and beg her not to be upset. But I'm not doing that. Never have and never will. She said she "dumped" me as her friend and that's all on her. I'm not trippin about it either. To be honest I'm perfectly fine with it cuz I don't really want or need and extra drama in my life.
A new friend put me onto a blog that I really enjoy reading. I can relate to this guy a lot. Seems like we both have the same problems going on. It's good to see someone going thru some of the same things that u are going thru to help u move forward because it's like if he can do it, so can I. I also talked to my ex best friend today too but I will save that for when I wake up tomorrow.
Peace and love.
1
Friday, August 14, 2009
song of the day pt.2
i went waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back with this one. hope it brings back good memories!!!
enjoy!!!
enjoy!!!
ITS FRIDAY!!!
Morning!!!
Ok ok I promise to upload a music blog today!! Lol I just been lazy guys
But let's jump into things today!!
First I want to apologize to a friend of mine who I have mentioned in my past entries. I had a misunderstanding about your feelings and I didn't mean to make it seem like u were just about number. I'm glad we talked and got things cleared up. So again I apologize. My bad
So yesterday was a good and bad day. My truck battery is all the way dead. Like it is past dead. Lol it would not start on me at all yesterday. So I've been driving my roommate car for quick things that I needed. I'm actually gettin dresed as I write this so I can get my battery from autozone. Did I mention that my rent is due today too? FML :-/
My oldest female friend in the world(i only have maybe 4 REAL female friends) came by with her little sister last night. we had a lot of fun catching up on things and just hangin out. i might post some pics up too....on 2nd thought never mind. i have new follwers now. can't come off as a lame lol
*sidenote funky big band by Janet Jackson is a good morning wake song. Makes u wanna be in a jazz/ r&b band
I found out too that I think I'm gettin a really nice return from the school in 2weekS. Like I'm bout to be riding like 3six Mafia rich. (not really but u get my point lol ) so hopefully if I can hold on for 2weeks I will be ok cuz then I can get a new car. I got a call yesterday from my ex saying that she read something and it made her think of me. Sometimes I really wonder about our "communication" because we can have a huge argument and not talk and then come back and say things like thT to each other. Am I the only one that goes thru that with the ex? I mean cuz after Wednesday talk it felt like the "communication" was a no go lol, but like alwYs, life is weird like that.
Speaking of ex, it's the weekend and I yet have been able to find things to do on the weekend so looks like I will be at home, ALONE, again. My home girl is suppose to come by but we will see if she comes. Hadn't talked to her in a couple days but she said she wZ coming for Mexican night. This will be our first time actually hanging out. We been friends for 2yrs and we have NEVER kicked it. We always tLk about going out for drinks but something alwYs comes up. Something might come up this weekend too lol this is the only time being single sucks cuz i don't want to just kick it wit random girls thT I don't know, that will lead to sex, that leads me to not wanting to talk to them Anymore because of their inability to hold a decent conversation past day 2. i mean i am ready to meet people but.....IDK.
*side note(where was i going with that again???)
thats all i have for now, give u guys an update on things later on in the day,
now back to my regularly scheduled program......TWITTER!!! LMAO!!
1
Ok ok I promise to upload a music blog today!! Lol I just been lazy guys
But let's jump into things today!!
First I want to apologize to a friend of mine who I have mentioned in my past entries. I had a misunderstanding about your feelings and I didn't mean to make it seem like u were just about number. I'm glad we talked and got things cleared up. So again I apologize. My bad
So yesterday was a good and bad day. My truck battery is all the way dead. Like it is past dead. Lol it would not start on me at all yesterday. So I've been driving my roommate car for quick things that I needed. I'm actually gettin dresed as I write this so I can get my battery from autozone. Did I mention that my rent is due today too? FML :-/
My oldest female friend in the world(i only have maybe 4 REAL female friends) came by with her little sister last night. we had a lot of fun catching up on things and just hangin out. i might post some pics up too....on 2nd thought never mind. i have new follwers now. can't come off as a lame lol
*sidenote funky big band by Janet Jackson is a good morning wake song. Makes u wanna be in a jazz/ r&b band
I found out too that I think I'm gettin a really nice return from the school in 2weekS. Like I'm bout to be riding like 3six Mafia rich. (not really but u get my point lol ) so hopefully if I can hold on for 2weeks I will be ok cuz then I can get a new car. I got a call yesterday from my ex saying that she read something and it made her think of me. Sometimes I really wonder about our "communication" because we can have a huge argument and not talk and then come back and say things like thT to each other. Am I the only one that goes thru that with the ex? I mean cuz after Wednesday talk it felt like the "communication" was a no go lol, but like alwYs, life is weird like that.
Speaking of ex, it's the weekend and I yet have been able to find things to do on the weekend so looks like I will be at home, ALONE, again. My home girl is suppose to come by but we will see if she comes. Hadn't talked to her in a couple days but she said she wZ coming for Mexican night. This will be our first time actually hanging out. We been friends for 2yrs and we have NEVER kicked it. We always tLk about going out for drinks but something alwYs comes up. Something might come up this weekend too lol this is the only time being single sucks cuz i don't want to just kick it wit random girls thT I don't know, that will lead to sex, that leads me to not wanting to talk to them Anymore because of their inability to hold a decent conversation past day 2. i mean i am ready to meet people but.....IDK.
*side note(where was i going with that again???)
thats all i have for now, give u guys an update on things later on in the day,
now back to my regularly scheduled program......TWITTER!!! LMAO!!
1
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesdays news
Hey everyone!!!
How was your day? My day was good. I had a small set back but was cool. My truck stopped on me twice today. I need a new battery. I'm hoping that it can hold up til the end of the month when I get my check from the school so I can get a new car. I'm tired of it. I had some good memories in but it's time for a change.
So last night I slipped up ans sent my ex an email sayin that I missed her and whatnot and a few other things, but I'm regretting sending it because today I got the response I needed to be sure that it was best that I move on. I don't blame her for anything. It just makes me mad when u try to make something work but it's not what You need to do. I mean I'm actually happier without her, but it's hard to just walk away from someone u love even if it's not for the best. I told myself I wasn't going to publically discuss her again, I just had to get this off my chest one more last time.
So as u know I travel to different stores for my job and I have to work with this guy at one store who is a complete idiot. He's not even trying to learn anything we teach him. My partner sent an email to his boss and I'm gonna talk to my boss about him as well cuz I can't take him any longer. So I will keep u guys posted on what happens.
Also, I want to welcome my new follwer to my blog! Hope u enjoy reading it as much as I like writing it. Speaking of follwers, my friend and compared Twitter to facebook. Facebook is boring to me now. I use it to contact my folks and my cousins. That's it. I'm not really on it. I check it to add my friend requests, messages if I even get any and that's it. I finally changed my status on there from a few days. Twitter is co cuz I get to talk to people about things instantly and get a Response. I have a group of followers for everything I like sports, music, politics, and girls. The girls are funny they keep my day going with their silliness. It's like making friends from all over the place at once. All I need to do is get friends on skype and then I'm set. Wait on second thought, the fewer friends on skype is best. I can't be talkin to everyone. Lol
Well thTs it for now. I'm off tomorrow and I have alot of cleaning to do in my house. I will hit u guys up tomorrow with the song of the day. I might do multiple since I've been slackin.
How was your day? My day was good. I had a small set back but was cool. My truck stopped on me twice today. I need a new battery. I'm hoping that it can hold up til the end of the month when I get my check from the school so I can get a new car. I'm tired of it. I had some good memories in but it's time for a change.
So last night I slipped up ans sent my ex an email sayin that I missed her and whatnot and a few other things, but I'm regretting sending it because today I got the response I needed to be sure that it was best that I move on. I don't blame her for anything. It just makes me mad when u try to make something work but it's not what You need to do. I mean I'm actually happier without her, but it's hard to just walk away from someone u love even if it's not for the best. I told myself I wasn't going to publically discuss her again, I just had to get this off my chest one more last time.
So as u know I travel to different stores for my job and I have to work with this guy at one store who is a complete idiot. He's not even trying to learn anything we teach him. My partner sent an email to his boss and I'm gonna talk to my boss about him as well cuz I can't take him any longer. So I will keep u guys posted on what happens.
Also, I want to welcome my new follwer to my blog! Hope u enjoy reading it as much as I like writing it. Speaking of follwers, my friend and compared Twitter to facebook. Facebook is boring to me now. I use it to contact my folks and my cousins. That's it. I'm not really on it. I check it to add my friend requests, messages if I even get any and that's it. I finally changed my status on there from a few days. Twitter is co cuz I get to talk to people about things instantly and get a Response. I have a group of followers for everything I like sports, music, politics, and girls. The girls are funny they keep my day going with their silliness. It's like making friends from all over the place at once. All I need to do is get friends on skype and then I'm set. Wait on second thought, the fewer friends on skype is best. I can't be talkin to everyone. Lol
Well thTs it for now. I'm off tomorrow and I have alot of cleaning to do in my house. I will hit u guys up tomorrow with the song of the day. I might do multiple since I've been slackin.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Monday morning
Morning!!
Feeling good today. So today my sister starts her senior year of high school!! I am old as dirt. Lol I can believe how fast time flies. Seems like she was just born. Lol I've been behind on my current events but I'm gettin back on it. I've been a little busy with work and gettin ready for school. Don't know if I mentioned this before but I'm gonna try and get a car at the end of the month. Something small and affordable on gas This truck is killing me. I got approved for my grants so that should help pay for the majority of it. I'm leaving old navy this week because they don't give me any hours at all anymore. For some reason they think I don't want to work?? Ok, I got bills why the heck wouldn't I want to work??? They are the most unprofessional establishment I have ever worked for. I will never work for them again. But I will continue to shop there lol.
In other news
my roommate is not fit to have a dog lol I'm so glad that dog was free. He doesn't realize the work and time it takes to train an animal. It's not easy and I told him that. I give him mYbe til Wednesday before he flat out gives up. I have someonein mind that would take good care of Kacey. It took a while to get Baxter trained and he still has his issues but he has come a looong way.
I think a friend of mine maybe coming down this weekend to hangout. I hadn't seen her in a while so it will be cool to hang out and show her around. I have a few places in mind that we can go so we should have fun. I'm sittin here blogging from my phone and everyone in the office is on their phone either on Twitter, facebook, or myspace lol what has the world come to???
That's all I have for now, get up wit u all later
1
Feeling good today. So today my sister starts her senior year of high school!! I am old as dirt. Lol I can believe how fast time flies. Seems like she was just born. Lol I've been behind on my current events but I'm gettin back on it. I've been a little busy with work and gettin ready for school. Don't know if I mentioned this before but I'm gonna try and get a car at the end of the month. Something small and affordable on gas This truck is killing me. I got approved for my grants so that should help pay for the majority of it. I'm leaving old navy this week because they don't give me any hours at all anymore. For some reason they think I don't want to work?? Ok, I got bills why the heck wouldn't I want to work??? They are the most unprofessional establishment I have ever worked for. I will never work for them again. But I will continue to shop there lol.
In other news
my roommate is not fit to have a dog lol I'm so glad that dog was free. He doesn't realize the work and time it takes to train an animal. It's not easy and I told him that. I give him mYbe til Wednesday before he flat out gives up. I have someonein mind that would take good care of Kacey. It took a while to get Baxter trained and he still has his issues but he has come a looong way.
I think a friend of mine maybe coming down this weekend to hangout. I hadn't seen her in a while so it will be cool to hang out and show her around. I have a few places in mind that we can go so we should have fun. I'm sittin here blogging from my phone and everyone in the office is on their phone either on Twitter, facebook, or myspace lol what has the world come to???
That's all I have for now, get up wit u all later
1
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I'm free!!
Hey!!!
So today has been a great day! I got up went to church and had a good time. We had a guest speaker and he spoke the truth! It feels good starting the week off with church. It sets the tone for the week. In other new, I think that I have completely gotten over my ex. I saw something the other day that just made me wake up. Not to mention I also found out some other things she said in the past about me that just hit me and made me realize I'm better off without her. It's funny hearing what people say when I tell them we aren't together anymore. But anyways I'm done with that. Well I gotta get back to work. I just had to finally get that off my chest. It feels really to be able to move on and not worry about looking back.
So today has been a great day! I got up went to church and had a good time. We had a guest speaker and he spoke the truth! It feels good starting the week off with church. It sets the tone for the week. In other new, I think that I have completely gotten over my ex. I saw something the other day that just made me wake up. Not to mention I also found out some other things she said in the past about me that just hit me and made me realize I'm better off without her. It's funny hearing what people say when I tell them we aren't together anymore. But anyways I'm done with that. Well I gotta get back to work. I just had to finally get that off my chest. It feels really to be able to move on and not worry about looking back.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Sleepless in Memphis
Hey guys and gals.
I've been in the bed for a while now but I can't sleep. I have a cough that I can't seem to shake. All my other symptoms are gone. It's just this darn cough. I need to shake this asap I've been losing sleep for the past week because of it. I also can't sleep cz I was sooo bored tonight. These are the times when being single sucks. Although I could very easily go through my phone and choose a girl, what's the point if I'm not really interested in seeing them or talkin to them for more than 5-10 min lol so after I deleted those numbers I was still looking at the clock at 11pm like what am I gonna do. See I knew this was gonna be hard cuz of the obvious but clearly I didn't think it would be like this. It would help out so much if I was back home in NYC so that I could always have something to do but here it's nothing. And when nothing comes around I start thinking and start looking in places I shouldn't. And after going a whole week I looked. But I didn't look at the blog, I Twitter looked and of course I saw what I already knew was going on. I wish that I had an opportunity to ask questions that I never asked that I should have asked. I did ask a couple questions that got answered but when I got my answers I didn't believe the response and the proof is in the puddin. But it's all good. My time will come. Now that I think of it, the questions that I wNt to ask have already been answered too. So I guess it's up to me to stop and break this bad habit. Cuz I'm pretty sure she isn't feeling how I'm feeling or doing what I'm doing. And that's cool she can do what she wants.
In other news.........
I'm gonna try to pick up a new hobby. I have a few in mind. Finally get my guitar fixed & Start writing music. My parents are too gifted for me to not be able to do it. My father is a piano player and choir director and my mother was a professional singer before she had me. So playing an instrument should come with ease for me. One would think thT right???? Lol
Side note*
have u ever ran into someone u had relations with And think to yourself WTH was I thinking?!?!?!? Man I saw this young woman and I was like man I was so stupid for that. But she had the nerve to look at me like I was the one that was fat and ugly. No ma'am. That's all u lol
Well I think that I am finally getting sleepy. I keep saying that I'm gonna stop bringing up my ex and my relationship but it always comes up. I'm not purposely doing it, it just comes out. I guess whenever I get over it, it will be gone from my blog. But like I said in the begining of first blog, this is 100% how I'm feeling when I decide to write these post. So I'm just speaking from the heart. I don't have anyone to say these things to, and I don't think I trust anyone enough to say ALL this to and not get looked at crazy, so I ease my mind here. :-)
Nite folks
I've been in the bed for a while now but I can't sleep. I have a cough that I can't seem to shake. All my other symptoms are gone. It's just this darn cough. I need to shake this asap I've been losing sleep for the past week because of it. I also can't sleep cz I was sooo bored tonight. These are the times when being single sucks. Although I could very easily go through my phone and choose a girl, what's the point if I'm not really interested in seeing them or talkin to them for more than 5-10 min lol so after I deleted those numbers I was still looking at the clock at 11pm like what am I gonna do. See I knew this was gonna be hard cuz of the obvious but clearly I didn't think it would be like this. It would help out so much if I was back home in NYC so that I could always have something to do but here it's nothing. And when nothing comes around I start thinking and start looking in places I shouldn't. And after going a whole week I looked. But I didn't look at the blog, I Twitter looked and of course I saw what I already knew was going on. I wish that I had an opportunity to ask questions that I never asked that I should have asked. I did ask a couple questions that got answered but when I got my answers I didn't believe the response and the proof is in the puddin. But it's all good. My time will come. Now that I think of it, the questions that I wNt to ask have already been answered too. So I guess it's up to me to stop and break this bad habit. Cuz I'm pretty sure she isn't feeling how I'm feeling or doing what I'm doing. And that's cool she can do what she wants.
In other news.........
I'm gonna try to pick up a new hobby. I have a few in mind. Finally get my guitar fixed & Start writing music. My parents are too gifted for me to not be able to do it. My father is a piano player and choir director and my mother was a professional singer before she had me. So playing an instrument should come with ease for me. One would think thT right???? Lol
Side note*
have u ever ran into someone u had relations with And think to yourself WTH was I thinking?!?!?!? Man I saw this young woman and I was like man I was so stupid for that. But she had the nerve to look at me like I was the one that was fat and ugly. No ma'am. That's all u lol
Well I think that I am finally getting sleepy. I keep saying that I'm gonna stop bringing up my ex and my relationship but it always comes up. I'm not purposely doing it, it just comes out. I guess whenever I get over it, it will be gone from my blog. But like I said in the begining of first blog, this is 100% how I'm feeling when I decide to write these post. So I'm just speaking from the heart. I don't have anyone to say these things to, and I don't think I trust anyone enough to say ALL this to and not get looked at crazy, so I ease my mind here. :-)
Nite folks
Friday, August 7, 2009
Wassup peeps!
So yesterday was an interesting day. I was off and got a lot done. I had to run back to te school to fill this form out but I forgot to bring this other page from my taxes so I had to come back this morning when all I had to do was go online and print it off. Clearly wasn't thinking. But it's all worked out now so I'm good and ready for school. Might even be able to walk early too. But I have to buckle down N do it. Pray for me lol
It's so funny how love makes us do crazy things. My oldest female friend in the world called me yesterday crying saying that she needed to talk so I went and met her to talk. Now she and I have had a rocky friendship for a while now and we never really discussed our personal lives together so I knew this was serious. So we talked for about 2 and a half hours and got caught up on things. She really likes this guy and when she would talk about him u can tell she loves this guy. I. Hope that things work out for her. It made me think about my ex when times were good, we had fun.
Speaking of my ex, we found out that we are friends with a few people on Twitter. Now it wasn't a big deal for me and I'm sure it isn't for her, but this just shows me how small this world is. At first it was like "are u serious???" but theN I was like who cares. We are gonna have to cross paths eventually, might as well knock this out. I'm doing pretty good as far as not looking at her blog. Haven't looked at all this week. Well I did on Sunday but that was right after everything happened. I'm also going thru phases pretty fast with her. I'm accepting the way things are. I'm not bitter or mad about anything. In fact if I saw her this weekend I'd speak and keep moving. There is no point in being sad or depressd about it. We are toxic together right now. After a little time apart maybe we can be friends or whatever the case maybe.
Well gotta go. I have another story to tell but I don't have enough time so I will check in later
So yesterday was an interesting day. I was off and got a lot done. I had to run back to te school to fill this form out but I forgot to bring this other page from my taxes so I had to come back this morning when all I had to do was go online and print it off. Clearly wasn't thinking. But it's all worked out now so I'm good and ready for school. Might even be able to walk early too. But I have to buckle down N do it. Pray for me lol
It's so funny how love makes us do crazy things. My oldest female friend in the world called me yesterday crying saying that she needed to talk so I went and met her to talk. Now she and I have had a rocky friendship for a while now and we never really discussed our personal lives together so I knew this was serious. So we talked for about 2 and a half hours and got caught up on things. She really likes this guy and when she would talk about him u can tell she loves this guy. I. Hope that things work out for her. It made me think about my ex when times were good, we had fun.
Speaking of my ex, we found out that we are friends with a few people on Twitter. Now it wasn't a big deal for me and I'm sure it isn't for her, but this just shows me how small this world is. At first it was like "are u serious???" but theN I was like who cares. We are gonna have to cross paths eventually, might as well knock this out. I'm doing pretty good as far as not looking at her blog. Haven't looked at all this week. Well I did on Sunday but that was right after everything happened. I'm also going thru phases pretty fast with her. I'm accepting the way things are. I'm not bitter or mad about anything. In fact if I saw her this weekend I'd speak and keep moving. There is no point in being sad or depressd about it. We are toxic together right now. After a little time apart maybe we can be friends or whatever the case maybe.
Well gotta go. I have another story to tell but I don't have enough time so I will check in later
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Long talk and realization
Afternoon all!
So today has been a chill day so far. I had to go to campus and fix some stuff wit my school money so I cam get some cash back at the end of the month. I am hoping to use that money for a weekend get away alone somewhere. I really need A break to clear my head. The other night my roommate and I had a looong talk about life and relationships and we both learned a few things about each other and things we never told anyone in life. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't meet him sooner. He really is my best friend and vise versa. We realized that we Are a lot alike when it comes to relationships. We both have issues that we working on for our next relationships. I
What I learned about myself in my last relationship is that I love hard and quick and I tried to fight it for months with her. I didn't want to admit to myself that I loved her so soon so I did things to make me think otherwise. I kept loose baggage around, I Lied, I cheated, I just didn't want to think that I was out the "game" but by the time I realized it, it was too late. Too much damage had been done. That's why we had so many problems. I'm glad that I realized these things now because I would have brought all that baggage with me into the next relationship.
Well thTs enough dr Phil for the day holla at u all later after work
So today has been a chill day so far. I had to go to campus and fix some stuff wit my school money so I cam get some cash back at the end of the month. I am hoping to use that money for a weekend get away alone somewhere. I really need A break to clear my head. The other night my roommate and I had a looong talk about life and relationships and we both learned a few things about each other and things we never told anyone in life. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't meet him sooner. He really is my best friend and vise versa. We realized that we Are a lot alike when it comes to relationships. We both have issues that we working on for our next relationships. I
What I learned about myself in my last relationship is that I love hard and quick and I tried to fight it for months with her. I didn't want to admit to myself that I loved her so soon so I did things to make me think otherwise. I kept loose baggage around, I Lied, I cheated, I just didn't want to think that I was out the "game" but by the time I realized it, it was too late. Too much damage had been done. That's why we had so many problems. I'm glad that I realized these things now because I would have brought all that baggage with me into the next relationship.
Well thTs enough dr Phil for the day holla at u all later after work
Sick and new family member
What's good folks!
so today started very bad. I woke up sick as ever. Runny nose, terrible chest pain, aching body pain. Plus Baxter had the runs from eating something he had no business eating. But he thru that up and was fine after thT. I went back to sleep and got some meds and started feeling better. So later on after i went back to sleep i got a call from a friend saying that shewas giving away her pitbull and if I knew anyone that wanted one so I told my roommate about it so we went to go check her out. Of course he fell in love with her and decided to keep her. She doesn't even look like a pit. She looks like a labrador. If I didn't have Baxter already I would have taken her brother.
She is a black puppy name Kacey. She's big too. And Baxter loves her lol. I wanted to get another dog but I can't afford another dog rite now, so it's cool that he could take her so it's good for me cuz it's like I have 2 dogs for the price of one lol. I'm gonna post pics soon.
Also things wit AB are completely over with. She completely over reacted about something tonight. So she was I wasn't giving her attention and I like ok u came over for studio time not to hang out. TheN she kept bringing up things that didn t matter at all. So I was like ok cool u wanna leave that's fine cuz this is getting too weird lol
So that's where I am with the social life. I almost made a phone call today because of a dream I had last night. But I didn't. I promised myself I wouldnt look back. It hurts too bad to look back. I am cool wit being alone. Like I am completely single. Phone doesn't ring. No texts unless it's one of the guys or one of my homies from school. Life is pretty quiet over here.
Well I'm bout to call it a night. Hit u guys tomorrow. It's raining outside. Perfect sleeping weather. Bout to listen to some relaxing music and call it a night.
so today started very bad. I woke up sick as ever. Runny nose, terrible chest pain, aching body pain. Plus Baxter had the runs from eating something he had no business eating. But he thru that up and was fine after thT. I went back to sleep and got some meds and started feeling better. So later on after i went back to sleep i got a call from a friend saying that shewas giving away her pitbull and if I knew anyone that wanted one so I told my roommate about it so we went to go check her out. Of course he fell in love with her and decided to keep her. She doesn't even look like a pit. She looks like a labrador. If I didn't have Baxter already I would have taken her brother.
She is a black puppy name Kacey. She's big too. And Baxter loves her lol. I wanted to get another dog but I can't afford another dog rite now, so it's cool that he could take her so it's good for me cuz it's like I have 2 dogs for the price of one lol. I'm gonna post pics soon.
Also things wit AB are completely over with. She completely over reacted about something tonight. So she was I wasn't giving her attention and I like ok u came over for studio time not to hang out. TheN she kept bringing up things that didn t matter at all. So I was like ok cool u wanna leave that's fine cuz this is getting too weird lol
So that's where I am with the social life. I almost made a phone call today because of a dream I had last night. But I didn't. I promised myself I wouldnt look back. It hurts too bad to look back. I am cool wit being alone. Like I am completely single. Phone doesn't ring. No texts unless it's one of the guys or one of my homies from school. Life is pretty quiet over here.
Well I'm bout to call it a night. Hit u guys tomorrow. It's raining outside. Perfect sleeping weather. Bout to listen to some relaxing music and call it a night.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday wrap up
Hey everyone!
My earlier post was a bit depressing, yet it was brutally honest. So today I went to my moms house and had a talk with her and she brought a lot of things to my attention. It was hard to swallow some of it but it made a lot of sense. I'm glad I have a mother like her. She's not always nice but she tells me what I need to hear and what I need to hear is the truth. She also told me that I would meet my 5star chick one day soon. For my readers that don't know what that means, google it. Lol. I also today tried to reach out to my friend but I think I hurt her one too many times and now she wants nothing and I mean nothing to do with me. Her exect words were erase my number and never call me again. End quote. I feel really bad but at the same time I allowed things to come between us and feel terrible about it. I wish that there was something I could do but there isn't. Maybe in a few months I can try to reach out to her but right now she's hurt.
So I got a call tonight from my roommate saying that they saw my friend AB at walmart wit another dude. But the thing about that is I don't care. We aren't on that level so it doesn't matter to me if she was with LeBron James or Will Smith. I don't care. She called me earlier today and said she wanted to stop by since we hadn't seen each other. So I mean if she made plans that's cool too cuz it's not a big deal. So I called her just to check in with her if she was still coming over and she was like she would call me back in a few. So I'm like ok no biggie. Well my other home boy tells me he talked to her at walmart and she was acting like she had to explain herself to him about why she was out with this guy. He was just like ok whatever it's not that serious. So I'm pretty sure she was like oh crap they see me wit this dude wth am I gonna do. Well honestly she don't have to say or do anything. I'm not trippin about it. She didn't even call or text me to confirm or cancel she just didn't anything else to me. So the next time I talk to her I will see if she brings it up. Cuz I'm not. Water under the bridge for me lol
Well that's all I have for now. Hit u guys back tomorrow or later on today I mean.
1
My earlier post was a bit depressing, yet it was brutally honest. So today I went to my moms house and had a talk with her and she brought a lot of things to my attention. It was hard to swallow some of it but it made a lot of sense. I'm glad I have a mother like her. She's not always nice but she tells me what I need to hear and what I need to hear is the truth. She also told me that I would meet my 5star chick one day soon. For my readers that don't know what that means, google it. Lol. I also today tried to reach out to my friend but I think I hurt her one too many times and now she wants nothing and I mean nothing to do with me. Her exect words were erase my number and never call me again. End quote. I feel really bad but at the same time I allowed things to come between us and feel terrible about it. I wish that there was something I could do but there isn't. Maybe in a few months I can try to reach out to her but right now she's hurt.
So I got a call tonight from my roommate saying that they saw my friend AB at walmart wit another dude. But the thing about that is I don't care. We aren't on that level so it doesn't matter to me if she was with LeBron James or Will Smith. I don't care. She called me earlier today and said she wanted to stop by since we hadn't seen each other. So I mean if she made plans that's cool too cuz it's not a big deal. So I called her just to check in with her if she was still coming over and she was like she would call me back in a few. So I'm like ok no biggie. Well my other home boy tells me he talked to her at walmart and she was acting like she had to explain herself to him about why she was out with this guy. He was just like ok whatever it's not that serious. So I'm pretty sure she was like oh crap they see me wit this dude wth am I gonna do. Well honestly she don't have to say or do anything. I'm not trippin about it. She didn't even call or text me to confirm or cancel she just didn't anything else to me. So the next time I talk to her I will see if she brings it up. Cuz I'm not. Water under the bridge for me lol
Well that's all I have for now. Hit u guys back tomorrow or later on today I mean.
1
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Suicidal thoughts
So what's good people!
I have really neglected my blog alllll week long. I had plenty of posts that I wanted to post but I was too lazy to post. But I'm back now, so let's get things going!!
Life has so many twists and turns that it's crazy. Sometimes I see movies and tv shows and I think to myself "why would they want to do that to themselves. It's not that serious". Well sometimes it is. Yesterday I almost did something really stupid to myself and it scares me that the thought was even in my head. U know we can't control life but we can influence things that happen. I have learned that it doesn't matter how hard or how bad things get u have to stay focused. I wasn't t focused on the goal and it almost ended my life. After a long talk with my parents I feel a lot better. Things will get better. Things WILL be better. I love each and every one of u that follows my blog, my friends and my family. But most importantly, I'm loving myself.
I have really neglected my blog alllll week long. I had plenty of posts that I wanted to post but I was too lazy to post. But I'm back now, so let's get things going!!
Life has so many twists and turns that it's crazy. Sometimes I see movies and tv shows and I think to myself "why would they want to do that to themselves. It's not that serious". Well sometimes it is. Yesterday I almost did something really stupid to myself and it scares me that the thought was even in my head. U know we can't control life but we can influence things that happen. I have learned that it doesn't matter how hard or how bad things get u have to stay focused. I wasn't t focused on the goal and it almost ended my life. After a long talk with my parents I feel a lot better. Things will get better. Things WILL be better. I love each and every one of u that follows my blog, my friends and my family. But most importantly, I'm loving myself.
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