so i've really been tryin to get myself back on track. and i must say that its hard. i mean yeah i'm going to work and talkin to friends with a smile on my face and i have my moments of where i feel fine and then i have moments like today when i feel bad. idk i'm just tired of feeling sad. but i did go out this weekend to take my mind off things and this is what i did.....
friday night i went to my big sister Ari birthday party/gathering. it was really nice. we went to this place called molly's and had some drinks and they played some good music too. my sister has some really cool friends. i really enjoyed myself. in fact i had too much fun and ended up having a hangover the next morning. which brings me to my next topic...i've given up drinking alcohol. like sometimes i feel like i can't have "fun" unless i'm drunk and thats not the case. i shouldn't feel that way. so i'm done. i also feel like i use it to "get away" from my issues sometimes. when i woke up it was like they all just came and hit me and i thought to myself whats the point in drinking like that. i'm destroying my body for what? a good laugh? no more. i'm done.
so saturday night i went to my friends house for a pool party and it was cool. we bbq'd and had some music playin and a few girls came by. we had fun. they had some drinks but i declined and i still enjoyed myself. i was even more impressed at the fact that i got IN the water. i don't swim at all. i couldn't tell u guys the last time i got in a pool period. it had to have been at least 5 years maybe longer.lol but it was cool tho. i had fun. today i went to church and went out to eat with my family afterward. i called my father for father's day too. sometimes i get upset at the fact that i didn't always have that good father/son relationship with my dad. there were years that went by when i wouldn't hear from him or see him when i was younger and i would get so mad and upset. i just didn't count on him for anything. and then there were times when i would get excited and i would get disappointed. it wasn't until a few years ago that i forgave him for that. but it still upsets me tho. i think that might be part of the reason for anger that i have brewing.idk...
overall i had a decent weekend. nothing too major but it was still good to get out of the house and take my mind off of things. this is a big week for me as well too. i might be getting some good news finally regarding my job so keep your fingers crossed for me.
peace&love
Monday, June 21, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
low
i have these feelings.....
these deep down feelings that i have never really addressed. built up anger that makes me so mad to the point where i feel like i have to cry. but i don't cry. i don't shed a tear. thats too easy. instead i let it dig deep into my inner feelings and i let it build....slowly....slowly....until it gets to the point to where years later, it comes back and shows itself and then i get these "highs and lows" mood swings. being depressed is something that i've seen other people go through, but not have i ever dealt with the feelings on a personal level. i thought that i was depressed when my ex and i broke up, but i think it was just heart break, because now i feel nothing. no emotion for certain things. i don't care. i feel anger and that's it. where is this coming from u ask? i have NO IDEA. all i can do is try to get better. i've cut myself off from twitter and fb and anything else that can prevent me from getting better. i don't want to hear from people that are trying to "make me feel better". those people can do NOTHING for me but make me more upset by their phoniness. anyways, that's all i have to say about this. i might write during this process, i might not. not sure. maybe i just need a long break from everything.
these deep down feelings that i have never really addressed. built up anger that makes me so mad to the point where i feel like i have to cry. but i don't cry. i don't shed a tear. thats too easy. instead i let it dig deep into my inner feelings and i let it build....slowly....slowly....until it gets to the point to where years later, it comes back and shows itself and then i get these "highs and lows" mood swings. being depressed is something that i've seen other people go through, but not have i ever dealt with the feelings on a personal level. i thought that i was depressed when my ex and i broke up, but i think it was just heart break, because now i feel nothing. no emotion for certain things. i don't care. i feel anger and that's it. where is this coming from u ask? i have NO IDEA. all i can do is try to get better. i've cut myself off from twitter and fb and anything else that can prevent me from getting better. i don't want to hear from people that are trying to "make me feel better". those people can do NOTHING for me but make me more upset by their phoniness. anyways, that's all i have to say about this. i might write during this process, i might not. not sure. maybe i just need a long break from everything.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
not sure about this
whenever i feel like something good is about to happened reality comes and slaps me in the face. this past weekend was nice. i enjoyed myself. but i think i jumped the gun on the situation. i was thinking that by her visiting would help us get closer and help us get on the path to becoming relationship ready. well to my surprise, it did everything but THAT. sometimes i think that people confuse their feelings and emotions with feelings from the past. u have to be ready to let go of things in order to move on. my friend hadn't. she's not at that point in her life where she can. and there is nothing wrong with that. i wish her the best the luck. i know that she had fun this weekend and that she will never forget it. neither will i. so here i am again. back at square one. but i'm not sad tho. i'm actually proud of myself for handling this the way that i have. the old me would have said some things that were hurtful but that wouldn't solve anything. Maturity #getsome
peace&love
peace&love
Friday, June 11, 2010
7 days later
hey everyone its FRIDAY!
i feel like this was the longest week of my life. i've been busy trying to get myself back on track and just trying to get my life in order. things are better between my cousin and myself. we had a talk and worked everything out. Prayer really does work folks. i really say that enough. i think my friend is going to let me use one of her cars until i can save up enough money to get a new one. i really am thankful for my friends in my life. they have really been supportive throughout all this. i don't know what i would have done without them. and for the icing on the cake, my friend is coming to town this weekend to visit. hopefully the weather will hold out and we can have a nice weekend. things are starting to turn around for the better. that's all for now. glad to finally have a smile on face. this has been a tough week for me
peace&love
i feel like this was the longest week of my life. i've been busy trying to get myself back on track and just trying to get my life in order. things are better between my cousin and myself. we had a talk and worked everything out. Prayer really does work folks. i really say that enough. i think my friend is going to let me use one of her cars until i can save up enough money to get a new one. i really am thankful for my friends in my life. they have really been supportive throughout all this. i don't know what i would have done without them. and for the icing on the cake, my friend is coming to town this weekend to visit. hopefully the weather will hold out and we can have a nice weekend. things are starting to turn around for the better. that's all for now. glad to finally have a smile on face. this has been a tough week for me
peace&love
Sunday, June 6, 2010
what a day
so right now, things in my life just made a complete 180. i feel like i moved 8 steps backwards and i am in the same boat i was in back in oct/nov of 2009. my cousin and i aren't on good terms and he wants to move out. it really says a lot to me that when things happen, and people attitudes change. but if i'm right about why he wants to move out, then that means he just doesn't care. my truck was stolen from my house a few nights ago. no one saw or heard a thing. police haven't seen anything or heard anything. so not only am i car-less, but my cousin wants to move out. when it rains it pours huh......
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
My bad lol
IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
man u guys i can't lie, i've been purposely holding back from writing because i was hoping to come back with some great news regarding my personal life, a new job, relocation blah blah blah, but i've got nothing new to bring you guys lol well i mean i do but not what i wanted to say. the job that i applied for, i didn't get. i was really down about it to because it was a great opportunity for me to grow and become more successful *NOT TO MENTION THAT I WOULD BE GETTING OUT OF MEMPHIS* but hey it just wasn't meant to be. my birthday was cool. went out with some friends. it was cool. i was a little disappointed that i didn't hear from or see certain people, but hey it is what it is. i got EVERYTHING that i asked for except the fitted yankee hat. i got like 16 boxes of mike and ike's lol i every box too #dontjudgeme lol i got a few movies and blu-ray dvds and i got season 7 of seinfeld too. so it was an overall good birthday.
let's see what else.....
oh! my social life......o_O
I started seeing this girl right around my birthday and it was cool. we went out on a few dates talked on the phone or whatever, but we just didn't have that connection, so we stopped talking shortly after. i wasn't upset about it honestly. there's no love lost between us so when i see her it's not bad vibes or anything. shortly after i her, i started talkin to someone else, but it started off being just friendly stuff. no real flirting or anything just kept it cool. then one night we stayed up and talked and things just.....changed. i think that when i meet girls that are out of the of a "memphis girl" i get excited and i start jumping the gun. long story short i had a 500 days of summer moment, but in reality it was more like a month, but not with all the emotions and feeling that occurred in the movie. some of the emotions though. you guys get what i'm trying to say lol but i got really excited because i met someone that i liked and liked me back, but she just wasn't ready. i kept saying to myself to just give her time and she will come around, but due to certain circumstances she never did. it hurt. it hurt bad because i knew better. but hey, thats life sometimes. so its back to square one for the kid...ALONE........ sometimes i wonder when my day will come, but then i get sad because i don't see it happening anytime soon, so i no longer wonder...
i have to admit that i have jumped ships and started a tumblr account. i kinda like it better because i can just say what i'm thinking RIGHT then and not have to go through the process of blogging. its like blogging on the go actually. but i'm not going anywhere. i haven't forgotten my roots lol so i will begin writing more as well. hey, i don't have anything but time now right :-/ that's all for now.....
peace&love
man u guys i can't lie, i've been purposely holding back from writing because i was hoping to come back with some great news regarding my personal life, a new job, relocation blah blah blah, but i've got nothing new to bring you guys lol well i mean i do but not what i wanted to say. the job that i applied for, i didn't get. i was really down about it to because it was a great opportunity for me to grow and become more successful *NOT TO MENTION THAT I WOULD BE GETTING OUT OF MEMPHIS* but hey it just wasn't meant to be. my birthday was cool. went out with some friends. it was cool. i was a little disappointed that i didn't hear from or see certain people, but hey it is what it is. i got EVERYTHING that i asked for except the fitted yankee hat. i got like 16 boxes of mike and ike's lol i every box too #dontjudgeme lol i got a few movies and blu-ray dvds and i got season 7 of seinfeld too. so it was an overall good birthday.
let's see what else.....
oh! my social life......o_O
I started seeing this girl right around my birthday and it was cool. we went out on a few dates talked on the phone or whatever, but we just didn't have that connection, so we stopped talking shortly after. i wasn't upset about it honestly. there's no love lost between us so when i see her it's not bad vibes or anything. shortly after i her, i started talkin to someone else, but it started off being just friendly stuff. no real flirting or anything just kept it cool. then one night we stayed up and talked and things just.....changed. i think that when i meet girls that are out of the of a "memphis girl" i get excited and i start jumping the gun. long story short i had a 500 days of summer moment, but in reality it was more like a month, but not with all the emotions and feeling that occurred in the movie. some of the emotions though. you guys get what i'm trying to say lol but i got really excited because i met someone that i liked and liked me back, but she just wasn't ready. i kept saying to myself to just give her time and she will come around, but due to certain circumstances she never did. it hurt. it hurt bad because i knew better. but hey, thats life sometimes. so its back to square one for the kid...ALONE........ sometimes i wonder when my day will come, but then i get sad because i don't see it happening anytime soon, so i no longer wonder...
i have to admit that i have jumped ships and started a tumblr account. i kinda like it better because i can just say what i'm thinking RIGHT then and not have to go through the process of blogging. its like blogging on the go actually. but i'm not going anywhere. i haven't forgotten my roots lol so i will begin writing more as well. hey, i don't have anything but time now right :-/ that's all for now.....
peace&love
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Bday coming soon!!!
whats good everyone!
shout out to my new blog followers, i dig all of you all's blogs and i will be commenting on your future posts, so feel free to do the same here. mi blogga su blogga or something like that lol
*side note* found some old janelle monae music online tonight and i'm liking it. if only i could date her. then my life would be complete lol
i don't think i've expressed it to you all, i know i did on twitter, but i've decided to grow my hair out a little and to let my beard grow out fuller. i had a full beard for months now and i cut it off a few weeks ago *biggest mistake* and now i want it back. i never grew my hair and beard at the same time so i'm gonna do it! besides, when i get married i know my wife ain't going for me having these different hair styles so i might as well get them out of my system now lol i can see her face now lookin like the mom from everybody hates chris sayin "negro, get your ass to the barber shop!" hahahahahaha oh yeah the workouts are going well too. my body is almost looking the way i want it to. working on your abs is the hardest part. its the most painful part of the workout. one of my buddies is real muscular and he helps me with different workouts to do. i don't know how he does it sometimes. that ish hurt too bad!!! lol
i applied to the new position at work and i'm really nervous about it. if i get this position its going to change a lot of things in my life for the better. i know that i'm perfect for the job, but its just a matter of "the powers that be" deciding if they should take a chance on me. i just need to get them in the room for the interview and i will take it from there. my personality and will power will take it from there. *random thought* someone told me i was stuck up the other day. clearly they don't know me. but i digress.......
my birthday is in ONE WEEK!!!! I'm really excited. so i made a list of things that i want for my birthday but i don't think that i'm going to get any of them for gifts, well maybe two but here's the list: yankee fitted hat, avatar on bluray, gift certificate to Express and mike and ike's green box candy. i'll let u guys decide what u think i will get lol but thats not too much to ask for right??? i mean its not like i said i want a pair of gucci slippers with the belt to match*although if anyone wants to get them for me, feel free lol* but i'm going to have a birthday dinner next wednesday at this mexican restaurant to celebrate and i can't wait. it's been a while since i really celebrated my birthday. the only thing that i'm concerned about is my different friends "meshing" together. i have a very.......wide variety lol of friends and idk how they are going to get along. i mean they may not even talk. they may just stay grouped up and talk to the people they know. who knows??? i mean its my birthday. i just want everyone to get along, have fun and have drinks. speaking of my birthday.....nah that's ok. i'll keep that to myself. lol it was a random, yet pointless thought. lol
peace&love
shout out to my new blog followers, i dig all of you all's blogs and i will be commenting on your future posts, so feel free to do the same here. mi blogga su blogga or something like that lol
*side note* found some old janelle monae music online tonight and i'm liking it. if only i could date her. then my life would be complete lol
i don't think i've expressed it to you all, i know i did on twitter, but i've decided to grow my hair out a little and to let my beard grow out fuller. i had a full beard for months now and i cut it off a few weeks ago *biggest mistake* and now i want it back. i never grew my hair and beard at the same time so i'm gonna do it! besides, when i get married i know my wife ain't going for me having these different hair styles so i might as well get them out of my system now lol i can see her face now lookin like the mom from everybody hates chris sayin "negro, get your ass to the barber shop!" hahahahahaha oh yeah the workouts are going well too. my body is almost looking the way i want it to. working on your abs is the hardest part. its the most painful part of the workout. one of my buddies is real muscular and he helps me with different workouts to do. i don't know how he does it sometimes. that ish hurt too bad!!! lol
i applied to the new position at work and i'm really nervous about it. if i get this position its going to change a lot of things in my life for the better. i know that i'm perfect for the job, but its just a matter of "the powers that be" deciding if they should take a chance on me. i just need to get them in the room for the interview and i will take it from there. my personality and will power will take it from there. *random thought* someone told me i was stuck up the other day. clearly they don't know me. but i digress.......
my birthday is in ONE WEEK!!!! I'm really excited. so i made a list of things that i want for my birthday but i don't think that i'm going to get any of them for gifts, well maybe two but here's the list: yankee fitted hat, avatar on bluray, gift certificate to Express and mike and ike's green box candy. i'll let u guys decide what u think i will get lol but thats not too much to ask for right??? i mean its not like i said i want a pair of gucci slippers with the belt to match*although if anyone wants to get them for me, feel free lol* but i'm going to have a birthday dinner next wednesday at this mexican restaurant to celebrate and i can't wait. it's been a while since i really celebrated my birthday. the only thing that i'm concerned about is my different friends "meshing" together. i have a very.......wide variety lol of friends and idk how they are going to get along. i mean they may not even talk. they may just stay grouped up and talk to the people they know. who knows??? i mean its my birthday. i just want everyone to get along, have fun and have drinks. speaking of my birthday.....nah that's ok. i'll keep that to myself. lol it was a random, yet pointless thought. lol
peace&love
Sunday, April 25, 2010
weekend update
i'm a little annoyed at the moment for whatever reason. But writing always makes me feel better. And thats just what i'm gonna do.....and listen to 808's and Heartbreaks
my weekend was a cool. a little crazy, but it was cool. on friday i went to this party at a friends house and i had a good time. a lot of people showed up so that was cool. i met yet another of my ex's friends. it was very awkward. it was one of those meetings like "aren't you...." but i really didnt let it bother me. i did however want to say something but i wasn't in the right mind to do so, so the next time i will speak my peace.......but back to the party......there was a fight. two girls. it was dumb. but here's the funny part. me and my homie are outside chillin with some girls and out of the blue someone runs to the door and shouts "COOKOO COOKOO" and the girls that were outside instantly knew what she was talking about. my thing was how the hell did they come up with this sound and decide on making it THE "sound". i would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that meeting lol but the girls ran inside to go find out who was fighting. come to find out it was about some nonsense that has been brewing all day from campus, but i dont really know more about it, nor do i care about that stuff.
there was something else that happened that night that really upset me, but i don't want to get into full details on it, but i will say this. there comes a time in your life when u have to realize that your actions speak louder than your words. u just have to grow up and some of my friends need to do that. i put myself in that box too. not as much as he needs to, but u guys get my point.
saturday i worked and today i didn't really do anything. Baxter and I went riding for a bit before the rain started and that was it. My birthday is coming up in 10 days and i'm really excited!!!! i've been thinking about what i want to do for it and i will tell u all later in the week and i will use you all's opinion and votes as well.....thats all for now. until next time
peace&love
my weekend was a cool. a little crazy, but it was cool. on friday i went to this party at a friends house and i had a good time. a lot of people showed up so that was cool. i met yet another of my ex's friends. it was very awkward. it was one of those meetings like "aren't you...." but i really didnt let it bother me. i did however want to say something but i wasn't in the right mind to do so, so the next time i will speak my peace.......but back to the party......there was a fight. two girls. it was dumb. but here's the funny part. me and my homie are outside chillin with some girls and out of the blue someone runs to the door and shouts "COOKOO COOKOO" and the girls that were outside instantly knew what she was talking about. my thing was how the hell did they come up with this sound and decide on making it THE "sound". i would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that meeting lol but the girls ran inside to go find out who was fighting. come to find out it was about some nonsense that has been brewing all day from campus, but i dont really know more about it, nor do i care about that stuff.
there was something else that happened that night that really upset me, but i don't want to get into full details on it, but i will say this. there comes a time in your life when u have to realize that your actions speak louder than your words. u just have to grow up and some of my friends need to do that. i put myself in that box too. not as much as he needs to, but u guys get my point.
saturday i worked and today i didn't really do anything. Baxter and I went riding for a bit before the rain started and that was it. My birthday is coming up in 10 days and i'm really excited!!!! i've been thinking about what i want to do for it and i will tell u all later in the week and i will use you all's opinion and votes as well.....thats all for now. until next time
peace&love
Thursday, April 22, 2010
i'm ready......
I've been having this..........feeling....... for a few weeks now. but I've been fighting it. I've denied it. But it keeps showing itself to me whether its been in my dreams or just in my everyday thoughts. i told myself that maybe it was just because of the music i listen to or maybe because i'm at the house alone.....that's not it either. the fact remains.........I'm ready to be in a relationship. I'm ready to give myself to someone and enjoy all the benefits of being with her.
I've enjoyed the past 3 1/2 months of "dating" and meeting new people. some were better than others. some were a complete waste of my time. But each one of them made me realize what I NEED, not what i want. And although, i can't possible get EVERYTHING that i want from one woman, i DO know that the important things are definitely attainable. Some of the girls that i have met, could have been a girl that i could have been in a relationship with, but it was just bad timing. I've had fun at the clubs and going out every weekend, getting drunk with the fellas, but i'm ready to just chill with that special one. i want us to go places in Memphis that we normally wouldn't think to go. I've found a few places in the mid town/ downtown area that look exciting to go to, but I'm not go to these places alone and look like a spaz lol i don't think i took advantage of that in my former relationship. Sure we had times when we just chilled but i don't remember us just enjoying each others company like we should have. there were times when we'd spend the entire day together, but we still argued for the majority of the day, and then we'd make up and for the last hour or so we'd be together, we would be cool again. Definitely not doing that again lol i really did learn a lot about myself looking back at my previous relationship. i did a lot of good but more bad than good. its all apart of growing up though.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm about to just jump into a relationship with the next girl i meet, because that would be stupid. lol i AM however going to focus more on the things i need from a woman instead of the want, because the "want" has been winning a lot lately and its time for a change.
I've enjoyed the past 3 1/2 months of "dating" and meeting new people. some were better than others. some were a complete waste of my time. But each one of them made me realize what I NEED, not what i want. And although, i can't possible get EVERYTHING that i want from one woman, i DO know that the important things are definitely attainable. Some of the girls that i have met, could have been a girl that i could have been in a relationship with, but it was just bad timing. I've had fun at the clubs and going out every weekend, getting drunk with the fellas, but i'm ready to just chill with that special one. i want us to go places in Memphis that we normally wouldn't think to go. I've found a few places in the mid town/ downtown area that look exciting to go to, but I'm not go to these places alone and look like a spaz lol i don't think i took advantage of that in my former relationship. Sure we had times when we just chilled but i don't remember us just enjoying each others company like we should have. there were times when we'd spend the entire day together, but we still argued for the majority of the day, and then we'd make up and for the last hour or so we'd be together, we would be cool again. Definitely not doing that again lol i really did learn a lot about myself looking back at my previous relationship. i did a lot of good but more bad than good. its all apart of growing up though.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm about to just jump into a relationship with the next girl i meet, because that would be stupid. lol i AM however going to focus more on the things i need from a woman instead of the want, because the "want" has been winning a lot lately and its time for a change.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
issues resolved
a few entries ago i wrote about having issues with being "friends" with my ex girlfriends friends. and i have decided on not to say anthing. my ex hit me up and we talked about it. but she didn't exactly get into her opinion on it, but she thought that it would be best if i expressed how i felt to them. but honestly, i'm not really concerned about them.i dont see/speak to them enough to care. speaking on my ex, last sunday she sent me a text that really meant a lot to me. for the longest now, i've felt a certain way about how things ended between her and myself and it was nice to hear her say what i thought she didn't feel. i dont really want to get into what was said, but it was needed for me to completely move on. because honestly, when u have a brake up and it wasn't on good terms, there are things that need to be said, for both sides to feel............closure.maybe not both sides because i can only speak for myself. don't get me wrong, i HAVE moved on, but there was a small portion of me that needed to hear that to be 100%.......idk. i think i'm rambling now. smh
Friday, April 16, 2010
as for amy giveaway
hey everyone!!!
for all of my followers, check out my fellow blogger amy's give away! http://asforamy.blogspot.com/2010/04/giveaway-made-simple.html
but don't enter to win because i want to win hahahahahaha jk jk, but more importantly, check out her blog. its pretty dope.
hope you guys are having a great weekend!
for all of my followers, check out my fellow blogger amy's give away! http://asforamy.blogspot.com/2010/04/giveaway-made-simple.html
but don't enter to win because i want to win hahahahahaha jk jk, but more importantly, check out her blog. its pretty dope.
hope you guys are having a great weekend!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
weekend update, single ladies
hey everyone!!!
i have been sick the past couple days so i haven't been able to update u all on what has been going on. i'm feeling better but i'm not 100% i'm probably at 65% i guess. i feel well enough to go to class today but i'm probably not gonna go to work today. i have some pto left so i'll use one of those days. but anywho, let me get u all caught up.....
this weekend was fun. i went out friday and saturday night. friday i went to happy mexican and had some drinks with some new friends. i had a great time. i never had a margarita from there before and i've heard that they are pretty strong, but i always figured people got drunk because of the size of the drinks.....WRONG. i drank a beer with my meal and decided to order one after i ate. folks, when i say it tasted like a bowl of tequila i'm not kidding. so i downed my bowl, and we all went to this house party. well before we left the restaurant, this young lady and myself were feeling each other a little bit and after the liquor settled in we really became close. so we get to the party and she and i are talkin dancin a bit, laughin, flirting. well the party ends and we decide to exchange numbers. well, i take her number down and i put her name in my phone and she says "wait. thats not my name." i was like "yes it is." the entire night folks, i swear she told me her name was jasmine. after a back and forth battle for 2min she finally tells me her name....it was jessica. #o_O So the next morning i wake up and i look to her name and send her a text, how bout i only took down 6 numbers. clearly this isn't meant to be. her friend gave me the number again, but at this point its almost like whats the point. she hadn't called me at all, so i mean i'm not trippin. its not like when i see her again i'm gonna have this mean attitude. but i just thought that it was funny, because A)i'm not big on gettin anyones number while drunk B)well there isn't a B. LOL but naturally i am terrible with remembering peoples names, thats why a majority of my friends have nicknames. besides my home boy told me that she smashed the homies anyways so whatever.....on to the next lol
on twitter lately, there's been this craze to talk about relationships and how there aren't any good men/women out there. i saw a documentary on black women and how they said that 42% of black women have NEVER been married. thats RIDICULOUS!!!! there are 1.8 million more black women then men. so i know that there is definitely one out there for me lol, but here's the conflict, people have to realize that the "stanards" that they have aren't real standards. like a man can't eat pork or he can't drink or smoke or he can't under 6ft tall. dumb ish like that will make u the 43rd%. i used to say that i would never date a girl that wore weave. my ex wore it(still laughing at that wig lol) i said i would never date a girl that had a child. in todays society, the odds of finding someone that doesn't have a kid isn't rare, but they are hard to come by. thing i look for in a woman are things like education level, relationship with God, her family, her moral values is what i'm gettin at. u can't have this laundry list of random things that u know you will never find in a person. i still don't prefer a woman that wears a weave, but if she does it has to look real. i'm not dating someone that has a weave like nikki manaj. i think if we just sat down and thought about it we would find the one for us.
also if u still out here sleeping around with every tom, dick and harry, what makes u think you can find a good man? i know this girl that prefers to sleep with a certain frat and she has slept with this one guy and his fraternity brothers for about a year now and she runs off at the mouth that "niggas aint shit". no ma'am YOU aint ish. keep your legs closed. i have a home boy, he says he's going to settle down and be with one girl, but every time i look up, he in some broad face "spittin game". at what age do u you realize that that shit is for the birds. yeah being single has its down times, but i'd much rather be alone than to be know as the guy thats sleeps with every girl he meets. and women know when a guy is easy. they talk just like men talk about women. u may think that u playin them, but the girl will have the last laugh homie. cuz they laughin at you everytime u come around.
but anywho, thats all i have for now. i have another post i have to post but i'll do it this afternoon.
peace&love
i have been sick the past couple days so i haven't been able to update u all on what has been going on. i'm feeling better but i'm not 100% i'm probably at 65% i guess. i feel well enough to go to class today but i'm probably not gonna go to work today. i have some pto left so i'll use one of those days. but anywho, let me get u all caught up.....
this weekend was fun. i went out friday and saturday night. friday i went to happy mexican and had some drinks with some new friends. i had a great time. i never had a margarita from there before and i've heard that they are pretty strong, but i always figured people got drunk because of the size of the drinks.....WRONG. i drank a beer with my meal and decided to order one after i ate. folks, when i say it tasted like a bowl of tequila i'm not kidding. so i downed my bowl, and we all went to this house party. well before we left the restaurant, this young lady and myself were feeling each other a little bit and after the liquor settled in we really became close. so we get to the party and she and i are talkin dancin a bit, laughin, flirting. well the party ends and we decide to exchange numbers. well, i take her number down and i put her name in my phone and she says "wait. thats not my name." i was like "yes it is." the entire night folks, i swear she told me her name was jasmine. after a back and forth battle for 2min she finally tells me her name....it was jessica. #o_O So the next morning i wake up and i look to her name and send her a text, how bout i only took down 6 numbers. clearly this isn't meant to be. her friend gave me the number again, but at this point its almost like whats the point. she hadn't called me at all, so i mean i'm not trippin. its not like when i see her again i'm gonna have this mean attitude. but i just thought that it was funny, because A)i'm not big on gettin anyones number while drunk B)well there isn't a B. LOL but naturally i am terrible with remembering peoples names, thats why a majority of my friends have nicknames. besides my home boy told me that she smashed the homies anyways so whatever.....on to the next lol
on twitter lately, there's been this craze to talk about relationships and how there aren't any good men/women out there. i saw a documentary on black women and how they said that 42% of black women have NEVER been married. thats RIDICULOUS!!!! there are 1.8 million more black women then men. so i know that there is definitely one out there for me lol, but here's the conflict, people have to realize that the "stanards" that they have aren't real standards. like a man can't eat pork or he can't drink or smoke or he can't under 6ft tall. dumb ish like that will make u the 43rd%. i used to say that i would never date a girl that wore weave. my ex wore it(still laughing at that wig lol) i said i would never date a girl that had a child. in todays society, the odds of finding someone that doesn't have a kid isn't rare, but they are hard to come by. thing i look for in a woman are things like education level, relationship with God, her family, her moral values is what i'm gettin at. u can't have this laundry list of random things that u know you will never find in a person. i still don't prefer a woman that wears a weave, but if she does it has to look real. i'm not dating someone that has a weave like nikki manaj. i think if we just sat down and thought about it we would find the one for us.
also if u still out here sleeping around with every tom, dick and harry, what makes u think you can find a good man? i know this girl that prefers to sleep with a certain frat and she has slept with this one guy and his fraternity brothers for about a year now and she runs off at the mouth that "niggas aint shit". no ma'am YOU aint ish. keep your legs closed. i have a home boy, he says he's going to settle down and be with one girl, but every time i look up, he in some broad face "spittin game". at what age do u you realize that that shit is for the birds. yeah being single has its down times, but i'd much rather be alone than to be know as the guy thats sleeps with every girl he meets. and women know when a guy is easy. they talk just like men talk about women. u may think that u playin them, but the girl will have the last laugh homie. cuz they laughin at you everytime u come around.
but anywho, thats all i have for now. i have another post i have to post but i'll do it this afternoon.
peace&love
Friday, April 9, 2010
song of the day
so like i said last night i was going to post an old school song of the day so here it is! ENJOY! have a great weekend folks. be safe and God Bless
attitude and wasting my "time"
i haven't blogged in a few days because i've been battling this......attitude....but not like a bad attitude. its more like a "should a care attitude". as u all know i've become close with 2 of my ex's bestfriends. i really wouldn't say close either. i'm cool (yeah thats the word) with them. but one of them, kinda has this way about her that bothers me sometimes. its like sometimes she's real friendly and then there are times when she's distant. my homeboy, who is VERY close with them, tells me about conversations that they have had about me in the past and they have said things about me, but its only things that my ex has told them, but everything that she has said about me, isn't true. But with them being her friend, the are obviously going to be on her side. that's not the issue tho. my problem is i wish that they would either let it go or don't come around. i mean, they don't have to talk to me or come around when i'm there. i mean, don't get me wrong, i actually enjoy them. they are really cool girls. they keep me laughing. but i want them to accept me and just be cool ya know. i mean if u don't like me, why add me on twitter and talk to me? i remember my ex saying somethings about them and my homeboy he's told me things that confirms the things that she has said, but i don't look at them any differently. i just wish that they would do it too. i really feel like sitting them down and just getting everything out in the air so we can get to the root of it. but at the same time i feel like sayin eff'it and just not care about it.
u ever feel like you're time is being wasted because its not being used?? lol well thats how i feel. the past few days, i've been feeling "some kinda way" but not in the way. i feel like i shouldn't be at my house alone at 1am typing a blog. lol i feel like i should be spending my time with someone that i care about. being single just has its moments i guess. this must be one of them. #ejshrug
btw my twitter name is @EJ_theKid follow me.
well thats all i have for now. gettin a little sleepy and i need to get up for class in the morning. i'll try to post a song of the day tomorrow too. its an old school song. i heard it today on my way to work and i sang every word. i'll give u guys a hint: uni brow lol
peace&love
u ever feel like you're time is being wasted because its not being used?? lol well thats how i feel. the past few days, i've been feeling "some kinda way" but not in the way. i feel like i shouldn't be at my house alone at 1am typing a blog. lol i feel like i should be spending my time with someone that i care about. being single just has its moments i guess. this must be one of them. #ejshrug
btw my twitter name is @EJ_theKid follow me.
well thats all i have for now. gettin a little sleepy and i need to get up for class in the morning. i'll try to post a song of the day tomorrow too. its an old school song. i heard it today on my way to work and i sang every word. i'll give u guys a hint: uni brow lol
peace&love
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Easter and the weekend update
hey everyone!!! Happy Easter to you all!!
did you guys eat well? i know i did! i'm still stuffed lol i have a few things to discuss tonight so lets get into it shall we.....
after i posted my previous entry, i felt a lot better. my attitude is much improved. in fact the dreams have stopped, but the sleep is still an issue. but i may see a specialist about it. i've tried everything else so i might as well give it a try right??? i started working out last week too. i'm tryin to gain 10 pounds by june. i know what u guys are thinking, but i really have a hard time gaining weight. my 11 yr old cousin weighs more than i do and he eats the same amount of food i eat. lol this week i'm going to GNC to get some protein bars to help me keep the weight on. i've only been workin out for a few days, but i can already see a small improvement in my physique. all i need to work on my is my abs. those are the hardest things to get. no wonder people come out with those lazy ab builders so that they don't have to actually work for them. but i am focused and i am ready to walk around without a shirt on and so i can hit em with the flex while lookin at my watch while i tell someone the time hahahahahahaha jk jk.
this weekend i really didn't do much. i went to a birthday dinner at PF Chang's on friday night and afterward we kinda hung out for a bit and then i went to walmart to purchase some things. saturday night i went to Huey's to watch my Blue Devils win! one more game and we will become NCAA Champions!! after that i came home and watched a movie. i wanted to go see clash of the titans and the tyler perry movie, but i knew that the theaters where going to be too crowded, so i will go Wednesday afternoon after class.
my ex came by my job friday night. we talked for a few. it was cool. it was kinda weird seein her after havin all the dreams i had about her. we also talked later on that night when i got off. i enjoyed the convo we had.i'll admit i probably enjoyed it a little more than i should, but again, like i said last week, she and i always have good conversations. i had a few concerns about it though, BUT after thinking on it and talking to the big homie and another friend about it, i came to the conclusion that what i was bothered with was really nothing. i already felt that i was thinking too much on it, but i just wanted to discuss it with them to make sure that i wasn't crazy. sometimes its good to just think and listen before you actually do something. i find myself thinking more rather than reacting as of late. i really feel myself growing with each day that passes and i feel closer to the day that i meet someone that's going to fill that void i'm missing. but for now, i'm 100% comfortable in the shoes that i'm in.
thats all i have for now. hope you all have a great day! i was watching notorious while i wrote this and this song was in the movie and i immediately remembered when this song came out when i was a kid. had no idea it was about biggie back then. do u remember?? lol
PEACE&LOVE
did you guys eat well? i know i did! i'm still stuffed lol i have a few things to discuss tonight so lets get into it shall we.....
after i posted my previous entry, i felt a lot better. my attitude is much improved. in fact the dreams have stopped, but the sleep is still an issue. but i may see a specialist about it. i've tried everything else so i might as well give it a try right??? i started working out last week too. i'm tryin to gain 10 pounds by june. i know what u guys are thinking, but i really have a hard time gaining weight. my 11 yr old cousin weighs more than i do and he eats the same amount of food i eat. lol this week i'm going to GNC to get some protein bars to help me keep the weight on. i've only been workin out for a few days, but i can already see a small improvement in my physique. all i need to work on my is my abs. those are the hardest things to get. no wonder people come out with those lazy ab builders so that they don't have to actually work for them. but i am focused and i am ready to walk around without a shirt on and so i can hit em with the flex while lookin at my watch while i tell someone the time hahahahahahaha jk jk.
this weekend i really didn't do much. i went to a birthday dinner at PF Chang's on friday night and afterward we kinda hung out for a bit and then i went to walmart to purchase some things. saturday night i went to Huey's to watch my Blue Devils win! one more game and we will become NCAA Champions!! after that i came home and watched a movie. i wanted to go see clash of the titans and the tyler perry movie, but i knew that the theaters where going to be too crowded, so i will go Wednesday afternoon after class.
my ex came by my job friday night. we talked for a few. it was cool. it was kinda weird seein her after havin all the dreams i had about her. we also talked later on that night when i got off. i enjoyed the convo we had.i'll admit i probably enjoyed it a little more than i should, but again, like i said last week, she and i always have good conversations. i had a few concerns about it though, BUT after thinking on it and talking to the big homie and another friend about it, i came to the conclusion that what i was bothered with was really nothing. i already felt that i was thinking too much on it, but i just wanted to discuss it with them to make sure that i wasn't crazy. sometimes its good to just think and listen before you actually do something. i find myself thinking more rather than reacting as of late. i really feel myself growing with each day that passes and i feel closer to the day that i meet someone that's going to fill that void i'm missing. but for now, i'm 100% comfortable in the shoes that i'm in.
thats all i have for now. hope you all have a great day! i was watching notorious while i wrote this and this song was in the movie and i immediately remembered when this song came out when i was a kid. had no idea it was about biggie back then. do u remember?? lol
PEACE&LOVE
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