it was all a dream

so last night i had a dream.....

it was about my ex's. ALL of them. they were all in a room and each one of them had something to say to me. My first girlfriend, tiffany, i saw her first. i walked up to her, hugged her and before i could get any words out, she kisses me. it was like i could feel it. passionate. then she slapped me. she told how mad at me she was for not coming to nashville and being with her at school. i told her i had to leave memphis and this isn't where i was suppose to be. she started cryin and said "you're the reason why i'm married to HIM!" she's pointing in the direction that "he" was in and i walk in that direction and then i see another ex, Asha. Now with Asha, it went differently. she wouldn't look me in the face. i remember in the dream that i was trying to make her look up but she wouldn't. all she kept sayin was "why?? why did u leave me? i loved you. why did u do this to me? why did u do this to me?" but she wouldn't cry. that would be giving me too much power over her. when i opened my mouth to "explain" nothing came out. i really had nothing to say. not because i'm an asshole, but because i didn't know what to tell her to make things right. i just hugged her and walked away.....

now here's where the dream got tricky. there where other girls i dated, but they were in pictures. not actually real people. their eyes moved when i walked by but they didn't say anything. then i walked out the room and i saw my most recent ex, danielle. she grabbed my hands and she said "you were my everything. BUT he's ALL i need." but instead of me walking away. she did. now i'm not sure what exactly this dream represents, but it was really strange considering the fact that i don't think of any of them on a daily basis. i may see something and it brings back a memory but thats as far as it goes. one could say that i have commitment issues. that's a possibility. but i really woke up this morning like WTF was that about.

NICE GUYS

So yesterday I’m on twitter and I see someone tweet “guys trust women too easily” or something along the lines of that. I read it. Thought about it. Even tried to see things from a different angle. And right when I started to respond to it, big homie had already taken care of it. I’m so sick and tired of women saying that men are too nice or that they don’t like the nice guy and they want a guy that has a little….”edge.” don’t get me wrong. I AM a nice guy. But a pushover I am not by a long shot. I simply respect women and I try to treat women the way they should be. I don’t call them bitch or ho or anything else that’s disrespectful. Then women say, I want a REAL MAN. Someone that’s not with the bullshit and games. Hmmmmmmm……. Let’s think about that. If you only date guys like slim thug and Gucci Mane, what do you expect. Stop complaining about things when YOU are the one that’s in control over who YOU date!! That’s like me sayin I want a good girl, but I only look for girls at the club with damn near no clothes on #o_ O. C’mon people. Let’s be real here. I’ll admit that I do complain about the quality of women in the city of Memphis, but I’m honestly looking in the best places. Which means that I know what I’m doing wrong and first thing that I’m changing is my age requirement. It’s all about being honest with yourself. The sooner women AND men do this the better place this world will be.

no internet

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!


it feels so good to be back!!!! man i have so much to catch u guys up on. i haven't had the internet at the house for a min but i'm going to change blogger sites most likely so i can blog from my phone. Or i might just blog when i'm on campus waiting for class to start. so without further delay, here it goes!!!

first of i wanna say welcome! to my new follwers. i didn't know i could get more followers while not blogging for almost a month lol but anywho, thanks for joining. don't be afraid to comment. um, christmas was cool. nothing happened. i moved into my new house 3 days after christmas and it was a huge disaster(those of you who follow me on twitter already know the story) but now everything is getting itself worked out and its starting to become a home instead of it looking like a house. new years was cool. i can't go into details (what happens on new years eve, stays in new years eve) but i made some "new" friends that night and no its not what u think lol the "streak" still continues. 7months and counting of no sex. i also have a few new years resolutions i want to share with you all. but not today because i'm kinda rushed for time lol

work is going well. i'm actually getting ready for my trip next month i wanna say or in march but i'm ready for this free week long trip to a new warm city. i'm crossing my fingers hoping that its in LA this time. last week was the worst week of my life. i wrecked my truck, found out that license was suspended(for something that i went to court for in MARCH OF 2009!!!) got arrested for it and i have misdemeanor. yeah i know FML!!!!!! BUT i get EVERYTHING taken care of and its going to be off my record as soon as i go to court for it next week. i also want to thank everyone that gave me rides for those days and for taking me to the dmv to get my license back. my truck looks like it wasn't even in a wreck. last week, well 2 weeks ago now, i was just feeling really down because i just felt like something was going to happen because everything was just going so smoothly and then BOOM! all that happened in 1 DAY! But i didn't give up and get everything that i needed to get done in 2 days! i missed the first 2 days of my classes but i was able to arrange my schedule around so i really only missed 1 day. so thats cool. i really am proud of myself gettin this done because in the past i prolly would have just waited at home and just waited for people to come help me or whatever. but i was up every morning at 6:45am doing what i needed to get done. #SLAPHANDS #POW lol

social life......ok so about those friends i met. lets just say NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS. i met these girls almost 2 yrs ago. well one of them i never actually met but we knew who each other where, anywho, i bumped into them one night at the club and it was like "get the hell outta my face vibe" then a week later i saw them again and it was like "hey! i'm drunk. your drunk lets be friends." but we actually ended up having a conversation while drunk and we got cool. i'll admit when i woke up the next morning i was thinking " did that really happen" lol but hey, God puts people in your life for specific reasons. So i'm really interested in seein how this goes. we talk via twitter and whatnot and laugh and joke so its cool. its just crazy how life turns, flips and rolls. as far as me dating goes, well i'm not. lol i meet girls. nice ones. cute ones. but no one has yet to just stand out. well some of them do but for the wrong reasons. to all my female followers, please don't be afraid to tell us that you aren't interested or your dating other guys, because its not going to hurt our feelings. now when u "act funny" thats when we have to put you in the do not fuck with category. lol and once you go there, there's no coming back. so the search continues. i used to hate this process, but now i despise it because it just keep going further and further downhill. don't you just love the single life???? lol but i have been going out a lot and having fun with the TEMPS lol i've gone out more in less then 1 month of 2010 than i did in ALLLLLL of 2009. even though i had a rough week, 2010 is going to be a GREAT year!!!!!

thats all i have for now. until next time, peace&love......

ex-citing

so today was an interesting day. a little random mixed with wtf and a side of i guess. my ex called me today. i know what your thinking here we go again but no. lol it wasn't like that. she was in the mall and wanted to see me. now my first mind was "if i'm so crazy and determined to ruin YOUR life, and i was making up the story that YOU told me" why do u want to see me? like if he's THAT much better than me. why do u want to want to see me? BUT instead, i played nice and i'm actually glad that i did because deep down....i wanted to see her too. we caught up on what each other were up to and whatnot. she said that she was happy for me with all the success that i've come across. we laughed a bit and then we hugged and she went on about her way. honestly i just want to know.....why? why today. after 7 weeks. is there a reason for her contacting me? has she not let go completely? does she want to be friends? or was it just a "i was thinking about you and i wanted to see how you were doing" thing. like i'm really confused. i just wish that i had more time to actually ask more questions. questions that are relevant to my feelings.... after todays talk, i could see us being friends......eventually. but not today or tomorrow or the day after that.....what do you guys think about it?.............

there was some other things that happened today but i'm not legally able to go into details about it, but just know that justice was served to 2 women today. i love my job and i do it well lol

well thats my time, i gotta long day tomorrow and i'm cooking for some friends when i get off so with that said, off to bed i go!

peace&love

weekend wrap up

wassup everyone!!!!

man i gotta do better about my posts. it's like i want to blog, but i'm so sleepy when i get off i don't feel like doing anything besides gettin in my bed and going to sleep. but FINALLY, i'm here and energized enough to blog. so whats been going on you all ask?......



work has been goin fine. its just difficult having a boss that doesn't actually live in the same state and having to communicate thru email and delayed phone calls. so i have to make certain decisions on my own that i don't have a problem making, but i would feel more comfortable having her around. honestly i think i'm just used to having to ask before i make a move when i do my "job" whereas now, i'm my own boss. its weird. i think i'm just rambling now...next subject

my weekend....


let me start off by sayin this, if you know me, you all know that i like to have fun and i'm always crackin jokes. i'm rarely in bad moods, and have attitude issues. so with that said let me continue...

i stopped by the 335 this weekend to hang out with some friends. i met another one of my followers which was cool. she's a bit loud lol but what black woman isn't lol jk jk she was drinkin so i'll give her a pass, ANYWHO, we are all playing this game and at first the game was going in favor to my friends on the other team. mainly because myself and my teammates have never played this game. i'm a competitive guy so, losing i don't take likely but its a board game so it really wasn't that big of deal, well one of my teammates started to get sensitive about the game and just went off on my like for NO REASON. like she was sayin " don't talk to me. and you takin this game too far." sayin how i was being too serious about losing and that i was jokin on her too much *yes, she's a grown woman btw * my response to her was as followed " i have yet to get mad at any point in this game. i was frustrated earlier because i didn't know how the game was played but at no point was i EVER mad" like how on earth could she even say that i was jokin on her too much, but she was crackin jokes on me the whole night. like don't come at me sayin i'm doing too much but you doin the exact same thing. the young lady that i had JUST met that evening, we were jokin like we've known each other for years. like no one said anything about each other crackin jokes on the other too much. we were having a great time laughin and playin the rigged game lol so i just left before i actaully allowed her to get me upset. from now on i just won't play with her like i do everyone else. it really bothers me when people do that. if u can't take a joke, don't joke with me. period. we are too grown to be having these issues.

i've been thinkin about changing my blog up. how i want to change it, don't ask. lol but i know i want to do something different. is it just me or does this holiday season feel like a regular month. it doesn't feel like christmas time at all. i mean i see the trees, lights, santa etc.. but it just doesn't feel right. idk if its because i'm single or if i'm not going to houston to meet my family or what. but it just doesn't feel like "christmas". maybe its because i'm older and my days of gifts galore are behind me. speakin of the holidays, i have NO idea what i want to do for new years eve. i wanna go to this event downtown but i hate going to holiday parties alone and being that i don't see myself taking anyone, i probably won't go. the other option is stayin at home in my house, listen to some music and sip some good wine and enjoy the fact that i have a nice home. i actually went by the house tonight after work and it looks really nice. all they have left to install is the stove and refrigerator and i can move in. i got a little teary eyed from the thought of how far i've come. there were times when i felt like giving up and take the easy road and move to houston and live with my pops, but with the help of "KI100 talks" wit the big homie, it helped me keep going. its people that i've known for years that didn't care or don't even know my situation. i've know big homie for a few months and he helped me more than ANY of them and i thank him for it. i feel like i really have an older brother, mature person to look up to finally.

i think thats all i have for now. i have another post to make but i'm gonna wait until after christmas before i post it. so with that said, merry christmas to you all and happy holidays! i'm sure i will blog on christmas eve or christmas so be on the look out for that..

peace&love

song of the day again and nothing to brag about

hey folks!


how was your day? today was cool day. i met my regional manager today. real cool guy. he told me that he was really impressed with my work so far and that the company has already made a great improvement since i've been there! POW!!!


my social life is...... awkward. everyday someone different is either doin something to get themselves removed or something good to get themselves "in". i'm not really sure how to take it honestly. its not like i'm tryin to date them or anything, its just funny how you meet people. #randomthought

i really don't have anything else to talk about. well i do, but its not really worth bloggin about.oh! wait! pause* the crush is crushed. no longer feelin it. isn't it funny how you get to know your crushes and you become completely turned off? its like all i want you to do is look cute. don't talk tho lol......

i haven't done a song of the day in a long time and since my lil big sister been beggin me to go back to that, instead of having music played automatically, here's the song of the day. its 50cent new song "just a little bit". i heard him perform it last night on some show and i really like it....well the hook and the instrumentals lol 50 rappin skills aren't what they used to be. but all that aside, i get the point he was tryin to make with this song. its a question that at some point in a past relationship we wish we could ask the person....do you think about me? i feel ya 50, i've been there lol so with that said, enjoy the song

peace and love

new job, cute youngin, rain, 335, fox&hound and everything else

yo yo yo!!!!
how are u guys?????? did u miss me???

i am soooooo sorry i have been MIA lately on my blog but i've been so busy i just haven't been able to do anything but work, work, work. but tonight i said i wasn't going to sleep until i updated my readers on my life. thank you for the harassing tweets, texts, and comments asking me when i was gonna blog again.lol so here it goes


first things first.....the new job

so, i really love/hate my new job. i love it because of the environment and the location. i have met some really interesting people in short 2weeks that i have been here. i'm the only guy that works there and i love it. i'm like the big brother to younger girls and the older women i'm like a son to them. they constantly come and check up on me when i'm talkin to girls at work tellin me "she not the one
or "u better not call that girl" and my reply EVERYTIME is "i'd never do a thing like that. i'm only about the sales." this past weekend, the store manager was in awe of the many women that were tryin to talk to me. oh and i work with mainly white women. like white white women lol they are so funny. they try to dance and rap and they sound so terrible and they have such open discussions abo ut EVERYTHING and i'm like "do u guys realize that i'm standing RIGHT HERE!!" lol there's a few black women that work there too. but they don't act white, these some real black women. lol but the reason why i said that i hate it is that i really have my work cut out for me at this place. they are expecting me to do my job and to do it well from day one. it was a little frustrating at first because it was soooo out of order when i got there, but i think i have it under control now. all i need to do know is to get some support from the DM to get me some extra freedom to really do my job. i have a lot ideas but i don't want to just jump in and change things without getting the OK before i do it. i'll get my chance to talk to her this week, so cross your fingers that i'm gonna be able to do what i need to do without gettin a NO answer.


so a few of you already know about the little "crush" i had on a young lady i met about 2 weeks ago. i had been wanting to say something to her for a min now and i actually had the chance to say something back when i first met her, but i didn't want to come off like i just met you but can i get your number. you guys know thats not my style lol. so i waited until i was ready. well this past friday, she and i got a chance to talk and get to know each other better. we didn't really get to talk about the things i wanted to because we ran out of time......lets just say she wasn't what i wanted her to be. not that shes a bad person but she has a LOT of growing up to do but all of that will come with age and i don't think that i'm willing to stick around for that. but i will say this, the girl makes me laugh like no other and i like that. so for now its just that, fun. we'll see where it goes....

my house!!!!!

i've been blessed to move into another house, but this time its mine! my cousin is going to live with me to pay half the rent. the owner of the house is charging me a great price that i couldn't say no to. i'm gettin new everything put into the house. its hard wood floors throughout the house, new stove, refrigerator, new washer and dryer. its a nice house and the best part is that i can afford to pay for the house, my car note and still live comfortably and be able to save money at the same time. i feel really good about my decision. the only bad thing about it is that i will be so far from my job and starting in February, my job should be paying me to drive to and from work so i will be saving more money with that too! i was going to move into this apt downtown that was going to charge me a little more than what i am going to be paying for the house, but why get a room, when u can get a whole house? we will be able to move in by the 25th and i can't wait!! so be on the look out for the invite to the house warming party. U MUST BRING A GIFT THAT CAN BE USED FOR THE HOUSE! NO GIFT #NODICE lol

social life......


last night i went out and got drunk lol for the first time in months. i went out with a few co-worker to this place by my current house called Rain. my ex and i tried to go there one night, but they already closed the kitchen down so we didn't get to actually go, but this time i did and i enjoyed it. i had a few beers and sake. a lot of sake. after we left there i finally made it to 335 lol and i had fun. i got to see my old high school buddy and i got meet 2(now 3) of my followers on twitter and i had a good time. i hate that my first time meeting them i was a little drunk but they were cool wit it. i also noticed something else while i was there, but i probably won't speak on it now. i will wait. most likely i won't even talk about it again besides now, but anywho, i had fun. after i left there, i met up with my co workers again and we hung out at this bar called fox and hound. this is where it got interesting. one of my co-workers share with me something that i was NOT prepared to see. it was rather interesting, but i know now*and i also already knew this*but last night confirmed that somethings are meant to just be left alone. i don't think that i will partaking in that lol but overall, i had a fun night out. i needed it. its been a while since i've actually hung out with anyone other than my dog so it was nice to actually hold a conversation. lol

so i think that just about sums it all up. i've caught you all up on pretty much everything...new job, new house, new friends. life is good. i can pretty much thank the good man upstairs for everything. i definitely didn't see things turning out the way they did, but i thank Him for it. well thats all i have. u guys can do what u do best...comment lol

peace&love

been busy folks

wassup folks,

i haven't forgotten about u all. i've been hella busy with school and my new job and other stuff. but i promise i'm gonna blog this afternoon or this evening after work. i have a lot to catch u a guys up on. so with that said, stay tuned......

peace

dreaming/thinking of you

i had a dream today about my ex. it was a pt2 to the dream i had the other night that i told u guys about. this time was different. she called me. we talked for about an hour i'm guessing; in the dream it was a long time.lol we talked about everything. EVERYTHING, from the day we met, to the day we talked for the last time. we laughed. didn't argue a single time. she said that she was surprised that i even picked up the phone. she thanked me for talkin to her and we hung up. then i woke up scratching my head like WTF???? kinda weird huh. funny thing about all this, i don't hate her. well kinda but not really......well, i don't hate her. i strongly dislike her for not being honest with me about her feelings for ol' boy and still "doing" their thing while she and i were "working things out". i can't lie and pretend that i don't miss her though. i miss her like crazy. her smile, her touch, her kiss. hell, i even miss her crazy ass dog......... but what i'm feeling isn't a missing her as in "wanting to be with her" missing her b/c i could never go back. my heart wouldn't allow it.

i planned on writing this long letter(sometime in the near future. a month or 2 or 3) to her saying how much i had changed and how wrong about me she was and that leaving me for him was the biggest mistake of her life, but now, honestly, its not worth it. i know how far i've come and how far i'm going. i've done more than i thought that i could do in this short period of time and i'm so proud of myself. i have a great full-time job. i'll be living in my own place as soon as the first of the year and i did it all within a 6weeks span. i don't need that closure from her. i just need to keep doing what i'm doing......moving on. yeah it hurts me that she's out having a blast wit that dude and i'm sittin here lookin at the 4 walls(while i lay awake at night not being able to sleep) in my room wondering when am i gonna find someone thats going to want to be with me for who i am. sometimes i wonder what shes doing. if she thinks about me as much as i think about her. but then i remember," clearly not as much as u do because you would have gotten something(text, call, tweet, fb message)from her to show that she does." but then i think to myself, "why does it matter?" i'm not going down that path again so let her do her. i haven't had the urge to call her. not one time. but i have had the urge to send "F YOU" texts when i think about things that i know she wasn't honest with me about and telling people false things about me and my actions as of late. i think to myself, "hey, she doesn't care, so don't look back homie. keep it moving." even if she were to call me, i don't think i would want to talk to her. not right now at least. i wouldn't know what to say..... maybe after i get a fine ass girlfriend and move into my place, tell her i'm filthy rich and i'm getting married.....yeah,then maybe so i can brag on myself like i'm 12 lol but i wouldn't want to do that either. i just want to happy and i'm headed down that path.......


if you are listening to the music being played, these songs are a few songs that i have been listening to during this time of "moving on". they help me on the extra sad days and the extra happy days. i have yet to reach the "happy medium" but with each day that goes by, i feel i'm getting closer and closer to that point and eventually i will be at a place were i don't think about her at all. these are songs that were recommended to me to help me get past this and it helps and i feel like its my turn to help my readers in need to know of these songs as well. i really didn't plan on going this far about this stuff in this post but i'm here now. thanks for reading.....

peace&love

Cheaters

whats good everyone!


i've had writers block the past couple of days but today i feel like writing for some reason. nothing specific on my mind, just feel like bloggin. well, i take that back. i read something the other day that really upset me and i wanted to just sit down and blog and just rant, but its not even worth it. i also came up with an idea to actually express my feelings and emotions lately i think you all will enjoy it. i just have to figure out how to put it on here lol


i wanted to talk about the tiger woods situation and cheating but i really don't feel like puttin that much energy into it. i tweeted on it and i think i made my point. although i do feel like sayin a little something about now so here's my thoughts on cheating....don't do it. its not worth it. been down that road 1 time and 1 time only. although certain people think that i did it multiple times, it only happened with one person and i regret it. i should have walked away from the relationship before i even entertained the "fling".

i've always been the good guy, honest and reliable; and in my last relationship, i turned into the bad guy. i wasn't honest with myself or my ex at times and it had a snowball affect on the relationship. now this last go round of our attempt to work things out, i will not put on myself because the same things that she complained to me about, she did. she wasn't honest with me from the jump, so thats something that she is gonna have to live with. but thats another blog for another day. CHEATING. people, how on earth can we say that we are ready for the " next chapter" in our lives if we are still doing the same crap that we've been doing since we have been in high school? u can't move forward and you won't move forward. if you aren't ready for the responsibilities that come with the relationship, don't get in one. keep doing your solo dolo thing and keep pushin. thats all i have to say, this is startin to irritate me.....PEACE&LOVE

thanksgiving weekend

Hey everyone!

Happy belated thanksgiving!! I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days now, but I’ve been so busy with work, school work and preparing for the transition from my old job to my new job. So with that said let’s get into it....

Thanksgiving.....


Thanksgiving started off very bad for me. I was alone with nowhere to go. My whole family left for VA to go to my cousins’ wedding over the weekend. My mother was here and her sisters but you already know how things are with us so clearly I wasn’t gonna be around for that. Sooooo ….i went to my friend’s house(s). The first house I went to was cool. I went to my home girl house and ate some really good food. Her mom and sister both were there hadn’t seen them in a few months so it was good to see them as well. BUT her boyfriend was there as well. Her boyfriend and I are cool but we had a “small” issue some years back. It’s been resolved since then, but it was still a little uncomfortable being there. Like she made one comment like, “remember that one time…..” but then she inserted a “but it happened a long time ago. Long long time ago.” And I’m thinking if you have to do that then clearly there has to be issues going on with me being there. But she invited me so I’m like hey, it is what is ya know. This happened years ago let’s leave it at that....So I left that house and went to house number two. I went to my homeboy house and I had a GREAT time. 4 of my homies were there and we had a great round table discussion about girls, girls, funny moments, twitter and more girls. I really missed having those talks. We, well mainly they did, discussed girls that are known for things other than their good looks. I had NO IDEA how many of the same people we all knew. Well, I kinda did, but it was good to confirm facts. The food was great too btw Lol so after 2hrs of laughs and jokes I left and went to house number 3….my best friend house. I usually go there every year for the holidays and I enjoy myself every time. His aunt is one of the funniest and bluntly honest women alive. I fixed myself a plate because I couldn’t possibly eat another morsel of food. Lol we attempted to see a movie but it was sold out and the next showing wasn’t until 2hrs later and we didn’t feel like waiting. So in all I had a good day. It took my mind off of things and I enjoyed myself. Honestly it was hard for me spending thanksgiving alone this year without my ex. Thanksgiving was our first holiday that we spent together and it brought back memories.....


Speaking of her, I had a really weird dream about her last night. I dreamt that we were on the phone but I was the only one talking. She said 3 maybe 4 words, and that’s all she said. Like it was one of those “I’ll let you talk the whole time, just get it over with” conversations. I’m not gonna go into detail about what I think it meant, but I do feel like it was a sign of recent events on how things are/were between us. To add on to this, I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately. I sleep for 3hrs and I wake up. Then I’m up for 2hrs then I fall back to sleep for 2hrs then I wake up again. I really couldn’t tell you the last time I actually slept through the night. I’m not sure what exactly it means for sure, but I have a feeling that this has a small part in all this. There’s more I want to add on to this, but I’m waiting until I get some things in order first before I have the “final thoughts” on this topic. If you guys have opinions on it feel free to comment.


I really feel like talking about it now, but I HAVE to wait...BUT any who....


Random though...you guys ever have so much on your mind that you don’t know where to end or begin? Well that’s how I feel now. I want to say how I feel. I want to say what I want, I want to scream..BUT I don’t know how to properly express it without sounding like I’m rambling. i have some kinda feeling but i don't know what it is, So I guess I will end this post with that. *note* I’m not sad or anything so please don’t call or text or tweet me asking me if I’m sad. I’m fine; I just don’t know how to express my emotions right now.....

what they really want from a brotha??

so i was reading one the blogs that i follow and it got me thinking.....what is it that really want from a woman??????
i
i mean clearly i KNOW what i want, but the question is are YOU capable of giving it back? i hate the dating process. absolutely hate it. i hate the whole "holding back certain comments because she may not know that i'm joking" thing. i hate meeting friends and family that don't like me because i didn't do this or that the way they wanted me to do it. i couldn't tell you the last girl i dated and i actually LIKED her friends. lol i just want to know WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. i'm not going to pretend to like you, i'm not gonna gas your head up with lies or anything like that. just say, "this is what i want and if you can do those things and whatever else positivity you can bring is a plus". i want to meet a girl that gives me butterflies and makes me chase her a bit. i've NEVER in the years of dating had to chase a female. not a single one. i've never approached a girl. they always have came on to me first and i just went with it. if it developed into something, then great. if it didn't,thats great too. even my relationships, they always began with sex after first meeting. i don't want that in my next relationship. i want the real deal courtship. make me wait. make me chase you. hell, make me do anything besides pin your legs back within a day or two. lol

i'm not 100% ready to get back in the game, but i am up for a good game of 21. meaning i'm not trying to be with ANYONE right now but i will listen to what you have to say. i'm still nursing a few injuries but trust, i won't be out for long. i think last week sped up a LARGE portion of that, but its still a growing process that i'm workin hard to recover from. this post was a little random and i'm sure i contradicted myself a little but hey its my blog and i'm just thinking out loud. have a good day folks.....

peace&love

my weekend

hey everyone! how was your weekend?

my weekend was pretty cool. it sucked and then it got back cool and then it sucked some more and now its cool again. as u all know, i was suppose to go out friday night after work wit my friend, BUT like everything else in my social life, it didn't happen. i called her earlier that day and she said that she was gonna try and finish her paper so we could go out and she was ready to have fun that night. well, around 7ish i think, she called me back and said that she wasn't gonna be able to go because she was still workin on the paper and that she would be done by saturday so we could go saturday instead. so i was like cool no problem. i'm a firm believer in school coming first. besides, i would have fallen asleep on the movie anyways. so i went home and did absolutely nothing, well i wrote out my spending for the next two weeks and that was it oh, and watched star trek GREAT MOVIE!!!!

So, i wake up saturday morning and i'm like you know what, i'm gonna have a great Aaron day! So got up, made breakfast and looked at the times for som movies. i was gonna call my friend but i really just wanted to have a day to myself. i went to see Precious and New Moon. for those of you that haven't seen Precious, please please please go see this movie. its a powerful movie that you MUST see. at first i felt a little lame for seeing that movie alone, but who else was i gonna go see it with? Baxter??? lol it was great seeing sooo many people to see that movie. i expected it to be a few people there,but it was great seeing people support the movie. after i watched precious i walk right into new moon lol smooth transition. there were SOOOOOO many small children in there and i kept thinkin"this is a vampire movie regardless of the love story surrounding it" but white people do what they want,when they want lol not even 15 min in some 3 yr old starts cryin like crazy and they hadn't shown any bad stuff yet. lol i mean, why do that? why bring a small child into a huge dark room with surround sound with hundreds of people only to be walkin in and out every 10min because your child is crying. great way to ruin EVERYONE else movie experience and waste 10 bucks for a movie you won't get to see. New Moon was pretty good. i was surprised to see one person in the movie, but she did a good job the little bit she was in it. and i'm assuming the 3rd will be on its way soon. i was going to stay for a 3rd but i got hungry and spending 500 bucks for popcorn was out of the question so i left and got myself a pizza from Johnny Brusco's and went home and watched just chilled.

The only reason why i said that my weekend sucked was because........well, idk. it really didn't. i had a great weekend. i didn't have any beefs or drama or anything like that. i went to church this morning and it was a great message. so i actually had a great weekend. this week is going to be a great week. i can feel it. although, i will be spending thanksgiving alone because my entire family is going out of town, i'm still going to enjoy myself. maybe i will cook my own dinner this year or maybe i will go to jackson and eat with my cousin and his family. not sure yet, but

thats all i have for now, i have something else i want to discuss but i will probably wait a little while before i blog about it,but anywho....

peace&love

THE TALK(not really)

FINALLY!!! ITS FRIDAY!!!!

tonight i was suppose to go kick it with the fellas tonight like i said earlier, but instead i stayed home and kicked it with my little sister. we went to Huey's and got something to eat and had a good time. my sister and i aren't the closest that siblings can be(7yrs apart) but when we connect, we connect. and tonight was one of those nights. this little girl is going to change the world. mark my words. she is soooo much smarter than i was at her age. more outgoing more focused and just more prepared. i think, (well i know) that i was the practice child. i'm the oldest child on both sides of my biological parents and i didn't really get that,"you need to be doing this instead of that speech" i mean i got it, but that was it, and it usually came AFTER i eff'd up. i made so many mistakes as a child because the focus wasn't there on my end or my parents. i was too far for my pops to really do anything and when i was there with him, it was more like lets make up for not being there with gifts and money, etc. and as you all know already i don't have the best relationship with my mom. we never really had a real connection. even with all the stuff that happened with my ex this week, she blames me for my ex's actions and said that i was weak for her and i always will be. i'm like WTF???? Thanks for NOT saying something that would help me feel better about this crap. its bad enough i gotta hear my ex talkin to me crazy and now you are too. thanks for not being 24 mom.

*PAUSE* back to what i was talkin about......

so i had a talk with my sister tonight about being a responsible adult. i hate to hear parents say " you don't want to end up like..." and they don't even know the situation. they are on they outside looking in and i know my mom says that to her about me. in fact i hate to hear people say that in general. so i explained to her the reasons why i did some things in my past so she could see how it really happened. i explained to her why i moved back to new york, why i came to memphis, why my ex and i were always going back and forth. i explained to her why men do and say the things we say. i told her how and why its important to express her feelings honestly and truthfully. we didn't have "birds and the bee's talk" because there is more to adulthood than talkin about sex. i wanted her to see the BIGGER picture. i'm not that kinda older brother either. i'm more of a laid back, tell you what u need to hear type. tonight we had a great time. i don't think we've ever talked that long and not fight after wards. i think with time she and i will become closer as she gets older.

happy thursday

hey everyone!



hows your day going? today has been real chill. no calls no texts no drama. i did get word that my ex tried to say some things to a friend and tried to flip it on me(again) but i figure this, if they don't ask me or realize she lying, then they aren't people i need in my life either. she's been sayin things to people about me for a min now. clearly i was out of the loop #kanyeshrug.....


*ironically, bring me down by kanye west is playin right now as i write this post

shout out to the big homie. today is his b day. i just realized that i'm the youngest of our crew and i love it! i've never been the "little brother" of my friends. i'm always Jonny Drama(for those that watch Entourage you know who i'm talkin about) so enjoy it for the kid and be safe! like you always tellin us. lol

sooo....let me update you all on my beard and hair process. i'm cuttin my hair tomorrow. the guy that was cuttin my hair keeps pushin my line back. i kept tellin to stop doin that. if you just pick up where last week hair is growing back thats all u have to cut. don't push it back. my beard is fine but i might trim it down for my interview so my new boss isn't scared. you know how white people get sometimes lol so thats all i have for now, i'm either going to rumba room tonight or bowling wit the fellas tonight. so i'll catch you guys on the flip side
peace&love